Saved by her period
I haven’t been an active member of Thunder’s for years now. But, since I see right now that things have truly improved, I’m extremely tempted to change my ways again.
I’ve had pretty good PE gains, but since I’ve stopped, all that I gained has disappeared. Now I’m close to average again. I am here desperately needing someone’s support in any way shape of form - whether it’s of the “get of your ass…” variety, or just plain old “I know the feels, bro…”. If you have advice to share, I would appreciate that too.
Last night a girl I recently met (and started to like) and I were making out at her house. Usually, she’s the nicest girl you’ll ever meet, and also very shy. The “foreplay” (or rather her constant stalling due to shyness) lasted for hours. We’ve already “failed” at one attempt the night before because such stalling is not really compatible with my ED. My penis was erect most of the 3-hour long “foreplay”, but again last night it failed when I needed it the most.
This would’ve been demoralizing enough by itself, if not for what happened next. We started talking about it. It was clear she was extremely frustrated, but to her credit she tried to be as compassionate about it as she could. The topic changed to previous sex partners, and at first we started to have a laugh about previous disastrous sex experiences. But the next change in topic caught me really off guard. She started to talk about her ex whom she really dislikes (a continuation of a discussion we had the previous day) and I started poking fun at the fact that she used to date such a spineless jealous freak for way too long. She replied absentmindedly, “yeah, but he was awesome in bed. I can’t even describe it. He had a really really huge cock and he could really get me off any time”.
Luckily it was night and lights were out, because my face shaped into a painful grimace, I twitched and felt blood rushing to my cheeks. It was horrible. Not just WHAT she said at the most inappropriate moment, but how her tone changed. She clearly went into a deeper trans with every next word of the sentence and a creepy smile was forming on her face as she was clearly reliving some intense memory. I had no idea she was a size-queen - absolutely none. Usually I can detect such girls early and stay away, but this one was a surprise. And I really like her.
Now my ED problems went from partially psychological to absolutely psychological. I can’t remember the last time I’ve felt so useless and inadequate. I don’t really remember what she was saying from that moment on, but I do know she kept talking about it for a while, completely oblivious to the kind of mindset she was putting me into.
Two hours later, she got her period - surprisingly 10 days too early. She panicked and I felt relief at the distraction. It’s morning now, I’ve slept over and got up early, put my clothes on and came up with an excuse to go home. Didn’t really sleep last night. On my way home, I remembered Thunder’s Place community and thought I might get some understanding and support from you guys.
Sorry for the long post, I just had to share this with someone.