Small guy help

I hope so and best of luck to you.

Best of luck to you and good gains :)

There are guys here of every size who have had it go bad for them.

Sex isn’t all about your size. If it is something you are anxious about, go slow with this girl. If she really is your friend she won’t divulge your secrets.

There’s no harm in having sex whatever your size if it is with someone you trust and who respects you.

Don’t push an opportunity away simply because of your insecurity: feel the fear and do it anyway.

What’s the worst that can happen: she’ll say you’re small? From the sound of it this is not news to you. So what?

I had a girlfriend who swore by a guy she’d been with prior to me. She said he was really small, (about 4”) but she’d had some of the best sex she’d ever had in her life with him. Suddenly having a bigger dick than him wasn’t important at all.

What are the possibilities for it to be great between you?

I second the motion that you pay her close attention, in bed and out, and show her real consideration. It’s worth its weight in gold in terms of how she feels about you.

Turning someone on is rarely just a matter of taking off your clothes.

Be her lover… that she won’t forget soon.

Sandudan,

I recommend that you not say anything like the above to your woman. Similarly, I recommend that you don’t tell her that you are insecure about your size. Confidence is the most important attribute that attracts women to men. Even if you don’t currently feel confident in that area, act as if you are confident. In time, this kind of behavior will help greatly to build real confidence! In short, don’t make an issue about your size; if you do so, it will then become an issue for her.

There is a real life story circulating here at Thunder’s about a guy who has a small dick but who has no insecurities about it. According to the story, a woman once said to him, “Who do you think you are going to please with that thing?” His response was classic: “I’m going to please myself!” I know it’s much easier to say this than to apply such advice, but your primary goal should be to become indifferent to what women (or other men) think about your size. Yes, it’s good to want a bigger dick. And, if you apply yourself to PE, you will soon have one! But other people’s opinions don’t matter. Really. Some women crave big cocks; other women don’t care. You can’t do anything about that. If you have confidence (or at least if you act like you have confidence), and if you are a good lover, what women are going to say is, “Wow, that Sandudan is a great lay!” That’s what they said about the guy in the above story.

Therefore, if this woman or any other woman ever says anything about your size, you should respond in such a way as to project complete confidence. Act surprised; be a little arrogant, even. Convey the attitude that you know you’re a great lover and that you don’t give a damn about what she thinks of you. It’s a psychological game. It’s just like in sales: talk something up and make it seem hard to get, and, all of a sudden, everybody wants it! Play something down and make it seem like nobody wants it, and, lo and behold, no one will want it! Be the man!

Also, as others have stressed here, learn to be a great lover. Learn to use your tongue and your fingers, as well as your cock. Learn how a woman’s body works. More importantly, learn how a woman’s mind and emotions work! If you learn how to turn a woman on and how to please her, you will be a stud! What do women most want from a lover? Top of the list is this: unselfishness! You have to care about her experience. To be very specific, you have to learn how to make her cum. You also have to be patient. Next in line would be having a hard erection and being able to last. Work on all these things as well as on making your dick bigger. But above all, project confidence!

I’m a little bit split between what Gut Scrambler and motivated recommend.

There are strengths to both approaches. I think you’ll have to determine what will be best for your situation.

Generally speaking confidence is a really good trait to have when dealing with the opposite sex. Hell, it’s good in general for dealing with people in life. And what motivated is saying is to a large extent true. So as you project yourself to the world so shall you be. If she’s nervous about having sex your confidence could be the strength she relies on. And it is also true that by drawing attention to the size of your dick you could potentially create an issue for her that she might otherwise be oblivious to.
You aren’t deformed, you aren’t The Elephant Man, why portray yourself that way?

However, Gut Scrambler’s approach is also valid; particularly as you already know this girl and have some sort of close friendship with her. By being honest and vulnerably sharing your secrets with her you are taking her deep into another kind of confidence: personal confidence (from the word confide). This can be deeply touching and if you were to confide all this and then kiss her deeply - well, she could fall in love with you all the more. If she’s a virgin too or is nervous it might just be a relief to her to know that you are feeling similarly. Women also relate to feeling inadequate in their bodies. You could really score points with her emotionally.

Tough call.

You know your girl. What do you think?

Mr. Happy just said what I would say here, for the most part.

In general, when you aren’t yet extremely intimate, and you aren’t sure how intimate things will get, unflappable confidence is the way to go. Nothing to lose that route, and you can always open up later if things do get more intense and you don’t want to have to hide any part of yourself from her.

But, if you’re already really close with her, and you want a totally transparent relationship, physically, emotionally, and otherwise, then you should disclose insecurities of that sort, and she ought to reciprocate.

Well said Para.

And if she feels the same bond she most likely will reciprocate.

You know her. What do you think?

Motivated, how dare you disagree with me! Just kidding :p .

I’m way too lazy, however, if you stumble across any of my old posts on this type of situation you will see how I always strongly advise that you never make a big deal of it and proceed with confidence.

Hmmm, why did I change my point of view with this situation? Well, two reasons:

1. Mr. Happy nailed it on the head. You already have a close friendship with her. If she is truly a close friend, she already has a good idea of who you are. Close friends let their guard down with each other. It shows trust and respect for one another and as Mr. Happy puts it, “touching”. A good rule of thumb to stick by is “Never try to be somebody you are not with a close friend. Eventually the true you will come out.”

2. He is a virgin. Who was totally confident the first time they had sex? Should we take a poll? Let’s see, this guy is ready to have sex for the first time and on his plate he has performance anxiety, anatomy anxiety, and the fear of losing a good friendship.

I went against what I normally believe because this is a more unique situation, not black and white. This guy is a virgin, sex will most likely be a little akward until he develops the skills to become a good lover. How does he become a good lover? YOU COMMUNICATE! When he finally develops the proper skills, then I believe he can strut his unit around no matter what it’s size. Opening up before the act is going to open many channels for them to communicate and give him one less thing to obsess about on his way to studliness.

:)

Also well said.

The Scrambler is proving to be a man of rare perception. And communication is the key. Very true. Good point. I wish I had made it.

:thumbs:

Hey, my name in bold print. I like it! Thanks for the compliment :) .

I believe you can overthink something like this. Make it happen, worry about the (unlikely) reprocussions later. The objective here is to get laid and pop that cherry. That much WILL happen and instantly boost your overall confidence. I’ve never of a girl running at the sight of a small penis - Sometimes they don’t come running back, but who cares? The mission’s been accomplished.

As for telling the world, it’s almost always after a couple break up and results of some other factor in the relationship. But it sounds to me like the relationship is strong on most other levels, so that buys time to work on the trout. Trick would be to keep the girl until SHE notes an improvement in size. Later if you break up, what in the hell is she going to say then? It *was* tiny?

Actually, I agree with what Mr Happy and PG and GS (in his second post) are saying. Only, I would reserve that kind of openness for a time after the sexual interactions with this woman have developed somewhat. I simply wouldn’t make an issue of it now, as this very well might create a theme for the sexual part of your relationship with her—and, more importantly, for your sexual relationships with women generally, given that this is your first time!

If size proves to be an issue for her, you can discuss it more openly after your sexual relationship with her matures a bit. Otherwise, my advice is leave it alone. There is no harm in expressing to her (later, not now) that you’d like to be bigger and that sometimes you feel insecure about not being bigger. But you can do this in a way that is coming from acceptance of who you are, and indeed from an overriding confidence!

Conversely, if you weaken yourself before her over this issue, displaying to her a deep inadequacy, then, I’m sorry to say, in 99.99999% of cases, this is how she will come to see you. I didn’t invent the rules; that’s just the way it is. In other words, you can be open about your insecurities; just don’t indulge them and treat them as the defining feature of who you are with her. If you create that sort of negative narrative, it will affect the way she views you. It will also affect the way you view yourself!

I guess that one of the things I’m trying to say is this: It is possible to project confidence (and to be confident) and also to be open about insecurities. There is no contradiction here, as human psychology is complex. Become a great lover; walk the walk and talk the talk. She will view you as the man. Then, with this attitude as dominant, it is perfectly okay to be human and show that you have insecurities.

O shit, just go get laid!!! :)

There’s a name for a girl like that…

Fuckin’ Ho!

I have some personal experience with this. I had dated this girl for a couple of months and things were going really well, but we had not done anything really sexual except for some heavy kissing and fondling. One night we were fooling around on the couch and she asked me why I had not “tried anything yet.” I felt comfortable enough with her to tell her about my insecurity in the size department.

We had a great talk about it and afterwards my insecurity about my size was somewhat gone. We had mind blowing sex, and she said all the right things to fill me with confidence. We got married a year later.

I think all relationships are built on complete honesty and wide open communication. Hmmm…maybe I should tell her about my PE!

Sandudan,

now you know what’s good for you. Act accordingly.