Penile Ocd
It’s been two years since I remember posting on this site. One of the reasons I stopped is I realized that my obsession was getting worse, hurting my relationships— and probably being the cause of a breakup that was somewhat devastating—in part because I felt the rediculous guilt associated with this mental illness. At this time, I was what one would objectively call on the larger side. I was close to 7” NBP and at points before that I had passed it. BP I have seen as high as 8.25 over the top with an optimal erection. For all intensive purposes, I am almost certain based on experience and my obsession with stats that I am in rarefied territory in length, certainly in the top 10%, likely in the top 5%. Too deep as you may imagine can often be an issue. As for Girth, I use to measure incorrectly. Measuring girth, I have come to find is something that actually takes a good bit of practice, coordination, and I wouldn’t surprise me if the vast majority of people measure incorrectly even if they have seen tutorials. That said, My girth at it’s maximum mid-shaft is about 5.2”. (3/4 up the shaft). And a tad less as the base. This with using a paper strip (Which my mind makes me use because it’s the most austere measurement for me) and I am sort of hour glass shaped, and so it dips below 5 in the center, unless I’m really cheating the measurement. I don’t have problems really with girth outside of normal entry, rug-burn, and in not so many cases teeth. In the past I’ve worn magnum condoms without a problem.
The reason I am being detailed is because I want people to see that I am (at least in one dimension, very far above average) and in the other about average, or perhaps even a bit above, and this is my story:
After getting out of a relationship, where I believe my obsessions were getting the best of me or us, I committed myself to sort of backing out of the whole PE thing, I want to sort of keep what I had and just be satisfied, for me the whole chasing after to be in the 1% of penile dimensions just seemed like a waste of time, if I could be markedly above average, I could go focus on something else. For two years, my obsessions ebbed and flowed. Sometimes it would be researching websites, other times it would be an hour or a few hours with the ruler, but I found that this only happened every 6 months, maybe less. I started receiving counseling and that helped a bit, and then I had some other life experiences that lead me away from this kind of activity and I started to experience the thoughts a little less frequently, I would have occassional OCD attacks, but I was able to manage better than before.
More recently, however things have come back due to a bad experience (or that’s how I framed it). I would enroll in counseling, but my insurance won’t kick in for another few weeks. The reason I am coming to you all now is that it’s gotten to the point where it’s effecting my work. It feels weird to state the extent of my obsession, but I will do so to
Make this thread more helpful for other readers. I have lost hours of my day debating over whether or not I was actually above average based on a certain study because I kegeled before measuring girth, I have lost hours on the web, I have lost weekend nights, I have in all honesty lost the better part of my 20’s being concerned with my size. The kicker is I have usually been regarded as a good partner, and I am starting to have some success in my career, but while this obsession get’s worse it’s hindering my ability to put my focus where I wish it would be. I don’t want my career to be hindered, and I don’t want to chase people out of my life. The worse thing about this is that it feels like a very shameful and embarassing obsession. It’s not something you just go to your friends with.
I would really like to have a healthy love life in the future, I would like to be able to re-frame my focus elsewhere. Optimally I would keep doing the whole PE thing, and just take anything that maybe comes with it, but it doesn’t seem like I can anymore. So please, if anyone has learned to manage these feelings— by what mechanisms have you done so?
I have found that extremely intense exercise (I am talking until you can’t breathe), counseling, creating a new experience from either travel or moving, Having a girl compliment you have all worked to temporarily remove the angst, but it’s far from a cure all.
Thanks so much to anyone with advice.
