In-line With Thunders Relationship Advice

I’ve been on this forum for quite a while. Sharing my most private experiences. I really trust and support this community.

I’m looking for advice on my marital relationship.

I’m secretly lusting for a m2m encounter at least once in my life. I don’t know how to share this with my wife. I feel bad for feeling like this in our marriage.

Our sex is not fulfilling and when she travels my mind goes outward with possibilities.

Full disclosure, I’ve drank some beers at home alone so this is totally candid and real🍻.

Any comments or advice appreciated. I really don’t have anyone to discuss this with.

I don’t know your wife or your guys’ relationship, but if this is something that you’re serious about,-like you Jack off thinking about it, cum, and it still seems like a good idea and something you don’t think you can live without-serious, then I think the best, most ethical thing to do is share this with your partner in the spirit of being open and honest.

Now, how you share it, how you word it, and how you explain it will make a big difference in the outcome.

If your wife is religious and less sexually liberated, this may be very upsetting, but on the other hand if she is relatively open-minded, it might turn into a real bonding experience.

Once you have communicated with her and she with you, you guys can together decide how to proceed from there.

MFM and MMF threesomes are fun as fuck. There is something about bringing 2 male’s sexual energy together with a female’s that creates more total sexual energy than the three combined individually if that makes sense, but only so long as everyone trusts and understands each other (and there is mutual attraction).

I suggest checking out the bisexual and bisexual male subreddits. They are chock full of people just like you and this very topic comes up literally daily.

Thanks for the response. I’m going to have to do some work finding out about subreddit.

I imagine it’s a common issue. I just needed to say it somewhere so. Again thank you.

Reddit is like a big conglomeration of discussion boards and individual boards are called “subreddits”. You can find subreddits about pretty much any topic you can think of.
Look for these subreddits:

/r bisexual
/r bisexualmen

Unfortunately, even with all the advancements LGBT issues have had in the public sphere over the last couple of decades, bisexuality remains sort of like the red-headed stepchild.
Straight people don’t understand bisexuality, and neither do gays/lesbians, so bisexuals get shit on from both directions and as a result most stay invisible, especially bisexuals in heterosexual relationships.

Of all sexualities and genders, it seems that male bisexuality is the least socially accepted.

Even in the swinger community, bi women are seen as almost a given, whereas bi men are shunned by some and male on male play is straight up not allowed at most parties and public events whereas the same exact event will invariably have tons of woman on woman play and that is totally encouraged.

Heck, a lot of the time I feel like a fraud myself because while I find dicks arousing and enjoy playing with them, I have never had any romantic attraction or feelings toward men. But I know I’m not 100% straight either 😂

Thanks. This is interesting conversation. This is relating to my situation. I’m not “into” guys. I really love dick. I want to experience more dick. That’s it . Simply. I want to know more Penis lol. That’s part of my interest in this community.

For me personally, I’ve always been a fan of genitals in general :) .

All the way back to kindergarten. I remember playing “doctor” with both boys and girls. I was just fascinated :)
As I became a teenager, peer and societal pressure made me think that any same-sex interests I had should be suppressed because they were “bad” because I didn’t want to be a “fag” or “queer”, but if I’m honest with myself they never went away.

I was also a late bloomer and there was part of me that was afraid to explore my bi-side before I lost my virginity to a woman because I thought that might what? Make me gay??? It sounds so stupid in retrospect, but it was almost like I had to prove to myself that I’m not gay.

Well, now in my late 30s I know that I’m definitely not gay. But also know I’m definitely not straight either ;)

Unfortunately, I didn’t have the self-confidence to confide in my wife about my bi-side when we first met and I kept it a secret long enough that she found out about the 1 same sex experience I had about a year before I met her because I had (anonymously at the time) posted about it online. She knew the handle I use online and ended up stumbling on it when googling that user name…
That almost ended our relationship because she had never given me reason not to trust her, yet I didn’t. Big mistake and one I desperately wish I could go back in time and change.

Luckily, she is an amazing and open-minded person, so once the sting of me not confiding in her dissipated and we had lots and lots of open, deep, and honest communication, we came out stronger and closer for it.

Unfortunately, finding a compatible bi guy we’re both attracted to, has been more difficult than finding hen’s teeth! (We swing so it’s an actual option :D )

Still, we have had some amazing experiences over the years with coupes and we are still on the lookout for the right single bi guy :D

That’s interesting. I’m 52. 4 years into my only marriage and I suppose that’s why I’m struggling. My communication skills aren’t the greatest, and I do fear hurting or losing my wife. I’ve “sown my seeds” so to speak, but never tried the guy thing. It’s something I’m working through… thanks again for communicating.

Dude, my communication skills sucked too. It’s one of the things I’m working on to this day. I come from a culture where you just hold shit in and try to deal with it privately by yourself.

It’s been a struggle for sure, so I totally relate.

I’m very lucky that my partner is the opposite and has nudged me (sometimes kicking and screaming) over the 12 years we’ve been together (married for 6 years next month) to open up and has always provided an environment where I could share anything openly without judgement. It’s always been a me thing, and it remains a me thing to overcome.

I wouldn’t tell her. You don’t know how she will react, and if it’s negative, it will be impossible to unring that bell. You could try looking on the internet, it probably wouldn’t be that difficult to find. Then you could try it just once. Until you do, it’s always going to be in your brain.

Don’t cheat on your wife.

I agree with you there.

Look, if you want to take this to the grave with you and leave it as a fantasy, that’s ok. Then you only have to live with yourself, but don’t hurt your partner by betraying her and the vows you took when you got married. Whether you’re religious or not, and I’m not, those vows should have meant something to YOU.
That is a real bell that can’t be un-rung. A much bigger bell than letting a fantasy stay a fantasy.

If you know for a fact that your wife would not be accepting or supportive, especially if there are religious reasons, and it would ruin your relationship, there is an argument to be made that it’s best kept to yourself and never acted upon.

If that’s not the case though, being so open and honest should bring you guys closer and make you respect each other even more. Her for being accepting of you and you for trusting her enough to be open about such a sensitive and personal thing, knowing full well there could be major blowback.

She has stated, she would never share me, and we’re never getting a divorce… and she would kill me if I was with another woman… so there’s that.
Perhaps simple fantasy is how it should remain.

Lol, my wife said very similar things at the start of our relationship.

She still says some pretty cray stuff about what she’d do if I cheated on her.
And I’m like: why the fuck would I cheat on you, woman? All I gotta do is ask for permission ;)

So somehow a mmf.with my wife and another guy seems.hot.

Problem is, my real fantasy is.to watch her with another guy as.if im in a louvered closet and that she will never know i was there or had a clue she did that.

For me.its the thrill of seeing how she fucks someone else vs. Me.

Realoistically, its a bad Idea brawndo, unring a bell and all imo.
Fwiw