Serious Long Term Injury - Help Required

Before I continue could this thread please be moved to the injury sub forum please? I spoke to a moderator and was told that this would be okay if I requested. Thanks.

Right, where to start.

Prior to the injury I’m about to detail I’d been doing infrequent PEing in an attempt to add a little length, but primarily girth. I was inexperienced, and my only experience had been infrequent jelqing and the technique where you try push more blood into your erection, as you would if you were ejaculating, I’ve forgotten the exact terminology.

This had been for no more than 2 or 3 months on and off, the only negative I’d experienced was a slight sharp pain in my penis when doing the latter exercise.

Then, like a dumbass, I starting experimenting with doing an Uli. I wanted to gain girth, and I was being reckless, in hindsight.

The injury occurred while doing a makeshift clamp, I was holding the base of my penis with a O grip, and was working up an erection. While doing this I held the head of my penis to prevent blood getting into my glans and to concentrate the expansion totally on my shaft.

I’d hold the pressure until my shaft could expand no more and I’d let go intermittently. It created a real swell to my shaft and I had those occasional red spots on my shaft from the expansion, I’d read that this was nothing to worry about however and was a good sign, so I continued with this technique.

I’d done this a few times and a tried it another day.

This time, I did the above, but when I released my glans and the O grip, I noticed a discoloured and raised bump at the corner of the tip of my urethra. It had been where my grip preventing blood entering my glans wasn’t entirely effective, it was an isolated spot where blood had entered and expanded while the rest of my glans remained at a near flaccid like state of expansion.

Imagine blowing up a balloon and there being an isolated spot that you place pressure on and it stretched the latex in that area greater than the rest of the balloon, that’s the analogy I’d make.

Anyway, I quickly pressed this lump down, and then stopped my makeshift clamping completely. But what remained was a slightly discoloured part of my glans, that was desensitised

Bad enough, but no great big deal I thought. The area was only small, and besides that all seemed okay.

However, while masturbating a week or so later, I noticed that the head of my penis was expanding much larger than it would usually, while my mid my shaft wasn’t getting fully erect, then while ejaculating this discrepancy grew even greater, and I felt a sudden tearing sensation. A truly bizarre feeling, but not particularly painful. Just incredibly disconcerting, l knew immediately what it was. I looked down and what was once the small isolated spot where the excessive stretching and bump from the previous trauma took place, was now 3 times larger.

My theory at the time, and now, was that when I ejaculated the pressure of the increased blood into the glans placed stress often the previous tissue injury, stress that it couldn’t take and it gave way.

Anyway, this area had now stretched to cover around 30% of the head of my penis. The area was slightly paler than the rest of the glans, which were a healthy purple colour.

This area was heavily numbed and desensitised.

Over the next two weeks I tried to refrain from masturbating and sexual contact completely in order to allow the trauma to settle.

Following two weeks I tried to masturbate, as I hadn’t the confidence to attempt to have sex with my girlfriend at that stage.

This time, after ejaculating, the left side of my glans opposite the injury, separated by my urethra if you look from above, had swollen and was raised noticeably, hugely in fact.

I knew what this meant, I felt the area, as numb as the opposite side. I cannot begin to write in words how soul destroying that was. I literally cried, I knew I’d totally fucked myself up. I had been holding out hope that the trauma would be isolated to the original spot, but it wouldn’t, and it wasn’t.

At this stage I didn’t even have a correctly functioning erection. My shaft wouldn’t reach full erection, while the head of my penis/glans would just expand and expand, beyond what it should be. Not crazily so, but noticeably so.

Again I’d make the balloon analogy, normally you can only blow it so far, and it’s capped - your glans can only accept so much blood before they reach capacity and then expansion stops. Well after these injuries my glans would expand that bit more, there was no cap.

Every time I got an erection, the very act of having an erection would create further trauma to the glans.

I would be left with a literal cracking of the tissue, from where the surface layer of tissue couldn’t take the strain. The head of my glans looked sore every time after I attempted to masturbate, the appearance was similar to a bruised tomato.

What followed was months of gradual deterioration.

I had a shooting pain travelling from where my glans meet my shaft on one side of my shaft, the pain felt as though it was deep in my shaft. My urethra was literally stretched slightly from the excessive expansion that now came from a routine erection, and my ‘pee hole’ (can’t think of the correct terminology, sorry) literally became larger due to this.

This lead to occasions where I’d be in the shower and be brought to my knees in agony from the sensation of warm water passing over the urethra tip, the pain firing through my body as if someone had jammed a hot poker down my urethra.

As the sensation was now almost entirely absent from my glans, the last real place where there was sensation was what is usually the most sensitive area of your glans - where your foreskin joins your glans. However even the sensation there was heavily dulled. My theory was and is that this area received less excessive expansion and tissue trauma from an erection.

During this period I was waiting for an appointment to see a urologist, I’d seen an experienced practitioner at a sexual health clinic and was told he’d seen or heard of nothing like it. My penis looked fairly ordinary while flaccid, apart from the minor discolouration, and slightly larger and more pronounced urethra tip - although you wouldn’t know if this was unusual for myself unless you knew what it looked like prior to the injury. (This is important as it has meant I have had difficulty getting recognition of my problem). However this practitioner was concerned and did state that he recognised some kind of nerve damage.

I saw the urologist and was told he could readily identify nothing, all he could do was speculate about nerve damage. There was nothing that he could provide in terms of surgery or otherwise that would solve my problems with nerve damage and loss of a normally functioning erection. I was told I could see a sexual counsellor!

In short, I was fucked.

Fortunately, after a period of several months having an erection eventually stopped creating further significant trauma to my glans. However, there would be flaring, reminiscent of the ‘cracking’ tissue I described earlier.

My erections became more typical, with mid shaft expansion etc, but I found it difficult to get fully hard. When I did that would create the aforementioned surface trauma on the head of my penis/glans.

This has continued to this day, albeit the flaring is rarer. The injury eventually plateaued, and stopped getting worse. However, it isn’t improving.

That’s where I’m at now. 3 years on from the original injury, 3 years.

That period of stress and despair really almost screwed me up, it was absolutely soul destroying going through all that and having medical professionals tell you there’s fuck all they could do, you were on your own and your sexual future was effectively gone as you knew it.

Since then, I’ve had sex, and there is almost zero pleasure. I am impossible for a woman to bring to ejaculation. I can’t feel the warmth of being inside a woman, and often I feel nothing whatsoever but mild sensory input, like rubbing the outside of your forearm.

The only saving grace is it can occasionally vary, sometimes a can feel that mild warmth of pleasurable physical sexual stimulation, even if it is dulled. Most times my penis feels cold to the touch, the worst way of demonstrating it would be by telling you to hold an ice cube to the top of your glans. 9 times out of ten I can’t feel that, all I get is a delayed and dulled pain response after a few seconds. Other times I will feel it, albeit not greatly.

That is the only saving grace. That is the last shred of hope that I have, at one stage all I wanted was the actual function of a normal erection, I’ve got that as good as I’ll ever get now I think, but I desperately want to recover that sensation, as much as I can. I’m a realist, and I likely know that the sensation will never be the same, sex will never be the same, and as depressing and soul destroying as that is, something is better than nothing, and I’d like to improve what little sensation I have.

I’m only in my mid twenties, and I really find the prospect of living the rest of my life with such an unfulfilling, frustrating and utterly depressing sex life incredibly daunting. I really try to put it out of my mind, but it’s meant that my life is effectively on hold. This whole episode has really fucked up my whole perception of life, as a young man, if you can’t have such a fundamental pleasure as enjoying sex, then what else is there?

Sorry for the woe is me bullshit, but I’m just finding it really difficult. I’m a lot cooler about it then I was ( as is possible ), but it’s been an incredibly slow process of coming to terms with it, and I’m still not there. It’s hard to accept.

But, I post this as I want to know if there is anyone out there in this community who might know what I’ve done to myself? I know there are a lot of intelligent people on this site who are very knowledgeable on this topic, people who have first hand experience with injuries, people who have visited genuinely experienced and helpful medical practitioners.

Do you have any idea what I can do to help myself? What I can do do recover as close to what I had as is possible? Anything?

Honestly, anything would be welcome. I’d welcome any input or help that could prove useful.

Anyway, thank you guys, for hearing me out and reading this giant post. Thanks guys.

Sounds like you did Horse440. After direct examination by an urologist, hard that we can give you any better advice than he gave. I never heard of such an injury so I can only speculate that it is some kind of nerve damage and that will heal with time.

So sorry to hear about what’s happened to you. I’m not an expert, only a beginner myself, so I’m unable to offer you any advice or help. I can only wish you good luck and really hope that it will heal someday.

How would you not go straight to a specialist??? Scary stuff man.

~hug~

that’s really rough dude. I wish I had advice to give but I say go to back to doctor and demand to him that you need answers for what’s going on with you. You don’t know what it is and the fact the doctor doesn’t know what it is means that he needs to get better at his job and check it and see what can be done.

@Marinera Done a Horse440? What’s that? Has someone else expressed similar problems?

@Yoshi44 Embarrassment, really. I don’t think it would’ve made much of a difference if I’d seen a urologist any earlier than I did anyway. Whatever trauma I’d created originally was getting worse and causing problems, when I saw them it was at that stage and they weren’t much help, so I doubt it’d be much different any earlier. I think I was unfortunate in who I saw, I’d even contemplate travelling abroad to see someone experienced in this field if I thought it was worthwhile. I don’t think I had a great deal of help. It was effectively a case of, “well you’re able to get an erection”.

Thanks for the well wishes guys.

I’ve seen a urologist, so they’re effectively as close as I’ll get to a specialist, am I right?

Although some will have more experience dealing with penile injuries than others obviously. Urology is a very broad topic, I’d like to see someone who had particular experience with penile injuries, but I don’t know who that would be exactly?

This whole episode, as you can imagine, has been very stressful, and depressing.

I’ve had a lot of trouble with depression and anxiety over these three years, and that’s become another linked issue to solving this problem. It seems to undermine the seriousness of the injury in the eyes of my doctor, despite its obvious implications. She fails to see how it is key to solving my depression. Whenever I have tried to raise the injury with my doctor I’m told that I should focus on my depression, there’s that obvious scepticism from her, she knows I’ve seen a urologist, she doesn’t want to acknowledge I have a very real physical problem.

I’ve been told that it may or not return to normal, I just have to accept it and try and live as normally as possible - “here, take some antidepressants and fuck off” is effectively what little help I get from my doctor.

Then you have her trying to tell me that sex isn’t that important etc. Effectively like telling someone who has gone blind that their eyesight isn’t that important.

It makes it all the worse to be honest. I know I’ve got a very real physical problem, and I don’t think I’ve totally explored all the possibilities of treating it. And my doctor just refuses to acknowledge how pivotal this injury has been in my depression, I told her so, I don’t think I’d be seeing her if this had never happened.

It’s so frustrating. It even makes you doubt your own sanity at times, as you then think to yourself, “maybe there is nothing wrong with it”, then I’ll be feeling good, have sex, feel nothing, and fail to ejaculate, and then my mood crashes.

There’s no escaping it either, it’s not like you can ignore it. Every time I go to the toilet, have a shower, go to bed, it’s there, that problem. One that’s totally out of my control, and hanging over me every day of my life. It’s there when you’re thinking about relationships, about your entire future and what you wanted from life.

How could that not have some kind of impression on your mood and well being?

I genuinely would’ve rather I’d lost a leg or an arm in a car accident, then have to deal with this. It has totally ruined my outlook on life. And to be totally frank, in really dark moments contributed to thoughts of contemplating suicide.

I really don’t want to have to think about it anymore, but like I previously mentioned, there’s absolutely no escaping it. But at that same time, I’m told I just have to accept it, it might improve, but then I think to myself, it’s been 3 years, how much longer am I expected to hold out hope for improvement?

That’s the real thing that destroys you, the hope.

I want to find some kind of treatment, anything. I want to explore every possibility that may aid a recovery, until then, how can I just be expected to continue as I have been doing and just accept it?

If there is nothing I can do, then fine, I will just have to come to terms with it. I’ve come a long way in that respect anyway, but I still have a long way to go.

Anyway, thanks for hearing me out guys. Feels a relief to get this off my chest to be honest, an important release. Hell, if what I need to do is simply come to terms with it then talking about it openly might help.

But yeah, I appreciate the kind words. If anyone has any idea or thoughts on what may help me I would really appreciate it if you’d share them.

Thanks.

I feel for you man. It’s crazy that in this day and age so little is known about how the penis works.

You might want to think about seeing another urologist.

This is the reason why we here believe that one should condition their units before attempting experiments. You just joined in March.

Have you had any PE experience before joining this place. Most of us vets have experienced a lot of bad injuries. Just leave it alone,

stop exercising, but keep monitoring it. I suggest you dump your urologist. Go see a male urologist since he may be more sympathetic

to the cause. I once popped a vein in my unit and my glands and one side half way down my shaft turned bluish black. It took 3 months

to go away. Just give it some time. Oh, welcome to the world of PE. This is what can happen, since everything we do here is dangerous.

Take care, my friend and heal yourself.

A Quickstart Guide to Manual Exercises

Yes a number of people suffered injuries from Horse’s. Avocet8 and me, to name two.

@Tntjockey

Don’t take this the wrong way, but did you read all of my post?

I injured myself 3 years ago. When the injury happened I’d been doing PE for a few months, I know it was stupid to start advanced exercises when I did, but I didn’t know how dangerous it was at the time. Since the injury I’ve done no PE whatsoever.

@Marinera

I read about that dude’s technique, and it’s pretty similar to what caused my injury, although not identical. I really wouldn’t recommend anyone trying it, simply not worth the risk. It’s better to be cautious and remain patient, as mentioned in his warnings, it creates so much pressure internally in your penis that you’re risking injury every time you do it.

How would you describe your injury and did you recover?

Thanks again for the kind words guys, I do think I need to see someone else, just not sure how to go about it. Or if I’d be setting myself up for a fall by getting my hopes up again.

Just another quick question, I’m uncut. I have more sensation in my foreskin then in my glands. Seriously. If I pour warm water over my glans, with my foreskin retracted and covered with my hand to prevent water passing over the foreskin, I feel nothing. Nothing. If the water is hot enough I’ll feel a very faint and dulled pain after a few seconds.

As the water passes over my glands there is no sensation of pleasure or warmth, and the warmth doesn’t encourage an erection. However, if I stop covering my retracted foreskin with my hand, allowing the water to pass over it, I can feel the warmth on the foreskin. But, of course this isn’t all that pleasurable, you can’t bring yourself to orgasm by rubbing your foreskin for example.

How fucked up is that?

If you were to do the same experiment, how would your penis respond? How different would the sensation be between your glans and your foreskin?

It’s honestly been so long, that I can barely even remember what it used to feel like pre injury.

Is there nothing anyone could advise on what I should do, now?

Also, could anyone please respond to my last post re sensation and the differences?

It’s been so long since it happened I can barely even remember what it used to feel like.

Anyway, thanks guys.

Lifesabitch, you should write shorter posts and focus on one point at the tyme. Otherwise it is hard for fellows to read and give advice.

What are your symptoms, briefly?

What’s the doctor diagnosis?

I had a big blood spot on the CS, ventral side of the penis, near the urethra. It healed by itself. You should never apply pressure on the CS while the penis is erect, the worst that can happen is a serious damage to the urethra. Not that we ever heard of a urethra rupture, I’m just making the worst possible scenario.

@Marinera

My symptoms are a large loss of sensation in the glans. On a good day, it’s 10 or 15% of what it was. On a bad day, it’s 5% of what it was.

My glans expand unnaturally so, slightly beyond their actual capacity. As a result I get a cracking of the surface tissue of the glans when I masturbate or have sex, the longer the period of the erection and stimulation - the more tissue trauma is created. It’s always in one particular place, and that’s the central lower part of my glans near the edge of the ‘helmet’ and directly under my urethral tip, as you look at it from above. If the cracking is minor, it will be mildly red, and there will be very slight red cracks in the glans. If it’s bad, it’ll be red raw, and there will be clearly visible and inflamed cracks in the tissue - these will calm down eventually, and as the tissue recovers it will dry up and the skin will peel away.

This is the daily reality for me when it comes to my erections, masturbating or sex.

I also have an aching sensation deep in my shaft from a prolonged erection. There also feels as if there is a stringy and hard bit of tissue in my shaft, near where the corpus meets the uretha on the underside slightly to the right. It begins under my foreskin, continues down the shaft parallel to my uretha, and is 2 or 3 centimetres in length. In my non expert opinion, this seems to be scar tissue.

I was never given a proper diagnosis and was simply told I had some kind of nerve damage. I’ve had little to no help or guidance from medical professionals. I’ve found them deeply unhelpful and the whole process of seeing them has been particularly depressing and disheartening.

Any advice or guidance would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks guys.

How do you test penis sensitivity and what is considered normal? Is it more sensitive or less sensitive than the adjacent leg or thigh?