Cystoscopy

I had a cystoscopy done this morning. That’s where they run a camera up your urethra and look around inside your bladder.

The web said modern cameras are 3mm in diameter for the simple ones, 5mm for the flexible ones with extra functions, and the old-school ones used to be 7.2mm. Standard procedure is to squirt some "numbing gel" into the urethra and wait a few minutes before getting the camera.

I got there, had to undress completely, and they wheeled me into the examination room on a gurney. The doctor was male, the three technicians were female. One of the women slopped some sort of (cold!) disinfectant on and massaged it briefly, then the other handed the doc the camera. An ancient 7.2mm one the diameter of a pencil. Good thing I’d sounded and stretched things out to 8mm over the weekend.

The doc grabbed my dick and then simply jammed the camera in, all the way down and past the sphincter at the prostate. That hurt. No "numbing gel" either. Then he started twisting it about while looking at the inside of my bladder. That hurt too. Then he yanked the camera out. Probably sixty seconds from beginning to end. He said everything looked okay. It looked like the inside of a walnut to me.

They wheeled me back to the other room, I got dressed, and drove home.

If I hadn’t sounded up to 8mm beforehand, I would probably have pissed blood for days. I would rate the procedure as just barely on the non-actionable side of "brutal."

Damn Andy, seems like you and doctors are not fully aligned, thinking of your other histories here. Take care man!

Ooof, sounds like some weird bdsm session. We’re the nurses pretty at least?

You should see how circumcisions are performed on newborns….

My poor wife was forced to witness 4 of them … in the NICU for fuck’s sake… inhuman is the word she used.

My primary doc and I get along really well. Consults are about 50/50; either excellent or assholes of questionable competence.

They were middle-aged and average-looking. After they wheeled me back to the changing area I got a new one, cute with big bazongas.

I’ve read about how some of those are done, and how sometimes the butchers will damage the penis, or leave flaps of foreskin behind. Some guys have posted pictures. I’m not one to automatically turn to the court system, but the perpetrators ought to be sued for malpractice.

My younger brother got "the bell". Mom said that’s how I was done too. The only sign there was ever a foreskin is a slightly darker band, not otherwise different from the rest of the skin. Some poor bastards look like they were circumcised with a Weed-Eater.

Ya, there is no special cosmetic surgery training or anything. They treat it as an afterthought and essentially an up-sell. They must have asked us 5 times in the NICU whether we were SURE we didn’t want our son circumcised.

NO YOU FUCKING MONSTERS, KEEP YOUR KNIVES AWAY FROM MY SON’s PENIS!