In a dark place

What a choice name for your new avatar… ghostman!

The old “nip it in the bud” strategy can have the most dastardly effect much like pruning a branch only to see two more grow in its place.

Best to let the story run its course without much fuss and slowly ripen till the withering petals simply fall away and disappear without a trace.

Remember its not so much about manipulating the “story” in some vain attempt to make it more to your liking…

…but rather to discovering that being within which is aware of the story itself.

Before, during and after… what remains constant?

It is at once… so obvious and at the same time so elusive.

PM me with your skype details.

Stealthman

Marinera,

I’m always interested in your views, very factual based. This comment, “it lowers libido though, because it is estrogenic.”. Not to be rude, but you always have studies on hand, and I have a thirst for knowledge, I have not found this to be the case with me and would love to see the evidence of this in peer related or published studies.

Thanks.

Behemoth

I’ve arrived in holland, first night about to o to sleep. My thoughts have returned. I shouldn’t let this issue control me but it continues to do so. The left one is small, the urologist said it and my friend did. Around 14ml. The fact that it was retracted or the varicocele clearly had a part to play, I can’t enjoy my life with this ruining me, I will buy some Damiana this week, I want to integrate these improvements into my life but they consume it.

If all else fails, il save for the implant , I feel now only a a physical change will help me, I’m mentally too far gone. I pray too god every night this stigma will not be with me the next day. I thought I was seeing improvements but back to square 1.

The replies to this will be enough to get me through the day , then back to the dark

Ahh phalloboards wa a bad idea to gom , an improvement in my mentality plus improvemts in penis and testicles should help

Tough love ghostman. Sorry mate… but… as I’ve already said, I have different sized testicles and a varicocele for 30 years and they really are not a problem. The problems in my life/relationship at the moment make me understand how puny and pathetic those problems are. Perhaps when you actually have something worth worrying about you will forget your perceived problems. I hope that doesn’t happen, but it is a forlorn hope… it will. Then you will wonder what the f**k you were worrying about. That is fact. You only worry about inconsequential things when you have nothing better to worry about. Worry is the human condition. Neither of us has to walk 30 miles a day to find water that won’t poison our kids.

I hope you enjoy your time in Holland. And that it teaches you a lot about life and what is important. Sleep well.

Actually it is the other way around, it raises libido because anti-estrogenic (aromatase inhibitor, more specificaly). It’s effects are pretty mild I think, did you find anything noticeable? Do you drink it or smoke? How old are you?

Edit:

I’m late forties, and aromatase inhibitor is why I take it, the effects are mild but it is effective when teamed with other synergistic herbs, I was taking it as tea but I find the capsules better, a small lift in Libido, but more of a harder erection and larger balls, not by a great deal but enough to notice. I did put my girlfriend on it (with her full knowledge as to why,it’s an aphrodisiac for girls) and it has increased her libido by about 25 %. It’s not an overnight thing, the same as many herbs, but it does work for me and remains in my regime along with the others that I have found to work well.

A little bit here, a little bit there, it all adds up in the end

Fire goat your smaller testicle is still probably big though, I’m just annoyed that I coul of done something. Is there a treatment for a retractable testicle for when I was younger? I fell ashamed for letting this ruin my life but I just can’t to get off this hole, any advice appreciated.

Hey guys:

Through this discussion, nothing has been said about the way to take measurements. I am sure that on any old day with normal transient temp., I will measure one quarter to one half an inch larger than if I were to measure length properly. That is, if I were to take a hot sitz bath so that the scrotum skin is stretched out and thin, only then could I accurately measure. With skin in that condition you should pull the skin tightly around the testicle transversely and longitudinally and measure length from the point where the vas deferens attaches, to the top of the other end. I am sure that the people reporting 2’ will be likely see an inch and a half or less. I took my measure with a steel caliper (ouch! be careful).

Reading through some of my old messages shows me how much anxiety was skewing my perception of myself. I have came along way in dealing with these feelings of fear. I have found the best tactic to adopt is just to be open to any thought that arises. If anyone needs any assistance in this area I would be happy to help, it’s one of the biggest hurdles I’ve ever had to overcome

On another note i contacted a few urologists they told me increase in the affected testicle from the varicocele isn’t possible after adolescent through embolization. However I have seen numerous accounts on the internet claiming the reverse of testicular atrophy after surgery in adults. I was wondering if anyone could shine a light on this, I’m confused.

Also from my ultrasound, the varicocele was 0.33cm, is that subclinic or grade 1? I’m surprised a varicocele that small could cause atrophy.

Thanks

I think first of all firegoat is absolutely right and you need to reread his posts.

Your penis and your testicles are fine, do yourself a favor. Do a search for penis’s on the internet. They ALLLLLL look different, same as nuts.

It sounds like you’re deflecting your anxiety onto your penis, because you feel like you can control it. I strongly suggest therapy, and a psychiatrist who’s willing to reevaluate your medication.

I myself have anxiety issues and I understand some of where you’re coming from, first things first. You need to continue to speak to yourself.. consciously at first.. in a positive voice.

Example:

” My dick and nuts are weird” - This is what you’re saying to yourself

” Thats bullshit. My penis is a great size and my nuts are as great as any other guys. These things vary. Im not just average, im better than average. Through PE I can become even better but I love myself and I am fine right now. Shut the fuck up with that. ” - this is the kind of thing you need to say out loud to yourself.

Yes, out loud. Start standing up for yourself.

Fake it until you make it, and YOU WILL.

Thanks gambit for your input, but I have found that fighting with my fear has done nothing but make my anxiety worse.

The only true way I have made an improvement is being with ok with my fear and accepting it as part of me.

I agree, firegoat’s advice on this post has been second to none, though I’m still convinced the varicocele stunted the development of my testicle. Its too much of a coincidence not to be.

I just guess I have to accept it as one of many life’s challenges thrown at me

I had my varicocele treated this month with an embolisation, with it in the following days I had an increase in libido/ erection quality which I was ecstatic about.

In the following weeks my night erections and libido had diminished to nothing as like before. I think this can only be due to the coil migrating or a new medication I’m taking (lamsil tablets) having an effect.

I will discuss with my GP this week but from my past experiences this will reap no reward. This leads me to enquire about the online purchase of clomid, does anyone have a reputable source I can buy from online ?

From this thread, you can see I had some depressive/anxiety issues before, I believe the libido issue now is surely hormonal rather than anything mental as I’m generally as relaxed as I could possibly be right now. The lack of night/morning wood suggest hormonal.

ghostman.

Nobody will find a solution for you mate. We can only pet you in the back, which I agree sometimes may be necessary and useful.

You have to solve your issues alone. You and only you will find your way. You are kind of lost now but we all are lost in some point of our lives. It’s perfectly normal.

What do you like to do? I mean really like to. Do it and try taking it to another level.Once you are done, do something else and take it to another level.Then brag about it.With confidence.

Mama and papa wont be of any good help. Friends won’t be of any good help. Any help they are willing to give you must use it not rely on it. You will do this by yourself.

You are in a strange place mate. An island. Just don’t kick the boat away. Explore it, understand it and then go back to the boat and get the hell out of there.The natives won’t be friendly but you will learn a lot of things.

All men went there in certain points of their lives. Just don’t kick the fucking boat away.

When you are done exploring you will be the man you are destined to be from the getgo. Be happy that it happened to you in a very young age. You’ll manage.

And another thing. Stop the fucking medication. Won’t do you any good. Just don’t do it cold turkey cause it’s dangerous. Ask your doc.

After solving what’s eating you, your EQ will be sky high, morning wood will be daily and of course you won’t give a fuck about your testicle size.

What’s eating you? You allready know it. Just spill your guts out to yourself and anyone else who needs to hear it. You know the answer. You know it. It’s there.

Deal with it.

You are stronger than you think you are. We all are.

By the way it’s gonna get worse before it gets better. Play it right and it will get better faster. Play it excellent and it will dissapear from your life completely.

I agree with what bill has said above. And learn to love your penis! It’s the only one you have and it’s a good size too!