Girl couldn't get me off

So I’ve been hooking up with this girl for a bit now. We’ve probably hooked up like 10 times or so. Not once could she get me to cum. She thinks she’s horrible at head, and seems to hate giving it. She’s not bad at it, but just can’t get me to cum, not once. It really bothers me because I feel like I’m getting blue-balled and I just have to masturbate when she’s gone or something. I do watch a lot of pornography and stuff, so that might be the reason. She just doesn’t mix it up I don’t know. She just does the same thing, she doesn’t tease to get it really hard. I’m not sure what to do. Last time I tried to kind of “guide” her head, and she flipped out saying I was forcing her head and all this stuff. What can I do?

I feel bad because she can go down on me for like 10-20 minutes and I just won’t come. It’s not that I cannot get off. I’m hard during the whole process. We haven’t had sex in awhile, and I don’t know if I’ll even come then. Is it me or her?

Not coming for 10-20 minutes isn’t necessarily a problem but it seems like you’ve identified the problem “She just doesn’t mix it up. She just does the same thing, she doesn’t tease”. Now tell her (nicely). Everyone has an ego and it’s sometimes hard to take stuff related to sexual performance, it might also take a long time to fix but if you are patient and she is willing, she can improve. You could always ask her for tips on giving her oral pleasure first, to give her the idea that asking for help from the person receiving is not a bad idea.

I think that’s a good idea. I’ve just read a lot of different articles claiming that in general, women do not like it when you ask them what to do and tell them what to do when it comes to giving or receiving pleasure. I hope that I’m wrong in this assumption. I guess I should try it. The thing that really bothers me is, I love going down on her, but she said she hates giving head and going down on guys. I don’t know if that’s because she thinks she’s not good at it. Last time she was like “I know I suck at head”

Are you dating my ex Jennifer?

Are you on any kind of medication?

I was on Effexor, Deroxat and another shit I can’t remember and lasted for 2 hours and still could not get it off. When I finally got off the medications (which was hard) I was back to normal.

Also maybe you are not relaxed enough to climax or then it’s time to get a new fuck buddy.

Haha, no I’m not dating your ex Jennifer. I’m not on any medication either. I kind of like this girl, so I don’t want to just get a new fuck buddy(not that this would be easy for me to do anyhow).

No one likes being told they are crap and you may well not get the best reaction. It’s all about being sensitive to your lover and knowing that in the end she wants to be pleasuring you or she wouldn’t be going for 20 minutes of lock jaw. Right now she’s probably really is thinking that she really is crap at giving head and some men come so easily when their dick enters a mouth that she might not have hit a problem up to now but if you explain it to her carefully maybe after talking about her needs (even in a different session maybe, so it isn’t seen as crow-barring your needs into the conversation under cover - which of course it is) you can improve things.

I tried your approach with Jennifer, it did not work very well. She was the kind of person who thought once she sleeps with a guy, he’ll be
hers forever so she does not really do much during sex. I talked about it to her, she’ll go down on me then say I was too big for her mouth. She always had an excuse. Her favorite (rather her only) position was missionary, I’ll go rewind forward and she’ll lie down like a corpse (well not exactly she was moaning and digging her nails in my love handles). At times I did happen to fake my orgasm, so that to get this ordeal (I started ;) ) over with. God, it was a really frustrating relationship in both the emotional and physical aspect. The way she was in bed reflected her personality always taking never giving. Fucking cow.

Sorry got a little carried away there.

Try to find a good approach to tell her that she needs to put a bit of effort in bed. Perhaps start by saying how much you love her or how much you would like to start something up with her.

-:edit:- Please forget the fucking cow part I did not really mean it. Not that it matters.

Talk talk talk. If you see a future with the girl, try to say “maybe we could try ….” and give her a little instruction. I just had this problem with my ex. Same situation, I could not cum from head with her. She would just go up and down quickly, and your dick gets used to it after a few minutes, and then gets bored. Tell her what parts feel good and to focus on. I like having the base and my balls touched, so I told her that and she tried to work on it. Sex in a relationship is all about communication. Yes there are girls you will be with that will rock your world and do everything right. But sometimes you’ll find a future wife who is just ok, and you have to decide to work on it and talk. Just do it nicely, say “I really like you and don’t want this to be something to worry about.” Then she’ll realize it’s working for “us” and not just “you.”

Sage advice. I’ve always liked the smell of sage.

Hey ‘padawan’,

I’m going to one up you on “Jennifer”, now I didn’t bang her. But I have had sex with someone who, basically was akin to having sex with a dead body on a slab of ice. Also, one of her things was she could not have a positive reaction in your favour. She would be completely still, and it really would be like positioning yourself on a dead body to invade it. Usually at the time of penetration, she would say something really rancous, and one half of the time my erection would be lost. I called them “erection killers”.

You see, that is why I asked if someone could basically “steal” your sexual energy through stripper moves in the bed. In the end, I figured it was not really a stealing thing going on, but more of it gave her a massive thrill to know she did it. When you were around her, that thrill remained. Just like the guy whose cheekbone your broke, because he started swinging on you.

I don’t know whats up with this dead body sex, whether these women congregate and pass their secrets, etc.

Real creepy I tell you man.

I honestly have no idea in what goes on in those women’s head.

Years ago I had a friend, a girl which I was really close to. She would tell me that whenever she’ll have sex with her boyfriend, she”ll lay still till he finished. The thing was that she did not love the guy but rather hooked on with the guy because she feared she’ll spend her entire life alone.

I wonder what goes on with the other living corpse women.

What ever happened to the “free” women. The ones who embraced a liberal approach to sexuality.

Oh yeah! They became lesbians. :D

These threads drive me crazy.

Having a girl suck your dick is hot.

If she thinks she is bad at it you first have to change that attitude.

Even if you’re not cumming, make sure she knows it is the greatest thing you have ever experienced. “That feels so good. You are so hot. I love it when you suck my dick. I love watching your beautiful face when you suck me.”

Etc.

Now she is used to you talking, and she likes it because you are saying nice things and making her feel good about her performance. This all gets her ready for the next step, which is giving her instructions. From the compliments above, you transition to comments like:

Do more of that.

Lick it like an ice cream cone.

Look in my eyes while you are sucking it.

Slap it on your tongue.

Lick my balls.

Let me fuck your pretty face.

Soft kisses here.

You are right that girls often dislike grabbing or pushing their heads, but the instructions should be cool. In fact, you are just making it hotter for both of you, so don’t feel uptight about taking charge.

A blow job is a terrible thing to waste. Take control and make it great.

‘Padawan’,

Sounds about right. The one I’m talking about had a counter for any hints of masculinity, or confidence. Is why I called it “stripping”. The sex
Was the same thing, because during the act you would feel degraded to have to take those scraps, even though it was better than nothing, and definately better than jagging off.

How did you and Jennifer end up breaking up?