Im officially a chump

Yep that’s what I feel like ive become. For the past 6 months ive been having issues lasting during sex. I remember 7-8 months ago I wouldn’t cum till I wanted to cum, but now im lucky to last 3 mins. Really, this is all I have been able to last lately. Im so pissed at myself that I have been dreading sex for the past 2 months because I get all pissed that I cant last long. Its not even fun anymore.

Today was another dreadful day with the wife. I lasted maybe 3 mins, if that. I could see the disappointment in her eyes. She tried everything to get my dick from going soft, but nothing worked. Hell, I could always keep it up after I cumed for round 2. Cant even please my wife anymore is what pisses me off the most about this.

What the hell could make me go from not cuming till I said so, to cant last more then 3 mins? Ive been here whining about this before in the last 3 months, but its bad now. Gosh, I still cant seem to understand how I could fuck forever, but up until 6 months ago I cant last. Keeps running in my mind. I keep thinking in my mind that she will end up finding another guy to plow the fuck out of her like I used to do.

Ive been edging for the last 1 1/2 months and that hasn’t helped me out one bit. Its weird, I can edge for up to 45 mins to an hour before I hit the point that im going to cum. Why cant I do that when fucking? Its like right when I put it in, I can feel my dick muscle flex and stay flexed. That never used to happen when I could last till I wanted to cum. Been fighting this issues for half a year and im still no closer to figuring it out.

I’ve been down this road myself, or at least it sounds exactly like what happened to me. A small percentage of people who do kegels train themselves to kegel involuntarily during sex, leading to premature ejaculation. I take it this "dick muscle flex" happens while you masturbate as well? I cut out kegels entirely and was able to push away the urge to kegel through short-burst reverse kegels. After awhile of practice, I was back to my regular self.

Here are some threads that may help:

Involuntary PC contractions and Premature Ejaculation
Involuntary Kegels and sensitive glans
Handling involuntary PC/BC contractions
Involuntary BC Contractions
Involuntary kegeling results in faster cumming. How to stop

I can last (within reason) as long as I want to. I find that if you focus on the idea of imminent ejaculation it worsens the urge to orgasm. I would try and make sure there’s zero contractions of your PC/BC muscle, don’t focus on cumming, and hell, stop for a second, go down on her, kiss her neck whilst you’re balls deep inside her; she won’t be complaining if it makes you go the distance.

Also: you’re not able to go again for round 2? I imagine after you prematurely ejaculate, you aren’t in high spirits/low anxiety, aroused and ready for more sex? I know I wouldn’t be.

Flash,

Can you last as long as you want (or, at least, longer than 3 minutes) with her stimulating you manually or orally?

If so, it sounds like a pussy-specific performance anxiety (P-SPA). (Don’t bother googling this.)

I would bet you just need one or two “victories” and you’ll be good to go.

Try morning sex! I’ve been recommending this to everyone lately. For me personally, I perform better all around: bigger, harder dick, longer stamina, I’d be taking a shower afterwards anyway, and it’s just a great way to start the day.

I usually don’t have problem lasting, actually my problems is somewhat opposite (complete inability to sometimes orgasm even after an hour of sex).

However, I once went through a phase where I had your problem. Once I came in less than 10 seconds (not intensively, but still).

I discovered that what made me premature was the fact that I was trying too hard not to cum too soon. Whenever I start sex slow, this problem returns.

If that doesn’t work - try condoms if you aren’t using them already. Maybe those extra-thick.

You could also try doing an intense stretching session right before sex. Nothing temporarily desensitizes me more than stretching.

Hope this somewhat helps. Wish you all the best…

Have you made significant gains during this period of three to four months? Maybe your wife is tighter?

I used to cum quick in the doggy position and the missionary so i changed to the cowgirl position and nowI can last for 20mins

Flashpoint, do you masturbate, or just edge? If you aren’t ejaculating from masturbation, but saving it up, it could be at least partially the reason. Try ejaculating earlier in the day before you spend time with the wife… just an idea.

I cum incredibly fast when the woman lays on her stomach, but last very long in most other positions. Try switching it up? I really hope this works out for you, dude.

If you do the dishes… she may even let you watch it.

Doubt she would ever stray, but if she ever did…..they both would be in the hammer mill.

Now the good news is I told her I wanted a rematch. She agreed and let me give the rematch yesterday and I won. I didn’t last as long as I used to but she got off before me, so that’s all that matters. I did a trick I read on the net where you hold your tongue to the roof of your mouth while taking slow deep breaths. Most likely that didn’t help, but I like to think it did.

Lately ive been thinking its a medical condition. How else would I go from lasting till I want to cum, to cuming in minutes?

Are you taking any supplements or medications that you weren’t before? I was taking quite a supplement cocktail for a while to maximize cum load and I swear it had a profound negative impact on my endurance.

No medications or supplements here. I’m going to try edging again, but this time I will edge the right way. Ive been thinking lately that it might be caused from clamping. Maybe her pussy feels tighter since my clamped dick can hold almost a 1/2” above normal size for the entire day. Either way im going to start edging the correct way.

I had a problem like this a while ago. I’ve never been the type who could last “until I wanted to”, and often got off a little early. But, I started dating this girl three years ago, and the first couple times we got down to it, I got off quickly. Eventually, I was so comfortable with her that I could last for quite some time, often wearing her out, getting her off on a regular basis. I’d finish, and feel “fresh”, and ready to go.

Then some things happened in the relationship that definitely shot my confidence a bit, and I didn’t feel as “impressed” with myself and my performance. Once that happened, the sex went down hill, and I started lasting shorter and shorter until it eventually got to the point where 5-10 minutes was a “victory”.

In my case, it was definitely a mental thing that set me back. Could that be the case with you, too?