Erection mind games

Guys I’ve been experiencing issues getting completely erect when I’m with my wife. When I’m PE’ing or masturbating there’s no problems. When I’m with her, I can’t seem to get more than a chubby (60-70%). Once I manage to get it into her everything perks up and it’s off to the races and everything is fine but I want to be 100% from at the point of entry.

When I first started PE’ing I was always at 100% but over the course of the last month or so is when the problem started. I haven’t changed my routine and I haven’t experienced any injuries from PE. I’m pretty sure it’s in my head. Has anyone else experienced this? How did you overcome it?

There are so many possible factors (sleep quality, how well work is going, any kind of life-altering change, caffeine intake, alcohol, etc. etc.). It’s very likely in your head, as you say.

I have this theory that taking up PE can be very mind-altering - and sometimes negatively - for a certain percentage of men. Read posts here any day of life and you find guys asking questions that would never have occured to them before they started PE. They become highly penis-obsessed. :) “Help! I have this bump on my shaft!” “Oh, God, I cum too fast now,” or, “I cum too slow.” “Help! I don’t get a hard-on in 31 seconds anymore!” “There’s this vein on one of my balls! Help!”

Before PE we didn’t think so much about our cocks or our erectile response. We had normal lives. We had sex with success. Suddenly we’re measuring them, and checking them out, many times a day, and pulling on them and pumping them and tying them off and all sorts of other new stuff. Suddenly we worry that we are making an impression in the locker room. Suddenly we wonder if the secretaries at work are checking our bulges out and we worry if they are (Is it too big for the work situation??) and if they don’t seem to be checking us out, Is it too small? “Normal” takes on new meaning with all this PE shit.

Questions:

How long has it been since you took your wife out on a date? A real date. Just the two of you.

When you go to bed together, how long has it been since you _really_ played with each other’s bodies before you try to slide it in? And told each other what feels especially good, and taught each other what turns you both on?

You’ll be fine. You just have to readjust some thinking. PE isn’t sex. PE is for the future. Sex is now.

Sounds like you’re blocking yourself mentally. The more concern you place on this “condition” the more frequently it will happen and the harder it will be to overcome.

Doesn’t sound like anything is physically wrong. Try oral sex and other pre-intercourse stimulants to achieve a full hard-on before penetration.

Thanks for the reply.

Last weekend.

80% of the time and when we do that all is well. Now that I really think about it, it’s the 20% of the time that’s the problem. If it’s a “quickie” as she likes to refer to it, like right before we fall asleep when it’s past our bedtime on a work night or right before there’s something that needs to be attended to in a timely fashion. That’s when I’m falling apart and I didn’t use to.

So guess it’s really not all the time like I eluded to in my initial posting. I guess since the last few times have included the circumstances I described that why my poor performance seemed more frequent. I just don’t know why all of the sudden I’m feeling so much pressure. Maybe it’s like you said..

Any suggestions on how to think less about it in a sexual situation?

Thanks again!

I think you’re right. In the quickie situations and she’s jerking or blowing me to get me rolling, I’m thinking..

I can’t wait to get hard.
I wonder if she’ll notice my new gains.
I can’t wait to hear her response when I slide it in.
Shit! Whys it taking so long.
Damn it! Her jaws hurt now.

I could go on but that’s some of my thought process. Obviously I’m psyching myself out because when we’re 69ing and I’m focusing on her and hearing the sounds of pleasure she’s making with my cock in her mouth, I get hard as a rock. It’s only when every things focused on my pleasure that I can’t perform.

Any suggestions are welcome.

Avocet, you are totally right.

Play. Don’t work at it. :)

Every time one of those silly thoughts goes through your head (Why’s this taking so long? Will she notice my gains?) you get a shot of adrenalin, which is an erection killer.

I have teh same problem…

Everyone says, the more you think about it the worse it’ll get it. How do I not think about it, especially when it happens a lot.

Excellent post Avocet. An unfortunate byproduct of trying to attain a larger dick, is an unhealthy obsession that is almost unavoidable, at least until it’s become habit.

Did anyone mention the possibility that PE is fatiguing your unit? Try taking a week or two off all PE, and see if things don’t perk up.