Help me get through this mental block please... Short story
28 years old, otherwise healthy male. Had non gonococcal urethritis in 2019 - green discharge and burning when peeing (enough pain to make you hunch over). I think the infection left some scar tissue and in the months following, so to get some size back I ended up buying a Bathmate X30 without the hand pump (the one you have to forcefully push into your pelvic area to create suction).
Anyways, I overdid it with the Bathmate and took about a year or two for it to heal. No problem. Then, just as everything was about better I got back into a routine, things were feeling good, and I used an air pump at 3hg. I was in the pump and all of the sudden felt a very strong “pressure” build up in the shaft of the penis that subconsciously made me react by pinching the pump to let the air out, which I think forced more blood into my manhood. I then used my thumb to sort of pry open the opening of the pump next to my shaft and slid him out with some force. It was uncomfortable, and a response to something suddenly uncomfortable. My mind sort of just went into that survival mode and that was what I did in the moment. My manhood looked fine and there was no serious pain.
That said, I can get an erection, have morning wood sometimes, but things are different. Here’s how:
What I experience:
- when waking up with a morning erection, he goes up and to the left. I used to always be a right side hanger when erect (no curvature in the shaft, I’m talking about it starting at the base). It feels uncomfortable and tight, and when I pee, I feel a small numbness almost and it requires a good bit of effort to get the pee out, but my urine stream is very strong.
- when taking at home UTI tests, my urine shows a trace of leukocytes and microalbumin being a bit high. Whenever I get tested in the uro’s office, or any office, it comes up negative with everything (and I’ve been tested for everything).
- no erections without physical stimulation. No random erections during the day. Low libido with rare urge to masturbate (and when I do, the days following are ones with no morning wood, and hard flaccid).
- serious premature ejaculation (I’m talking 10-15 seconds) if I abstain from sex / masturbation for a while and don’t smoke weed.
- dull ache in pelvic area after ejaculating - especially if its been a while.
- never able to go 2 rounds anymore with my girl.
What I’ve done:
- seen urologists. They believe it is a slightly inflamed prostate and that my pelvic floor is unbalanced.
- seen a pelvic floor PT. She inserted her fingers into my forbidden spot and would put pressure on different areas of my rectal canal. It definitely got my breathing under control but was not a permanent cure.
- Tried treatment as if I had an STD (somehow undetected). This actually worked well the first time I tried it (Shot of Rocephin and a week long course of Doxycycline - both antibiotics/first line treatments against “mainstream” STDs).
I’ve tried almost everything else as well (stretches, Therawand, DMSO/iodine, you name it, I’ve probably tried it… including therapy)
Things that have worked, but are never permanent:
- abstinence, but comes back after I ejaculate.
- antibiotics as listed above (if no infection, maybe the drugs are having an anti-inflammatory effect on the reproductive makeup and/or parasympathetic/sympathetic nervous system?)
Overall, my guy is just always tight and it’s making me think I’m not “working” right as a man - as if something is off. When he’s flaccid he just looks sucked in and unhappy. He’s not hanging freely and I just don’t know what to do. I can’t help but spend the majority of my days thinking about this and why I couldn’t have just left him alone to begin with. I don’t know if it was because of the infection, the bathmate, the air pump, or whatever else, but I just can’t seem to get anything to return the guy to the state he was before. Or maybe my thinking is wrong there?
