Originally Posted by slanker
Hi I’m new here, mind if I add and ask? I’ve been PEing for 2 months now and I’m getting moderate results I hope as due for measurements next week. I have also just got into male multiple dry orgasms from the book by mantak chia and I found this thread quite useful. I have no problem spreading the energy and cycling for 30mins plus. However my point of no return does come quite suddenly, I kegel to hold it and then spread it which is ok, my main concern is the time and rate at which the ponr suddenly makes it self known.
So you are saying that these cycling and spreading exercises will eventually push the ponr further back? How often should we practice this in order to push it back alot? And in order to cure PE, shouldn’t we have to ejaculate after edging or does spreading suffice?
It sounds like you’re on the right track, particularly if you’re having dry orgasms and sessions, and are already reading Chia.
I can’t really give you a definitive answer to your questions, because everyone is different. All I can do is offer suggestions.
My first suggestion would be to relax and enjoy the process of learning about your sexual response patterns. There are no hard and fast rules, so don’t take it too seriously or get hung up on whether or not you’re “doing it right.” Just find what works for you.
I think the basic Spreading exercise is a good place to start with learning about the PONR. But I should make something clear. The main purpose of the Spreading exercise is to help you get used to holding higher and higher levels of “charge.” After Spreading, as you go about your day, you will have more sexual “energy” circulating in your body, since you’ve come right up to the point of ejaculation and then stopped. Normally this would lead to discomfort and maybe even “blue balls.” Spreading is a way to acclimate yourself to holding this “energy” without discomfort by relaxing into it and moving it around.
The flip side of this is that you will become aroused more easily, since there’s more “energy” readily available. This is where Cycling comes in: while you are aroused, training yourself to slow down/pull back/ ease off, and move the “energy” away from your genitals will help to stay in front of the PONR. Eventually you should become more comfortable staying at higher levels of arousal for longer periods of time.
I wouldn’t worry too much about how quickly the PONR initially arrives. The main thing (which it sounds like you’re already mastering) is to be tuned into it and know how and when to back off. Interestingly, after a few times of backing off, I find that I’m able to push to higher states than before, i.e. what used to be the PONR no longer is.
An analogy might help here. I’ve noticed when I do cardio exercise like running, after about five minutes I want to stop—my body is like, “OK, that’s enough!” It’s quite a strong feeling. That’s what the initial PONR is like. But if I just keep going, and consciously push through that feeling, I can easily run for 45 minutes to an hour, and even feel exhilarated while doing it—about a half-hour in, my body is like, “Yeah, this feels great! Let’s sprint!” That’s what it’s like when you incorporate Spreading and Cycling into your sex life.
You said that you’ve had dry orgasms. That’s pretty advanced stuff, so I’m sure you’ll be able to do what I’m about to suggest:
Instead of going over the edge into a dry orgasm, do the Internal Lock (or the Big Draw) before you get to the PONR. Then do the second part of the Spreading exercise, where you relax your whole body and focus on the energy diffusing throughout your body. Rinse and repeat a couple of times, but each time try and stay in front of the PONR for longer periods of time and practice Cycling before doing the Internal Lock again.
Another thing to try is, right at the PONR, where you have the decision either to go over the edge into an orgasm (either wet or dry) or to back off, do a strong Super Pulling Kegel and continue to lightly stimulate yourself, avoiding the glans and focusing on the lower half of the shaft. Note that the objective here is to remain right at that point, not to go forward or back. You are simultaneously pulling energy away while very gently stimulating yourself (keeping the energy in the genitals)—basically maintaining equilibrium. Ideally, the Super Pulling Kegel should win out eventually, and the net effect should be that arousal level declines slightly. From there you cycle a bit and then move back up to 99% percent arousal again, and repeat. This is a great way to get used to being/staying in a highly aroused state. And again, my experience has been that after doing this for a few cycles I can reach even higher levels of arousal. In other words, the PONR gets pushed back.
As I said, everyone’s different, so these are just suggestions based on my experience. Please come back and let us know how these ideas work for you, or if you discover any interesting techniques of your own!
Originally Posted by BigBear
Ok at the risk of sounding like a total dufus, can anyone describe the idea of spreading? I’ve been trying to get the hang of it but I’m still not sure if I’m doing it correctly. I’ll masturbate, without any contractions for about 20 mins or so and when the first contraction kicks in I stop and totally relax my body (i’m lying on my back at this stage). I actually use my hands to massage the area around my pelvis and inner thighs, making sure I avoid the penis whilst taking slow deep breaths. This works really well in taking me away from PONR but it’s not spreading is it? I mean imagine doing that in the middle of sex?? your girl might think your on ecstacy or something! hahaha
It sounds like you’re doing the basic Spreading exercise correctly. At this point, you should have a good sense of what Spreading feels like—you should be able to “Spread” any time during the day now, just by remembering to do it. Spreading is actually a somatic memory/creative visualization type exercise. It’s about diffusing your sexual energy throughout your body, and ideally being able to focus or “condense” it anywhere you wish (but that’s beyond the scope of this discussion.)
So once you’ve got the basic idea of Spreading down, you can integrate it into your active sessions (solo or with a partner.) Think of it as going hand in hand with cycling. When you pull back and move to a lower state of arousal, you simultaneously “remember” to “spread” the energy around and suffuse your entire body. you can even visualize passing energy to your partner through a kiss or a caress (or through your dick, but be very careful with that, since there’s a good chance you’ll end up giving her more than just “energy”!) So ultimately, you shouldn’t need to do the full body relaxation part of the exercise in order to Spread (although it’s always nice, if you have the time. After lovemaking I’ll often spread—it’s not so different from the “afterglow” of normal sex after you’ve come. You just lay there in a blissed out state for a bit and “circulate.”) But while making love, you can still “spread” just by remembering to move the energy around—you don’t need to stop doing what you’re doing. Once you know how to do it, it’s all in your mind.
Once you’ve got Spreading down by doing the exercise in the OP, you might think of it as “mental kegels”—a simple exercise you can do anytime, anywhere.
I hope this makes it a little clearer. :)