Need advice

I heard about two months ago from a friend of a friend that someone I had briefly dated for only two months had a std. At the time that I found this out we had not really spoken since the break up and still haven’t to do this day. I was trying to get tested when I found out at my school but the time of the news went along with the time that the school was closing for winter break and I have not had the access to get tested yet. (Not been sexually active either btw).
To even more complicate the situation, I started dating one of her room mates after we broke up, long story, and she just had lunch with my girlfriend and one of the other room mates. She, the one with the std, never mentioned any of this to my current girlfriend who she knows I am intimate with. Granted, this isn’t something that you want to broadcast to everyone, but you would think that if there was a risk of spreading an std, they would take some action on it. (I totally accept I need to be as well, which is what leads to my question.)
How do I ask her? I really need to know what she has and when she found out. Basically, whether I have a chance of being infected. No symptoms of anything and I am going to get tested anyway, but that takes some weeks and I am going to see my girlfriend in a week and we are both concerned about this.
So hopefully all you wise men and women of Thunders can provide me with some help.

P.S. In regards to safe sex, a condom was always used in addition to birth control, except 1 time where literally there was about 8 seconds of intercourse where we tried without a condom. (Had issues about not wearing a rubber due to something else.) I know that it doesn’t really change the risk of infection to a yes/no but I just didn’t want condom flames. … Could smell the latex fires from here.

1) What is your age?

2) Unlikely you contracted anything in 8 seconds, but cannot completely rule it out. Since you have no symptoms its a good sign. I would definitely keep using protection and probably not have sex with anyone that may not have already been exposed.

What STD are you talking about? Some, like gonnorhea, are usually obvious in men, while others, like trich, are usually silent in men. In any case, if you are sexually active, it’s never a bad idea to get tested intermittently. Most cities have a free std clinic if insurance is an issue. Check out Planned Parenthood or the city/county cliic.

TD

luvdadus,
At the time I was involved I was 22, (only a couple days till my birthday), and this is not what I have in mind for a birthday present.

tenaciousD,

I don’t know what the STD is, I need to ask her so that I can know if there is a risk I was infected with it.

The problem is that I still don’t know how to call her up and ask her. Sigh….

Thanks for the great replies so far.

My advice, don’t sleep with anyone until you get tested and get the results. you don’t want to take the chance of spreading it to anyone else.

Even if you ask your ex, how can you be sure she didn’t have it when you two were together. You may not have gotten anything in that 8 seconds but even so wearing a condom it isn’t 100% safe for pregnancy or std control.

Get tested then have sex.

Luvdadus (or someone else that knows),

What std:s can be tested? I once went to the doctor to do a test, and I said that I wanted to test all std:s that were possible. She asked me if I had any symptoms, which I hadn’t, and then they only tested me for clamydia and HIV.

For example I think about papilloma virus, that I’ve heard that you can have for a long time without symptoms. Do you get symptoms fast from all other std:s, or it is just impossible to test them?

Most std’s would be symptomatic in you by now, but not all. Go to a clinic and get tested. They’ll ask you some questions about symptoms you might have had. Tell them you had brief, unprotected intercourse once and are concerned.

You will probably come through the testing clear, but at least get checked out.

Then, next time, don’t enter before you put the condom on. They are not foolproof as has been pointed out, but they are highly effective IF you have one on.

Having done that, you do not need to call the ex g/f. She may well have had sex with others since you months ago. That is her business.

If, though, you do turn up positive with something, call her and tell her. She is sleeping with others. You will, too. What goes around comes around.

Well just to give an update; I did call the dreaded ex-girlfriend because I figured that would be the fastest way to know if something was going on. I still plan on getting tested just to know for sure.

Never under estimate the power of small talk! I called her and tried to be as casual and humorous as possible, albeit no CaptnHook, and then once I got things rolling a little bit I just told her that I discreetly found out that it was possible that she had an std and I wanted to know if she was okay and whether I needed to be tested.

There was that great silence as I was talking and then after she heard the whole thing she was like I don’t know who you heard that from but the only person I told was [the girl who it started from] and it wasn’t an std but a “girly thing” that I couldn’t get anyway. She then further told me that she would have called me if she did have something.

So all I can say is: “PHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEW!”

I am definately going to get tested because you never know, but at least for now I can get a little more peace of mind. Just thought I should outline how I did it in case some other guy has to ever go through this dreaded phone call.

I hope she doesn’t think Herpes is a “girly thing.” Just kidding, I’m sure you’re fine.