Our boys

Dear fellow PEers,

I would like to seek input on another topic, that I am sure many of you have been thinking before.

I have a boy, seven years old, who is a strong and healthy little guy, but it looks that his penis is shorter than usual, at least to his age group, and compared to his brother’s. I am concerned about this, I rather not have him go through some of the experiences I had when I was a teenager (having been ridiculed in the locker room in school, for example), but I am unsure what to do, if anything.

My personal experience is that penis size as a child does not necessarily translates to penis size as an adult. For example, I definitely remember being bigger than my brother when we were children, but while my brother as an adult seems to be exactly average (in terms of flaccid length), I remained much shorter.

Anyway, I read on some sites, that in certain cultures, some of them arabic and japanese if I remember correctly, young boys used to have their penis lengthened by some weight, similar to what the ’ hanger’s forum is about, but that some of these boys suffered life long impotence, probably because of excess weight.

Now the last thing I want to do is to hurt the little guy, but I was thinking that a very very cautious “stretching” might benefit him. Does anybody have any thought on this, or any experience as a dad. Does any on this forum, who himself is/was below average, can tell me how their boys turned out after growing up?

I hope I have not offended anybody with this topic, but I feel that as a dad it’s my responsibility to help my children any way I can to become a happy and healthy adult.

Hi Raffis,

My advice to you would be to help your son develop into an emotionaly well balanced individual who is able to deal with the possible petty attacks from his peers because of an smaller then average flacid penis size, something that can change dramatically in his early teen years so right now there is no way of telling if he will ever have to face such petty attacks, as a teen in a way that is beneficial to his overal well being by not taking things personally but instead by remaining detached. Just make him realize when he’s a teen that life doesn’t resolve around once own penis size. And that those who make fun of others because they happen to have a bigger dick then the one they are antagonizing are simply making a big jackass out of themselves.

If you start some form of penis enlargement now while he is still just seven years old, you might set him up for a serious obsession over his own penis size.

And if it turned out that as an early teen his penis size is below average then you can always tell him all about jelqing and stretching and hanging and support him in his own penis enlargement endeavour…:)

This is only my opinion so be it. But I think that your going to make him worry about his penis size & then hes really going to have a complex.

If his Dad is so concerned about his size hes going to think theres something wrong with him.

Your his role model. I think you should encourage him that hes the best in your eyes & any thing he worries about help him through it.

I dont think fathers & mothers used to talk to their children enough about sexuality. If the did there might not be so many problems.with it today.

Mostly when I was a girl it was an embarasing subject. My mother talked to me once about sex & I didnt have the faintest idea what she was talking about.

Your son may have all kinds of things happen in growing up that he really needs encouragement & advice on. I think you should start right now making a line of communication open with him. I think if he knows he can always come to you then you can help him deal with & solve anything.

If you start worring about if hes flawed he will think he is.

You cant shelter him from lifes ups & downs. What you can do is teach him how to handle the ups & downs & be self reliant. Thats one of the best thing you will ever give him is confidence to face the world.

Best of Luck!!

Diamond, while I agree that that’s excelent advice, you have to understand the sheer agony that most western males endure based upon the penis size mystique. Women can relate in some ways by virtue of the oft-experienced breast anxiety, but it’s different - so different. Breasts are not functional in sexual activity.

I’m an intelligent man. I am a philosopher - I’ve read Stendahl and Ariosto. I am in touch with my emotions. I am realistic and reasonable. I am not driven by biological urges. I have clawed and scratched my way towards enlightenment my whole life.

Yet STILL the penis size bit haunts me. Why? Western pop culture and the gender issues that have evolved here. I know the majority of most women don’t care about it, but penis size is such a powerful icon that I can’t fully shake it. Men DO care about it. It needs not be an obsession, but it’s still lurking around. It affects their basic confidence. I’ve actually started out above average, but been convinced throughout most of my life that I was small because of the dis-reality that pop culture gives us and that we (men and women) gobble up. Believe it or not, it matters. Intellect and understanding can’t seem to probe the primordial gut feelings we have when comparing ourselves against the “norm”.

To add to this, there are many women out there who recognize and exploit this weakness. There exist prideful people who only experience happiness when enacting cruel tyrannies on others as a demonstration of their power. Sad, but true.

Anytime a man fails, in any way, to satisfy a woman (and yes, pop culture has become a performance, goal-based activity), there’s a little part of him that wonders if a larger penis wouldn’t have done the trick. It’s only a short jump to wondering whether her previous men were better endowed, which then leads to the certainty that she’s wistfully pining away for the “good old days”. Many women’s fantasies involve symbolically huge penises. Men simply can’t handle the idea that their women fantasize about something that they cannot provide. It’s part of being a man.

We all try as much as possible to transcend our own biological follies, but not Intellect, education, reason, nor emotional gymnastics can alter certain fundamentals of our soul. Again, sad, but true.

As a single example, look at the reports on this board. Men have grown by 1 inch and are suddenly swaggering with confidence. I can assure you, that confidence, in at least some minor manner, has an effect on nearly every aspect of their lives.

You’re certainly not alone Raffis. I don’t even have kids, but I’ve considered this too. I thought to myself “Holy Frijoles! If I’d known about this when I was 14, when my body was still growing and most receptive to PE, and my self-concept was most impressionable… I’d have avoided not a few of the struggles that ensued (and pursued) later in life”. I would certainly love to save my son the hassle if I ever produce one.

But… how to do it? We aren’t so liberal as the ancient arabs here in the USA it seems; if you simply showed him, I think you’d run a huge risk of being found guilty of some sexual perversion and sent to prison despite your son’s pleas. Not only that, but I’m not sure that the American family is ready for that level of bonding… I think the only thing to do would be to “plant” some information somewhere and at the same time develop a very open relationship with your children. Perhaps then a son may strike out on his own or even voice his concerns to his father later on… you never know. Whatever the case, from an educational point of view, the boy isn’t going to care until it’s important to him - so what’s important is to lay the groundwork for that eventuality.

But still, none of it matters a squat if the kid turns out shallow and emotionally stunted. Parenthood is a daunting endeavor.

By the way, I didn’t intend for that to sound adversarial at all. Just came out that way for some reason. I am in complete agreement with the previous posters as well.

I don’t think you should be worried at this stage in your young sons life. After all he is still growing and has a long way to go.

I would suggest that you do not make any comments or suggestions as to the size of his equipment.
He’s too young to understand fully and could give him a complex.

By all means talk to him about sex and all its implications - this may not be as easy as it sounds.
Maybe it would be adviseable to get some sex education books from a school or sex therapist to help.

We as children learnt everything from our peers and of course from other children, right or wrong.

As long as your son looks to you for guidence and is open with you and you are always there to give him the guidence, I wouldn’t be concerned at this point in time.

Wait until he is in his late teens - then perhaps some education on PE may be worth considering.

This is just my personal view, others may think differently.

You didnt sound adversile you sounded paranoid most of your post Untill the end & you said exactly in so many words what I had posted minus the parinoid part.

When you guys were growing up there was no PE Forums & no hope of gaining a larger penis. You probably didnt have anyone to talk to about it either but the kids you were around. Lets face it in school kids are mean & pick on other kids not realizing how it can devastate you forever.

Thank goodness its changed & there are alternatives. Also kids are smarter & most parents can be very open with there children. So there dosnt have to be all the problems there were over your penis being not up to par in your eyes.

It could still happen if some parents dont support & inform there children. But the way to change history is to change the future.

Now for your other statement about womens breast not being functional in sexual activity. Thats not true.

Women now days have alternatives to actually have breasts if they werent blessed with them.

You dont think that women havnt stressed over not having big tits when men oogle women that do? And men are just as cruel about letting you know they like a woman to have breasts as you say women are about men not being adequate.

Lets be fair now. To you womens feeling may not count as much as yours. But in reality they do count just as much.

Lets put it this way!

To me men are more than just their penisis! So your not JUST a DICK to me! :wave:

raffis

From the perspective of someone working in the field of research…and psychiatry….DO NOT discuss your son’s penis size with him at his age. He hasn’t even hit puberty yet. Seven is way to young.

NOPE…that conversation should happen when he is at least 15 years old, and only if he expresses dissatisfaction. When he is old enough (after puberty, please) you don’t even need to talk about it, let him “accidently” find PE material in the home or on the computer.

Raffis,

All of my children have been told, but they are 19, 22, and 25. Seven is much much to young for this sort of thing. Let him be a little kid, he will grow and so will his penis. Once he gets to be in his mid teens, 15 and up, then talk about it, but not now.

I agree with what Diamond said, be open in communication about sex and sexuality. However, like she stated, if you convey the message that there is something wrong with him, he will then beleive it. He has a lot of time to become a healthy happy well adjusted adult, and where your main responsiblity lays right now is fostering a good self esteem in him. Accepting him as he is, not how you want him to be. Many parents have fallen into the trap that their kids are going do this or that or the other thing because they never got to. When he starts asking questions, then it is time for answers, not now.

Again, sunshine is 100% dead on. Thanks for your input. You posted an adult comment for all of us to take to heart!

Why pass on obsessions and insecurities at all?

Many thanks for all of your thoughtful comments!

I have two boys - 10 and 12. They are definately not created equal, at least in the flaccid state. The oldest seems to have taken after his dad, but I actually haven’t seen him naked for a couple of years. I absolutely wouldn’t consider saying anything about PE until they they are at least 18-20. To do so would just give them the “complex”. I may never unless they somehow hint they are embarrassed about their size. If they do they may just find a printout on jelqing in their stuff - i dunno. Haven’t had the sex talk with the oldest yet either.

Raffis et al,

The greatest gift that a father can give to his son is a true sense of confidence and belief in himself as a man. Acknowledging your son for who he is, encouraging the development of his innate talents, accepting his frailties and loving him without condition are all part of what can make a well-rounded, healthy and constructive human being and citizen of the world. As the youngest of three sons, I was fortunate to have had a father who lived by this advice that I share with you now.

In the grand scheme of things, we are ultimately judged by the “quality” of our character rather than the “quantity” of our penis. So if ever the concern should arise, leave any potential penis size concerns to him to be handled as an adult. The information to change our genetic genital template, as we now know, is readily available if ever needed or desired. After all, we found these PE sites, didn’t we?

Take care,

Peforeal

I agree with those who have said “let it be for now.”

It’s too easy to give a kid a concern he wouldn’t have had were it not brought to the fore by an adult.

And by his age 16 - 18, if you haven’t reached a level of communication where this could be discussed comfortably between the two of you, then you have not kept all the sexual-discussion doors open all the way, along the way.

And maybe by 16 - 18, he’ll already have a dick that will be the envy of his peers.