Bros, I need your help!

My fiancee and I, are starting to have sex again on a regular basis. I went through long droughts with her due to her extreme tiredness and depression. Sometimes, I would only have intercourse once or twice a month. She has been placed on Wellbutrin and is hornier than ever. However due my infrequent sex life, im beginning to struggle with ejaculating way too early.

Before my sex life went on hiatus with my fiancee, I could easily last one to two hours with her. I could orgasm whenever I wanted too. But now, whenever she says “Im cumming,” I orgasm immediately. What has happened to me? I use to get her off at least 4 to 5 times. I enjoy watching her cum more than my own orgasm. When I insert her now, I get the urge to ejaculate immediately. This is not the Alex that I know. Do you guys think it is a mental thing with me or what? I basically trained her to let me know when she gets off, but I dont know if I can hear those words anymore. She tells me all is well, but she misses the marathon man. I kind of have some resentment towards her, since her lack of desire has resulted in my lack of stamina.

Any advice is appreciated! I hate getting off before her, its killing me inside!

AlexW

Hi AlexW,

I’m sorry to hear that you guys have been having issues about this.
Well, I’m in a similar boat, my wife and I don’t usually get it on much, I guess averaging out to once a quarter (so think yourself lucky!)
I have found the same sort of this, I do believe that the more you have sex, the more accustomed you will get with the feeling, and you well soon be back at ‘peak’ and be able to have more control.
I also think there might be a degree of mental thing, which leads to self doubt etc and can play on the mind. With regards to resentment towards her, I too have felt this, as you feel that if everything was OK or normal, you would not be in this situation (i.e. leading back to self doubt).

The good news!!!
I think it is all totally normal, and that you can so get over it!! Just believe in yourself and go with the flow and don’t worry about. I have always found that worrying about things just makes them worst.
If you want to cut down on the physical stimulation, maybe wear a condom to start with. But I have always found that the more you get, the better you get and controlling yourself.

Good luck with it

James

(the above is my personal opinion, and I have no medical background)

I’ve had kind of a dry spell lately too, and the relative novelty of actual sex makes achieving orgasm way easy, like it was the very first time.

Have you considered agreeing to have sex without letting either of you have an orgasm, for a while at least? Pull out before it’s too late, then repeat when you’re ready. It may help psychologically, and sort of lessen the intensity of the sensation at the same time.

Alex

You need to have a frank discussion that the relative infrequency of sex while she was in a funk caused you to become deconditioned. She needs to accept a role in getting you back to where you once were. Have some fun with her helping you do some edging. After a few weeks of kegel’s and edging you should be back to your old self. In the meantime no reason she can’t have multiples with the aid of manual, oral, or toy stimulation.

Alex,

If I ever heard a sex therapist speaking, it’s luvdadus offering his advice. He’s properly named. Heed his words. Just my opinion.

Horsehung

I agree with luvdadus, I am definately an edger. I think that it might be a problem for me though but thats a different topic. It has helped me to keep going and going…. But I sometimes have a hard time keeping a strong erection. At least edging has helped me to last a long time.