Bad sex

I don’t know why I cannot post in the mens sexual forum but I was figuring I could get the same answer here. Why is it that the girl I’m currently dating keeps getting numb in her vagina area every time we perform sexual activities. I don’t know if she’s a virgin or what but she told me she is.. At her age Id be surprised to find one of those.But anyway when ever I rub her or eat her out she begins to numb up in her vagina area and it sucks real bad. I can’t enjoy my sex life and I can’t push it all the way is she’s getting numb. It’s just not fun if she’s not horny because shed be faking it. Whats wrong with her vagina? She’s too scared to visit a gynecologist and I don’t have one. Please guys lemme know what could it be. And no I don’t keep doing the same rubs/licks to her so whats making her vagina be this way.

Personally, I would insist she see a gynecologist. This is not normal. I own a vagina and I can tell you its not fun when its numb.

The reason you couldn’t post it in MSHF is because you don’t have your 20 posts in (I hope that’s right, I get them confused.) But I moved it for you.

Sunshine thank you, Is there any clinical reasons why she could be suffering from this? Is it a disease? Is it something I did? I dunno what to think it’s just scary because I don’t want to be the one that did something to her if this is something permanent.

These two sentences don’t make sense. If she’s too old to be a virgin (in your opinion) then she should already be seeing a gynecologist on a regular basis. If something is wrong with her plumbing, she needs to see someone who knows how to fix it (the gyno). Why would she be afraid?

Also, what is her definition of “numb?” Perhaps she’s misinterpreting sensations that are not “numb” but something else. Numb generally means the loss of sensation. Like your jaw gets numb after the dentist injects the Novocaine. Does it only happen when she has sex with you? When she masturbates? With other men? Do you have to touch her for it to happen or does it happen when you’re preparing to have sex? Could it be psychological?

More information is needed, but she should definitely see a specialist if it’s causing problems in your relationship.

She told me today that when I rub her vagina or lick it, it starts to lose the pleasure of what she’s supposed to feel. So I guess in your terms yeah her vagina’s getting numb. This is a first for me but IF this is because of the way I’m rubbing or licking her down there, what am I doing wrong. This is a first time experience for me and I don’t know how to deal with it. Psychologically it’s making me lose confidence in our sex life and my confidence to satisfy women as a man. It’s depressing and I don’t know how to deal with it. Anyone know why her vagina is losing pleasure like so and is this normal?

It sounds like a psychological problem on her end, not your technique. The brain is a powerful organ and she may be “losing pleasure” if she thinks sex is “dirty” or if she really is a virgin and has no experience in what she’s supposed to feel.

Sounds like you need to talk to her about her expectations/experience and what she’s expecting to happen between you.

Where is Twatteaser when you need him? He’s so much better at this type of counseling. :helpme:

I think that’s the best first step, IF she feels herself that something is not right for her. If she goes that route, suggest she see a female gynocologist. I may be very retro in my thinking about this, but I believe that people with vaginas probably have more understanding of them and compassion for them than people who don’t have them. Goes the same way for males and penises/prostates, imo.

I can identify, too, with what westla says about the power of the brain and the attitudes it has been trained in.

She feels there’s nothing wrong with her and I suggested her to look into a gynecologist but she took it negatively as though I was making fun of her. I believe she is in denial

When you say shes a virgin, do you mean from all the sexual activities you have had together, that umm how shall I say this, that she hasn’t popped her cherry.

If she hasn’t, It might be the whole reason this is happening, not being experienced, not feeling comfortable, because after a girl loses their viriginity I think they get more used to sex and start to get more comfortable and enjoy more.

But I’m no expert and it could be a medical problem for all I know, is there any other symptoms she has that might help us figure out if she has a medical problem, or psychological problem (Virgin)

I would not perceive a statement of “I’m concerned, I’ve been told this isn’t normal and I would like you to get it checked”, as a negative statement. Denial is a good word for this. One thing you haven’t told us is how old is she? Some women do see sex as ‘dirty’ (thank you religion :rolleyes: ) And if this is the case, if she is over 30, then she has a mental block and needs assistance to get over it, and while that is happening remind yourself over and over again it isn’t you.

Like I said before, I’ve had mine go numb, not enjoyable at all. I was on the phone the next morning to my gynecologist and was in his office that afternoon. I had a nerve pinched in my low low back and it did weird things. Got it fixed and I’ve been good ever since.

If she doesn’t want to go to a gyn, then make an appointment for her at her regular doctor and go with her. You aren’t being negative, you aren’t making fun of her, you are concerned that she might have a problem and want to support her while she gets it sorted out. And somehow you need to get that point across to her, that you are supportive and concerned.

My friend’s girlfriend when we were in highschool was a virgin. Every time he fingered her or licked her she said she didn’t feel anything and it wasn’t fun for her. That is the only personal case I have heard of that happening. As everyone else suggested a Gynecologist is the best option.

Have you tried “selfish sex”? Lay on your back and keep your arms on the bed. Do not kiss her, lick her, touch her or beat her. Let her explore your body and get herself off using your body and her own. If she goes numb while she is in 100% control, you can rule yourself out as the source of the problem. I really believe that each partner even in a healthy sexual relationship should have selfish sex once in a while. It’s a great way to show the other person what they like without having to talk about it.

Hooded clitoris, not uncommon.