If I can't be helped I feel like I don't want to live

Hi Chris,

I have some good news for you. I was 6’ 1.5” at that age and only a few pounds heavier. In the 130’s. My dick size was definitely around 5.75 to 6.00 at that time with a girth of about 5”.

To gain weight, I ate tons of food, candy, etc., trying to get my calorie intake really high, but ended up hurting my health. Ultimately, I ended up getting some whey powder and creatine, went to the gym regularly, started eating better and cut out the empty calories. Hello, another 15 pounds another 1/2” of girth and, with the last of my natural growth, another 1/2” or so of length. Since then, I have jelqued, pulled, hung, pumped my way to another 1” and more of length and about 1/4” of girth (variable).

Some people are late bloomers. Don’t get down about it; your life is just beginning!

Cheers,

Beej

One last thing. I was a virgin until I was almost 20 years old. Welcome to the club!

Big Dreams, I am not a medical professional, but please, I implore you, to seek medical attention if you continue to have thoughts of suicide. There *is* help for these kinds of disorders (perseverating or obsessive thoughts can be controlled by medication, and/or by cognitive therapy). More importantly there is ZERO SHAME in getting medical help for an affliction of the mind. Most common ailment in medicine and also the most undertreated.

Let me tell you my story…maybe you can get some tips and realize people can really be sufferng and still rise over their problems and have happy and fulfilling lives. I rarely want to end it all anymore. That would be a very dark day indeed. I consider my life to be pretty good, you know. Lots of laughter, joy, love. A family. And to think I might have gotten so down as to miss out on all of it, is scary. I remember some times as a teen where I used to listen to suicide songs and fantasize about going out in some dramatic fashion that would “show them”. I got over high school, and I got over that girl eventually.

So, I have benefited from these tools that I sought out later in life. (I have generalized anxiety disorder and panic disorder which I treat with mental exercises I learned in therapy, and also mild sedatives for controlling the physical symptoms of severe panic attacks. Before I had either of these treatments, I used to have out of control panic issue over nothing at all….just stuff in my head. The worst could be similar to a really bad acid trip - get tunnel vision, feel nauseous, sounds didn’t come through right. Sometimes I became convinced that certain things weren’t real, but found out later they actually were real. So, in a high enough state of panic, (same goes for depression), you can hallucinate up and down,just as if you were tripping or doing shrooms. That is how powerful our own drugs, the neurochemical transmitters in our brains, are.

Some times anxiety over body issues was a trigger for the attack. Sometimes money (although im not poor, I have a somewhat high maintenance lifestlye and a family depending on me, and because i work in sales, my cash flow is a bit bumpy. ..so sometimes we have cash flow issues. there is usually a low point )generally the day I get some giant unexpected bill) where Im looking round the house for something to sell, but i don’t want to get rid of anything. So I start coming up with elaborate fantasies about frauds and crime that could quickly net me, say, 50k. By this time Im pretty amped up, and halfway into a fantasy where its really not so hard to knock over a bank, kinda just like in Point Break, and just when Im figuring out which of the Dead Presidents I could feel most comfortable with, and trying to estimate the impact of only having just one Dead President instead of a nice quartet of them, I get a grip - try the exercises and then I pop an Ativan or two.

After that usually it dissipates pretty quickly and I can get back into a sane person’s mode of thinking and pull up a banking statement and update my current cash flow and then I see that it usually will be fine in a few days and if not I can shuffle some funds.

So, please, believe me when I tell you this: even though you may NEVER have the penis girth you want, with therapy and the right meds, you can totally accept that, as bad news, but it doesn’t have to destroy your perception of your life. The drugs take the black edge off. Let you think about whatever you want to think about, instead of the object of your obsession. Or, gives you the luxury of thinking about it but being able to turn it off at will, instead of how it is now.

I have been where you are. Its no fun in that place. So please, don’t go to that place again. Call a friend. See a therapist. Go to a happy place. Heck, PM or email me. I’m free.

BigDreams, first and foremost, there is most definitely hope. I am at roughly 3.5” to 3.75” mid-shaft erect girth depending on my erection quality. You think you have it bad? I actually do have sex by the way, and though I have been able to keep it somewhat enjoyable, I know that deep down, there can be a lot of improvement.

Firstly, there ARE women out there who can live with a smaller size, you just have to compensate for it EVERYWHERE else (whether its looks, smarts, humor, or all of the above, etc).

Secondly, some people are better at gaining length than girth, and some people are better at gaining girth than length, you may fall under the first category. I gain length easier than I gain girth (as a matter of fact I’ve been doing PE for about a month and have seen little to no girth gain, but a half inch in erect length BP). This does not mean you wont gain girth, but it may mean requiring more effort, time, and planning. You have to modify your workouts to better suit your individual penis. PM me and I’ll explain more about what I mean about that.

Lastly, if even after a year you see little to no gains in girth, there are extreme options that are worth considering. Surgery, though very risky, should be the very last option. It’s definitely the most guaranteed way of obtaining girth, but it has its many potential complications. I am actually planning to do natural PE and I wont stop until the day a doctor comes out with a tested and true method for permanent penis enlargement. I recommend you do the same - just hang in there and save cash on the side — if you haven’t reached your desired goals in 2-3 years, drop the cash and get a procedure done (make sure you do the research in that department).

Oh and about killing yourself, I can’t say that I’ve ever been genuinely suicidal, but being thin in a world where porn distorts our perception of what a penis is supposed to be, it can be real hard. Rest assure that if I can make a girl have a good time, you can too! I mean it definitely requires more foreplay and clit stimulation than I’d like, but its all about compensation.

Oh and I was going to note that, in the event that you choose not to pursue extreme methods, and find that PE is not working for you - it ultimately means that life didn’t have it planned for you - but until that day, you should continue working at it.

You’ll be fine, just be smart, and if these thoughts persist continuously, be sure to get help, because life itself does not revolve around the measurement of some body part.

Oh and one other thing, don’t forget that almost all women have some sort of insecurity, so when you are with them, simply remind yourself that no one is perfect.

Well first thanks for the responses again and let me clarify that I am gay, so I do appreciate the post about how I can please a women with what I have but I don’t intend to.

Siva Lingam- you know it’s funny sometimes I feel like anything is possible and others I can’t do anything right. I would like to believe that anyone’s goal can be achieved in P.E. Yes with gay sexual interaction it’s pretty much those two anal and oral, and I assume a ass is tighter than a pussy.

Perhaps size is more important being gay but there is really no way to figure it out.

Carlos11- That’s nice to hear that everyone here is working towards the same goal and willing to help anyone no matter what they are. Longer jelqs do make more sense for girth I will look into that. I do warm up about 5 to 7 minutes before and 5-7 when I warm down. I didn’t really take any rest days cause my EQ never really went down and that seems to be the way to measure to take a day off or not.

Kingpole- It would be great to have a mentor to help me out. I’ll PM you

Beej- So by just going to the gym and gaining 15 pounds of muscle you gained ½ inch of girth, does a bigger body mean more girth? Or did you P.E also in that time?

Fantom- The thoughts come and go but they come more often then I would like. I have seen a therapist and we talked about medication but I refused and I eventually stop seeing them casue I felt it wasn’t helping. Something in me tells me that a human can do and overcome anything by there own will and it’s why I don’t want medication. I’ve had what you describe as panic and anxiety attacks before and it’s a weird place when you begin to think to much to making things that are not there somehow there. Maybe I do have an obsessive disorder but in a way what It does it’s makes me focus on something 100%. Though I lack focus anywhere else when this happens, I become super focused on whatever it is and perfect it. Which is what I intend to do with P.E So I try not to think that my goal will NEVER happen because it will someway.

Determined2Gain- Well I had no idea there was a surgery for girth increase, and maybe it’s better that I don’t look or think about doing that.

Once again I’m gladly surprised by the support of this forum. And this site is a true testament of a great online community

Big-Dreams-

Given that you have never had sex, I have to ask - how do you know you are gay? Why can’t you be bi? I think people have really fixed ideas about themselves. Gay and straight are just labels, and don’t in my opinion correspond accurately to what we find at the core of people’s psyches.

PS. So my wife’s offer is null and void then ? ;)

Marky, maybe he follows “The Laws of Attraction” He looks at a female and feels nothing, on the other hand he looks at a male and gets hard on. Haha. I’m sure he thought long and hard about his sexual preference before coming out. I would assume would take allot of courage to do so.

Depends if he lives in ‘frisco or not :D

Even the name sounds gay, Frisco. Haha. But really you can’t say everyone from Frisco is gay. I did meet a man from there once called Phillipe, he was really nice and friendly. He always looked out for me, cuddled me when I was sad and made sure I washed under my foreskin correctly. You know regular guy stuff, and I’m sure he wasn’t gay. =P

Dude, this is not the correct attitude.

Work slowly and confidently, don’t go too extreme, you will only hurt yourself.

And remember, sex is not everything… Men (gay men, of course) like the rest of your body as well. They also like your personality, your clothing, your sense of humor, your honesty, and there’s a lot more to sex than penetration… You can make a man cum with only your hands and mouth. I myself am not gay, but I have a lot of gay friends who talk a lot about this :-P .

So come on, give life a chance, go and live it, like a man. Go and have fun with men, or maybe find the special someone for you… Just don’t let something this silly ruin your life, please.

Hope you get better, and please feel free to talk to me if you need any kind of help or support.

Big-Dreams.

As with all the other guys here, I share your feelings about yourself, But not about putting an end to life,

As has been mentioned You still have a period of growth in your life. It is probable that your hormones haven’t caught up with your other developments. Many guys are also underweight at 18-20 , because they are slower developers than average. I was too. At age 18 I was 5’ 9¼ ins in height weighed 124 lbs and expanded chest was 35. and had a smaller dick than just about everyone.

But doing exercises at the gym, and running, I gradually put on weight, and after a while I was able to pretty near match others of my age. Also my dick grew a bit to something which was acceptable to look at. We didn’t do measurements then! :)

But the moral of this piece is You can get your goals, but you have to be patient with yourself. Why not join a gym . You are above average in the length department and girth will come with (for my preference) Pumping. Admittedly It can be an expensive buy, But It will be one of the best purchases you ever made. And don’t worry about being slim. At the two Gyms I go to there are plenty of guys your age - and younger - who are slim and there to get more bulk. And with dedication it happens.

You don’t say what your other interests are. But getting out and doing something postive like training at a Health club, will probably do wonders. (Most Local Councils run them). And you will also see that there are guys who are envious of you!

You don’t have to reveal your body to others. Many guys wear a towel when taking their shorts off and no-one worries about it Showers nowadays have cubicles with doors.

The main thing if you do this is that you are doing something positive, and giving yourself an interest in life.

Good luck! And don’t forget to tell us your gains!

Petit

Damn. Replying to all of those people must have took you a long time!
I’ll give you an in-depth reply and try to help you out the best I can.
Anyway, to answer your question, try this: Measure your girth completely flaccid. Is it smaller than 4.25? If so, then do your jelqs, then measure your flaccid dick after. Give it two or three minutes to soften. It should be "plumped" meaning the girth should be bigger than your Pre-measurement which was flaccid. It MIGHT be 4.25", but it might not. As long as it’s larger than your pre-jelq flaccid girth (and should feel hotter to the touch temperature wise, like a bloated sauseage with a fever :D ).

I looked over your routine. The jelqing reps/time is fine. The stretches… I would change those. Doing what you did should have gotten you used to how to grip your dick to stretch it, but I would add a more intense stretch routine (like using a fulcrum-type stretch for say 20 minutes total, taking breaks after say 15-30 seconds per stretch). Here are some of my favorite threads to help you along.

Speaking to Big Gainer soon
Very inspirational thread, and the guy who gained a lot just used a basic routine and STUCK WITH IT (very key point).

Still Gaining! Don’t Give Up!
Another good post.

8" goal met after 2 years
Goal met in 2 years.

Secjay’s PE report 2002 - warning: LONG!
If you choose to skip out on the other threads to read, I STRONGLY suggest you read this. Secjay really claimed the benefits of PE and was inspirational for me early on (say 5 years ago :D ). Anyway, this is his in-depth routine and report. READ THIS ONE!!!

… and finally

DLD Blasters…Un-Real Length Gains
With 71,000+ views, this thread is probably one of the major threads of all-time. You don’t have to read every page… you’ll get all you need from the first page or two. For what it’s worth. That was the thread that got me my first gains back in March of ‘03.

Good luck, and all you need is the determination and patience to gain (sooner or later you’ll figure out what works for you).

Mark777- Well I’d like to keep the thread to P.E and not a sexuality debate but to quickly sum it up. I happen to think that every human being is Bi to an extent and just as many straight men don’t need to have sex with a man to know they are happy with a women it works both ways. So yes why can’t I be bi, why can’t everyone be bi? I mean I don’t think there is a such thing as 100% gay or straight. I associate myself with the label gay because I have a stronger emotional and physical attraction with men, while I haven’t had sex it’s not like I haven’t interacted with people.

Mdrg- Yes penetration is not everything but a big dick gives someone one of the most sought after things in the world confidence and anything that boost confidence especially as much as this is worth doing correctly.

Petitfaun- Yes I do hope that maybe I have one last growth stage in my life. People are usually kind of surprised that I’m 20 cause of how young I look but I don’t know what that has to do with if it is hormones. I do play basketball a lot and run from time to time so cardio wise I’m in very good shape. But lifting weights would help.

Wt282- It did take a little respond to everyone but a small price to pay for the knowledge I am getting from this community. (OK to sum it up Post flaccid girth should be bigger the Pre flaccid girth for a good workout ok). Well I have just begun to start using the A-Stretch which I think is the fulcrum stretch and good links.

I had just recently took time off P.E and am going to start again with what I now know. My dreams are once again big and hopefully in time other things as well.

Yes, yes, I know, and I agree, I just wanted to encourage you. But, just as an example, I have a friend who’s also 20 and gay, and had lots of sex, and he doesn’t do penetration at all.

Good! That’s the spirit! Keep up the good work!
Good luck :-)