The Thinker's Ultimate Self High-Five Thread

Ummmm, it occurs to me that I haven’t been giving myself enough credit around here lately.. So I’m going to inject my customary LEADERSHIP into this forum and ask an important question that needs to be asked.. :P

Let me first say that me, myself, and I do have a rather BIG penis.. Well maybe not the biggest, at 2.5 to 3”.. But certainly big enough for most people’s needs.. Yours Truly is also a big believer in Quality > Quantity, and Quality (besides Ratings) is what my penis delivers.. In spades.. And I do mean it is a very SHAPELY penis.. Sometimes when yours truly sees it in the mirror he can spend up to 45 minutes admiring it.. Were you to catch sight of it in the SAUNA it would certainly merit a second look.. Assuming you were to play for that team, if you see what the Thinker is thinking here.. :P

With that in mind, I need to ask the PEOPLE(TM) the following.. Hypothetically speaking, if a fellow were looking to pleasure himself in a certain oral way.. Without breaking his neck that is.. How long do you think is long enough, and how long me, myself and I would need to perform the Newbie Routine to achieve the required length? Keep in mind that yours truly is rather limber & flexible, being of the inclination to indulge in several dozen self high-fives a day..

The reason Yours Truly asks is, having recently re-watched the movie Clerks.. A sleeper that was not a box office draw but I found a compelling, dark and gritty look at the life of a convenience store clerk.. With a loaded cast including Brian O’Halloran, Jeff Anderson, and a guy by the name of Al Berkowitz.. Which looks especially good on my new Panny PLASMA in GLORIOUS 1080i I might add.. Especially with a mirror mounted above the display.. But I digress. This film features a rather tragic and dark character who found himself with a broken neck after an apparently successful attempt at the self-pleasure alluded to above.. So if me, myself and I were to follow this route, and bearing in mind that Yours Truly would hate to deprive this forum of a future Hall Of Famer, what do the PEOPLE(TM) think would be the optimal length for such an undertaking?

Isnt that the Kurt Angle motto from wrestling?

Depends on how well you ::wiggle:: I guess.

Hmmmm….nip this one in the bud, or toy around for while?

Cucumber King, every time I see your avatar it cracks me up. Best avatar in my opinion. Anyway, yours truly has an idea where this thread might end up.

Thanks man.

You have to be really long to perform self-felacio, maybe 12 inches. It’s really hard to give yourself head because your lowermost ribs get in the way. That isn’t to say that it can’t be done. You have to be extremely limber and/or have an extremely long unit. If you are able to manage to pull this feat, Thinker, then you will be a god among many men.

I one licked it does that count ;)

In other words, how long does your wang have to be before you can suck yourself off?

Kinsey said only 1% of guys can self-fellate. If you’re fairly flexible then you can train yourself to do it by going down a little lower each night. I did this a while back and I’m only about 5.5” erect. But then I lost interest. It’s overrated, you see. ;)

At your length, I’d say it would be very hard. Sorry if I burst your…uh, boner, by saying that.

hahaha, that’s the second best inside joke here on thunders! hahaha

The best is when someone told aristocane to shave his pubes to
make his dick look bigger hahahaha

About the selfsucking thing. Sit like a banana shape with your back all the day by the computer.

It’s easier if your short. And have a fairly long dick. Being seated and grabbing the bottom of

chair is the easiest way to have control of the situation.

Yes and no.

Thinker - INTELLIGENCE. INTENSITY. INTEGRITY.

Kurt Angle - Intensity, Integrity and Intelligence.

Sounds fun but I don’t have a big one :( dang it

Then you just have to work for it…

The criteria that I wrote where to be able to do it
without having to train yourself :)

Ummmm, comandante.. I THINK you may be implying an incestuous relationship between Yours Truly and “Ex Poster” GM/Pinhead.. While Yours Truly admits a certain superficial RESEMBLANCE.. In that quasi-martyr GM/Pinhead appears to be responsible for the most popular thread to have graced these boards in recent times.. And Yours Truly plans to achieve a similar level of POPULARITY.. Rest assured that he/she/they and me, myself and I are otherwise unrelated. While quasi-martyr GM/Pinhead coveted GAINS, Yours Truly primarily covets RATINGS.. Think about it! :P