I have an anxiety problem during sex

Sometimes, not alway, I get very nervous when I go to bed with my partner. During the day I get really anxious about having sex that night. I worry that my dick is not big enough for her or all sorts of problems. When I get in bed with her I can’t get an erection because I feel nervous and have butterfiles in my stomach. My scrotum also gets really tight and small. Is there something I can do to calm myself down and make me horny at the same time? Do any of you have that problem? Thanks.

Is she your gf, you wife? There are several things you can do.

I spoke with a guy that told me he used to get really nervous when having sex with a new partner. Eventually he came up with something that solved his problem, whenever he got to bed with a new girl he would say in advance: “I have to tell you that I’m a bit nervous and sometimes in the first time I have sex with someone I have difficulties getting hard” or something similar. Anyhow - he told me that since he started saying that, every single time was ok!

There are also drugs you can take like Viagra and other stuff, like herbal versions of V that depending on how severe the problem is, might help as well.

Problem with V is that you can get addicted and then even more nervous if you don’t take it.

However some people have used V only a few times to restore their confidence and then didn’t need to use it again, assuming that the problem is only psychological.

The easiest way is, if you are close enough to your partner, to try and talk about it. Maybe you sure give it a try? She probably feels it anyhow.

Does she know about your PE?

Thanks Braker. She’s a new girlfriend that I have been with for a couple weeks now and I don’t have to tell her I’m nervous she usually tells me lol. We do talk about it but I still feel uncomfortable. Not that she’s ugly, she is very pretty. Is ‘V’ short for viagra or something else? I don’t think viagra or other sex stimulants like yohimbine would be good for me since I have high blood pressure . Any other suggestions?

Yes by V I meant Viagra.

Do you think you want to take a drug for this problem?

Are you sure the problem is only in your head, or could it be a physical problem as well? DId you ever have problems like that before?

If you had a drug like Viagra which doesn’t clash with your high blood pressure, would you want to take it?

Or maybe you rather try and solve the problem on the psychological level only?

One other thing I once used to combat this situation, and before I tried Viagra, was to hypnotize myself. I bought a book called Self-Hypnosis or something like that. It helped me gain confidence and perform much better in bed.

Maybe meditation can help to.

I’m no expert at all, but another option is to see a doctor, just to check if there could be some physical element in this problem. Or if it’s psychological than maybe see a therapist.

Lots of good advice. If You can keep a normal erection when wanking (hey, I speak British!) it probably is not physical.

Sometime when you have the whole evening to work with try lots of 4-play first. I mean lots, like an hour before you get into her panties and an hour of oral sex for her after that. That’s 2 hours minimum before your willie gets any attention. Believe me, she will NOT complain about an experiment like this. This should calm you down and wind you up at the same time. Also, if you are in her and feel like you are starting to loose your wood switch back to oral BEFORE you get soft. This will help you to not condition your self to failure. Once again, she will NOT mind this at all. Few things are as much of a turn on as seeing your partner writhing around on the bed; you will have your wood back in no time. ( Also good for mild premature ejaculation). You can keep this up a looong time. F*ck her brains out till you are about to come or get soft, then switch to oral. Use your mouth and hands on her untill you are hard again. Lather, rinse, repeat.

You might want to take a look at the Tantric sex thred as well.

Don’t worry. When I really suffered from my colitis just talking to a girl could set me off and I would make an escape to a bathroom. I even used to overdose on Amodium Advanced tablets before going out on a date. Now, I am pretty damn good. So yeah anxiety with getting laid or talking to the opposite sex is universal. Thank God I am doing well now. I just switched medications too, so keep your fingers crossed for me.

I took a class in my addictions subtract of psychology involving the the psycholgy of stress and time managemnent. Learn to manage your issues and you’ll do fine basically. Otherwise we look to cope in substances usually.

Anyhow, try perhaps martial arts or meditation or maybe hypnosis for your problem. I used self-hypnosis to give up smokes a while back. I am looking at Tai Chi or its sister arts to learn to relax. I believe I have near paranoid espisodes of anxiety way too often.

Best of luck.
TT

Yeah, totally. I have the same problem with new girls. Get some Viagra. That stuff is a godsend. It’ll get you over the hump. I find that once I bust that first nut with a new chick, it’s smooth sailing from there and I can get it up without help, no problem. You can also try horny goat weed, or even androstenendione (bodybuilding supplement…works great for erections) if you can’t acquire Viagra… which works like a charm, hands down. No need to take a full 100mg. pill… take half or even a quarter.

Most girls, unless they are ignorant, insensitive cunts will understand your being nervous. They might even be flattered and take it as a challenge… so watch out, they’ll suck your dick like a banshee. It’ll make them feel good to be the one to get you up!

mike2002;

Viagra was first developed to be a drug to lower blood pressure. It did not work well on b/p but turned out to be a great drug for erectile function. It would not raise your blood pressure, rather it would lower it a bit.