Yeah,
I’m at day 21. Again, a couple times seeing thumbnails on YouTube, the occasional avatar for forums I’m well and truly bored of visiting.
I’ve figured out - well - had it laid out for me that the internet is the pornography delivery mechanism. Some of you are thinking “yeah, Captain Obvious!” With no TV, a reduced, boring existence, it’s no wonder the internet replaced TV.
So, I gotta get a life. Seriously.
I’m thinking of some software that might limit my time on favoured websites (this one might be included.)
There’s some introspection that’s going on; ruminating on time wasted, behavior that aren’t beneficial to me, etc. The underlying deflation and sadness is lessening. Self-consciousness and other neurotic thoughts are being modified. Considering the objectifying culture we live in, it’s unlikely to ever completely disappear, but I’m aware of a slight shift in self-perception.
There’s more control over my mind as I’m vacillating between fantasizing. It’s unsatisfying and easier to halt when it ‘pop’s into my mind. Looking at women still induces a muted lust which I attribute to porn dulling my receptivitiy (dopamine receptors, neural wiring, etc.
Complete orientation to ‘real world’ woman is the aim. No electronic mediation.
Thinking about what I’m gone do is great, but action is needed.
Should also add I’ve been walking, probably a minimum of 4 miles per day. Exercise has lessened, but I’m gonna get that back up.
Edit: spending time on NoFap forums, reading material to help is beneficial. I need to see what others are going through, their lapses, triumphs, strategies, philosophies, ethos, etc.