Edging/ED/Mental Conditioning - Perhaps we should give ear to some of this?

I know this may not be an exciting topic for most of us, but I have been curious about edging and its psychological and chemical impact, and I can’t deny the logic of continuous hormone elevation and so on…

I suppose if this perspective is undeniable, what are our thoughts on getting in the necessary PE time while simultaneously trying to limit porn stimulation? Does anyone think it’s feasible to try and train yourself to PE, even clamp+edge to imaginations of your significant other, etc.?

Or is it that they approach the issue with the opposite assumptions… if gaining and pleasure are the highest priorities, then edging is perfectly naturally the means to that end (even though it means sex is less important)?

I think edging to thoughts of your significant other or stimulating photos of them is a great idea!

On that note, I have put some serious thought into that as well. Let me expound…

I work overseas, so my time with my girlfriend is about 1 month every 3-4 months. Basically, it’s like 3 months of PE and porn followed by a month of sex sex sex, and there are both good and bad sides to this. When I come home, there’s that reuniting bliss and new experiences all over again and so on, and we kind of wear ourselves out by the time I have to work anyway, and by that time I’m sort of yearning for porn again (not that I miss it when we are together, in fact I haven’t really had any urges to sneak of at all, which is cool). Anyway, when I return to work (and my computer) it’s kind of exciting and for a week or two, it’s like the old days… truly the fappening manifest.

Then a strange thing happens. I don’t know if this is 100% but it seems to happen every cycle. Porn starts to get a bit monotonous again, and I start switching back to the “girlfriend stash” which is pretty much all screen grabs from our skype sessions. I will say we don’t do mutual masturbation much but all it takes is the images of her smiling and taking her top off to massage her new boobs and Woody is back with a vengeance.

Now of course I’m a tit man, so naturally I am turned on by her, but let’s be honest, pornstars in HD should be as “effective” as you can get, but here I am, turned on ten times as much by this girl I love and miss, who is definitely working on her own pornstar bod, but it’s undeniably the emotional history that makes it better.

Now the question is, given the “cyclic” nature of male arousal, pursuit and reward, security and wanderlust, etc. what is the healthiest balance? Being away makes the “heart grow fonder”, being together brings a certain monotony and desire for adventure/challenge, and all the while there’s this question of porn vs. real sex… since we are the de facto pros of masturbation, we know it’s quite the competition!

We know fairly well how when one gives up the thrill of internet porn, the eroticism of real relationships can grow stronger and more meaningful. What then, is the position of “girlfriend porn”? It seems that it draws upon the strength of emotional connection and can feel more real to us because of our experiential memories, but at the same time, the elevated dopamine levels still have their detrimental effect, and all the while if we spend all our time masturbating to the memory of the sex we are going home to, are we not making deposits into the monotony bank?

(this last one probably depends on whether the Christians or the hedonists are right… I’m still not even sure, in my case… is chastity and sole devotion to one sexual partner a recipe for the greatest emotional and sexual bliss, or is sexual desire/pleasure/reward subject inevitably to a never ending “growth”, requiring bigger, better, more, even to the point of multiple or ever-changing partners?)

I think we are meant for one partner and the bond it creates makes for the healthiest of relationships. For me I never tire of taking or looking pictures of the intimate times of my marriage.

Do I still look at porn? Yes I do. Would I rather be having sex with my wife rather than looking at her pics or porn? Absolutely. The high point of sex for me is seeing her orgasm. I derive a huge amount of satisfaction when she has rolling orgasms.

I think getting sexually bored from one relationship is just natural. If there weren’t porn, you either were cheating on her or become depressed. So porn isn’t bad per se in a balanced system, so to speak.

I think you’re right marinera, I know if I could forget porn ever existed I’d probably be better off psychologically, but it’s very useful as a tool to tame the wanderlust urge. If it didn’t get (relatively) bored of it after a few weeks, I’d probably be more worried about being “broken” in the brain or “porn addicted”, but my observation is that it all fits into a fairly healthy balance.

Everybody is bored at some point.That’s why we cheat, watch porn or get depressed. Boredom can kill you. In fact in the past I have read an article in a medical magazine that in theory there is a chance to actually die out of boredom. Has something to do with the brain chemical reactions to not finding anything interesting. Bollocks!