Mental Anguish

Hey guys, I have posted here occasionally before but I wanted to talk about a non PE related problem that I think many here could relate to. I would really appreciate if some could read this admittedly long post and give their honest opinion about how they would react in my situation.

Anyway here goes, I had good size in the past (over 7.5 BP with proportional girth) but didn’t even use it that much. I have done a few jelqs and stuff which worked a little bit. I was on and off though but at my lowest with no PE and not cementing gains I was still over 7 inches NBP and 5.5 inches in girth which was distributed pretty much exactly evenly throughout. Not huge, but enough for me to be content.

However, a little while ago, I suffered an erectile dysfunction that caused scar tissue, loss of sensation, and a loss of girth mainly. I think my girth was still 5.5 at the base but as low as a little under 5 in some places with an overall average of maybe 5.25 if I was lucky. But my glans barely filled up with blood and many girls seemed to feel I was in the average range. Before, I got many more ‘big dick’ reactions. I even had my current girlfriend tell me about guys who she said were equal, one of whom I know cannot be bigger than me (and are in fact probably a little smaller than me when I’m healthy) and say they were the biggest she had seen etc.and that I have a ‘medium sized penis.’ Another time she said my penis was long but average thickness. The reason I know this is while I am not friends with these guys per se, I had been in high school with one of them and double teamed a couple girls with them. Just to clear that up and not to give the wrong impression.

I recently went to the doctor who diagnosed my ED (it was not a PE related cause by the way) and gave me Cialis and a medicine to dissolve scar tissue. While this medicine does not always work, my case was on the low end apparently and he had confidence it would work.. I have already noticed an increase in fullness, with the 5.5 girth taking up more of the overall penis size. I have confidence that things will work out in a few months and be back to normal. At least, this is what the urologist seems to believe. (By the way, I had to visit several urologists to fins the right one who could help me. If anyone needs a urologist recommendation who lives in the Northeast I would be glad to help.) My girlfriend has called me huge, big etc and definitely noticed the difference. She doesn’t seem to care that much though and I know it is more about me feeling ‘back to normal’ and the increased sensation I will get.

Here goes the crux of my post: The problem for me is the mental aspect of it. Even as I’m increasing fullness and feeling as I’m healing, I feel this intense frustration. Frustration that girls have seen my penis like this and there might be rumors about me. Not that my dick was ever small, but say I get my dick back to normal and girls I sleep with claim I have a big dick. (Not sure how long I’ll be in a monogamous relationship and I’m only 21. I do believe I’ll have sex with many more girls.) Maybe the girls who saw my dick when it was damaged will be disbelieving. I know, it’s like ‘who cares?’ but I can’t get it out of my head. I feel like even if I’m totally back to normal I have to ‘prove myself again’. I wonder if any here can relate to this. Since I see people so happy with PEing to larger sizes; but what about all the girls that saw you at lower sizes? Does this bother you sometimes once you have the big dick. I know I need to learn to be happy and be appreciative my ED seems to be able to be fixed. It’s just this debilitating mental aspect that I am suffering with.

As for PE, while it was not the cause of the ED, I don’t think I will be doing it at least for awhile.I will just be so happy when my penis is totally back to normal.

Let me just preface by saying I’d be extremely happy to have your size, and I’d guess that a lot of girls would consider that healthy size big. As far as girls having seen your dick in it’s smaller state, I wouldn’t worry too much about that. I’m very close in age, 22, and I’ve been with a few girls both pre PE and recently. Two I’ve been with pretty consistently throughout the process, and both of them swear up and down that my dick still must be growing. With a few others though, the gap in time was longer, so they had me pre PE and then again after PEing for quite some time. One of these girls in particular had called me smallish before PE, and after sleeping with me recently, she changed her tune. So I suppose what I’m trying to say is that girls do notice, so your fears may be somewhat justified.

On the other hand, however, I find that very few girls will gossip about a guy’s dick size unless it’s abnormally large or abnormally small. This may mean that any girl you slept with in your smaller state would be unlikely to comment on your dick size, and also would likely not disbelieve any girl who talks about your dick being large. Either way, girls tend to gossip more about the way THEY feel or felt during sex rather than the specific details of the guy, at least in my opinion.

It sounds like you already know this but it’s not worth worrying about at all, and good luck with the ED and your return to normal size.

Don’t worry about the rumors man. Seriously, those times when you were recovering from a health related issue means you were not at your best. Don’t beat yourself up over this. A lot of people ask the “why me?” question when bad things happen to them. Don’t let this be a determining factor in your life. Take what you have and cherish every minute of it. You’re back to being you again (or soon to be), a new you so to speak!

And if people do have any pre-conceived notion about the size of your penis, look them dead in the eye and tell them who you really are.

Learn from the past but don’t dwell on it.

Good luck mate.

Is it that bad to prove yourself again? If any girls do spread rumors about your dick when it was damaged then just fuck the shit out of them when you’re fully back to 100% healthy and they will turn to believers lol..

Or just tell them that they were the problem and didn’t make you horny enough to be 100% hard..

I wouldn’t worry bro ‘cause you got other girls to verify your size and back you up.

Goodluck

Okay guys, thanks for the positive encouragement. I think I need to get over my obsessive BS and just be glad I’m getting back to normal. Any guys with increases care to say how they feel? Does it bother you people saw you at a smaller size or not really?