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Have you tried desensitization through absolutely stupid amounts of porn? Some people can’t even get hard after that, but I’ve found I can still pitch tents, I just am difficult to make cum. Maybe give it a shot? Either way, a few weeks off of it and the effect will be reversed, might be worth a shot.
Well, what helped me most is everyday death grip masturbation to porn. It really helped. I couldn’t last indefinitely at slow thrusting before, now I can.
But high speed isn’t mastered yet. Probably because I don’t adhere to death grip last weeks well, and I don’t masturbate every day. I should go for 15 minutes of death grip everyday.
Kegels would help, but you should do them right way. Stress BC, not PC muscle. It can be tested rather easily. Hold one finger on your anus, and hold your dick with two - just hold, no pressure. Then kegel. If you feel that only your anus contracts - you’re doing wrong. If anus contracts and dick retracts into body for about 1 cm - normal, keep going. If dick retracts and anus doesn’t contract - excellent!
Now, there are probably both psychological and physiological reasons for quick cumming at high speed - moans are stimulating, and ball slapping is as well.
With Fleshlight and a proper way of attaching it to some furniture ( btw, they sell a Fleshlight stand to attach it to) you can thrust and slap balls against the furniture, which may help you. I have neither, so only option I’ve got is to shave balls and pube - it helps, really, quite considerable difference.
For mental thing, I use so-called “counting” method - I breath slowly and deeply, sometimes holding breath with no air in lungs, and count frictions. Even better if you not just count, but cycle - say, 8 deep thrusts - 8 shallow - etc. Change pattern and count everything, it distracts your mind. To reduse arousal, slow down, reverse kegel slightly, inhale deeply, and exhale as quickly as you can. Really as quickly? and repeat 2-3 times. Helps as well. If you’re not too aroused, you can just exhale that way without slowdown.
And finally, a “cul-de-sac” thrusting also helps. Get as deep as possible, and go quick thrusts with low amplitude - 1 cm at most, better somewhat less. It’s really pleasurable for women (probably not all of them, of course), and allows you to relax somewhat. But don’t forget to load you up mentally there, as moans can get quite loud.