Girlfriend/SO Spank Bank

I’m asking the arousal experts to weigh in here… if going porn free has certain strong benefits in terms of sexual reset, where does the girlfriend spank bank fit in (pics she texts, skype sessions, etc.)? Just from experience I know there’s a lot of emotional and mental aspects to why her content is often more effective than “stranger porn”, but it’s still a huge data-bank of visual stimulation so the elevated dope effect of edging is still there.

Of course as a long distance partner I am away from her about 3/4 of the year and I accept the fact that it is a somewhat temporary arrangement with drawbacks. My intent is to spend the next few years while this work lasts getting as much solid PE in because I know when I live with her I don’t bother with porn really at all. The longest I’ve stayed with her “full time” was about 6 months, but for the most part I expect not to bother with it much.

Do any of you guys advocate abstaining from all edging even to include “faithful porn”, or do you consider it an exception to the rule?

It’s an exception to the rule in my opinion. The difference being she’s real and you’ve related to her in a healthy manner. Stranger porn has no basis in reality.

OK, so you’re reaction seems to be mainly ethical or at least psychological… I completely agree on a scale of “impotent” to “cheating” it’s basically 100% faithful.

However, if the issue with porn is that it elevates dopamine and mental stimulation to the point where masturbation becomes preferable to sex, then the fact that she’s real is somewhat irrelevant, no? The stimulus and chemical process are still quite different…

I can’t really say, perhaps If you email me the pictures she sent you I could give you a better answer. *wink, wink* *nudge, nudge*

I’m not certain of the chemical reaction. I just know I feel different looking at my wife’s pictures as opposed to porn.

Maybe someone with a better understanding will chime in.

You can watch porn as much as you want, and you can jack off as much as you want. But, if it is causing you psychological stress, then you should decide what you should do to better yourself. Watching porn or jacking off doesn’t have to cause psychological stress. If you want to beat off to your wife, then go ahead. Maybe there aren’t any demon babies who are going to cut your balls off for it. You get a different feeling with your wife because you probably love her. It’s up to you. Do what you want.

My question was aimed at guys who see the down side to over-stimulating pleasure receptors (exactly like chronic cocaine use, though at a lower dose). If you deny that psychological effect we probably won’t ever come to the same conclusion.

I’ve just never seen an actual study on this. I have seen websites claiming this thing, though. Some were religious based websites and the others do not use sources and just make claims with not much evidence other than comparing masturbating with doing heroin, which is probably not reality. The articles seem lacking, to me. It could be a purely psychological effect, meaning that masturbation would be a source of anxiety but not necessarily the cause of it.

That being said. I don’t know about your situation. It seems that most of these websites that claim masturbation causes psychological problems and sexual disfunction seem to believe that having sex with a person is still okay, even though that could potentially be addicting as well. A healthy sex life, to me, consists of sex and masturbation. I don’t believe I know enough to give you any kind of solid advice, though. Sorry.

Personally I see the downward trend quite vividly, so I don’t need any studies to convince me… I see a porn that blew my mind ten years ago and I’m just “meh” now, even if I only watched it once or twice. What could be more reasonable than the notion that chasing thrills can only move the threshold of excitement further and further away? Fortunately I don’t find myself seeking out disgusting content, but in the past few years I know I’ve simply never climaxed like I did when I was newer to the game. Hell, to be honest I would say my top few climaxes ever were before I lost my virginity… that can’t be a “good” thing.

I guess I can relate to that. It depends on a lot of factors, though. Some days I’ve become very aroused with pornographic material and had great orgasms, and other days it’s like I’m forcing myself to like it and the orgasm is almost not even there. There’s just a lot of things that seem to be involved, I think. But, I do agree that abstaining might be a good idea to rekindle the fire.

When I use porn to edge, clamp, stretch, etc.. I just end up uncontrollably horny all the time. ;-) And if I do masturbate to completion it eventually gets pretty old and I need the real thing.

I would consider it an exception to the rule, simply because it’s not as alienating as porn. It’s your very own slice of the pie, something no-one else has. Why would you give that up? Just try not to look at them 24/7 and I think you’ll find that they arouse you just as much as porn ever did, with the added benefit that it makes you want her even more! If I can give a tip:just look at them sporadically, when you are already aroused. I think you’ll find that you need them less and less!