A permanent physiological problem with sex stemming from childhood days of masturb..?

Hey guys, I’ve got a serious problem that I’ve had no luck in getting over since I started having sex. I’ll start by describing the problem, then where I think it begins.

The problem:

I can only stay aroused with my legs and feet pointed out straight and flexing them really hard. This has kept me from being able to do a girl in doggie style, standing up, and many more. Essentially, the only way I’m able to get myself to cum or even stay hard is if I’m in missionary or on my back with her on top. In addition, my dick is very desensitized. There really just one part the really hits the spot on it and that’s on the underside right below the head. Picture a girl fingering herself and what that looks like, and that’s basically what I have to do to that spot on my cock to get off.

Where I think it starts:

Growing up, for whatever reason, I discovered and became addicted to masturbation via humping things. From soccer goal posts to trees, even my door. I enjoyed the climbing up and suspending myself with my arms while rubbing my crotch against the object, whatever it be. I’d been doing it sometime since 3rd grade, but probably even earlier. I attribute those super early childhood years of masturbation to a lot of the sensitivity problem I have today, not that years of internet porn hasn’t done a number either. It’s also where I got into the habit of keeping my legs stretching out, clinching my buttocks, and keeping my feet pointed. It’s seriously the only way I can orgasm, and it’s extremely inhibiting when trying to perform.

Now, I have tried very hard many times to bring myself to orgasm in any position that any normal person is able to do, and it just doesn’t work. Do I need to see a sex therapist, or what? I truly feel like those childhood years have permanently stunted my capabilities.

I don’t share your experience, but it could help if you train yourself to enjoy different sensations. Spend at least half an hour touching other parts of your body in ways that feel good before touching yourself in the way that will get you off. Spend some time alternating the two before getting yourself off. Hopefully thus can train your brain that different kinds of touching feel good and relate them to orgasm.

You may be suffering from what is called ‘Traumatic Masturbation Syndrome’. Google it. You will find information on how to undo this ‘training’ tha t you have conditioned yourself to. Good luck.

I’ve heard of this before. It seems odd, but apparently it’s a well known phenomenon for men who masturbate like that; not simply standing up but also lying face down and mimicking the missionary position. There was actually advice given for young boys not to masturbate like that.

It seems bizarre that it should be any more dangerous than using your hands. Intuition would suggest that masturbating in a way that more closely mimics a sexual position would be less damaging, but apparently not.

The mind is a strange thing.

I’ve heard of this. It is referred to as “Idiosyncratic masturbation”. Despite the fact that you are in missionary position, the stimulation of dry-humping the mattress is not the same as the warm wet friction of a vagina. Boys are warned not to do this because you can program yourself to only climax this way.

There is good news, though. You can program yourself to respond to normal stimulation as well. Don’t go to a urologist; seek out a therapist that is registered with the National sex therapists board.