Sexual amateur seeks advice :)

Hey guys

So me and my girlfriend are gonna be having sex when she gets back from a trip around the country (a little over a week). We have had ‘intercourse’ a couple of times, and it was kind of fumbly both times, because its the first time for both of us. Not real sex really, just pentration for a couple of minutes to see how it went.

Now basically next time I don’t want to suck. Last time we tried I was fairly nervous and getting hard was a bit of an issue but I’ve gained a little size since then and after many PC workouts my erections are stronger, so that shouldn’t be a problem.

I just wanna know basically what I have to do besides put it in.

I hope I don’t sound like too much of a dick.

Its just theres clitoral stimulation which always works great, and g-spot stimulation which also does. But I can only fathom so much a dick can do. It can’t stimulate either the clit or g-spot (unless in doggie style I guess).

So any tips guys? It would be much appreciated.

I’m kind of worried because the times I have penetrated briefly before she asked if it was in both times. Doesn’t do much good for my self-penis-image. :(

The more playing you do together before you put it in, the better it will work out for both of you.

Women are not passive receptacles, either. They need to do some playing with the object they are going to receive before they receive it.

Once you are in, allow yourself some time to experience the new sensations. Allow her to experience the feeling of you inside her. Sex is a lot more than “pump and grind.” It may be the most intimate thing humans can do with each other, when you think about it.

Well, if you’ll accept advice from another gay guy…

Make sure you have time. Don’t rush things because either of you have to be somewhere or because the place you’re in will have others coming in later. Pick a place that’s quiet and nice and in which you can be free to move around, go to the bathroom, etc. without having to get dressed or without having to deal with other people.

Pay attention to her, not her pussy per se. Obviously the pussy is important, but she wants you to be there for her. Talk. Ask her what she wants you to do. Be slow and gentle. Kiss. Touch her gently all over. Look in her eyes. Stroke her hair.

Don’t be all hands and grabby. Don’t go for the pussy first. FOREPLAY! Foreplay makes all the difference in the outcome. You can excite her in various ways, she can do the same for you. Don’t make her do things she doesn’t want to do, like suck your cock. She might do it later when you two have more experience together.

Talk dirty, but in a nice way and not all at once. There’s a thread around here about that.

Have her assist with the condom. Learn about using it together.

When vaginal penetration time is there, be gentle. Let her help you in. Try it in different positions: you on top, her on top, both on your sides, doggy. Don’t rush to cum. If you get close, tell her you are close and need to slow down so you can continue with HER pleasure. Since you’re new at it you probably haven’t developed any techniques for multiple male orgasm or for lasting a long time, so once you cum that will probably be the end of it for a while. So try to control yourself and take it easy when you get close to cumming so both of you can have a longer time at it.

When you’re finished, don’t leave her. Cuddle. Stay close. Do sort of a end-play using foreplay techniques. Kiss.

I’m sure drgmerlin will have a lot to say. He tells some great stories.

Good luck.

awww,

>I just wanna know basically what I have to do besides put it in.<

In a round the houses way I have been asking the same question. People dont seem too interested in telling the answer, maybe its the way I frame the question….

From what I can gather, the best way (or one good way of many), is to aim for the cds, and the way to reach is best is positions where her thighs are ‘up’, close to her belly, like missionary with her legs on your shoulders, or her on top leaning forward. I least I think so….

Yeah. Merlin has some good stories, Luv and RB also give good advice.

SS4

You have a good length at 7.1 ebpl and average girth at 4.9.

Take your time. spend 10 min at first base (kissing), 5 min at second base breasts and other sensual non genital stroking, 5-10 min at 3rd base (oral or manual clit/pussy play before rounding the plate and going home.

When you do use only about 5 1/2” max at first, gradually increasing depth of stroke. Usually after a few minutes of this they will try to dig heels into your ass to pull you in all the way. If she never had kids before with 7.1 you have a good chance of getting to the cds, if not the anterior fornix is just about as good. Good luck!!

BTW sex is always clumsy. Editing is what makes it look smooth in porno flicks.

aw,

Listen to these guys. Westla brought out very good points, follow them.

Sex is something to be savored, not scarfed. Take your time, explore each others bodies. I know that it is hard when you want to so badly, but the pay off is wonderful.

Go read the flirtation/seduction thread, that has lots of good points in it. And luvaduds is right, sex is always kinda clumsy, have fun with that, don’t let your anxiety get the better of you. Remember, she is nervous too, and I can tell you from experience, that will cause the flow to cease. And dry sex is painful. Trust me when I tell you that you want your first time, and I mean for more than a couple of minutes to see how it goes, to be special and wonderful. You can only succeed at that by taking time.

luvdadus, is it your experience (knowledge) that the cds changes position after having kids?
If I understood correctly, that is what you are implying. Does it move further down after pregnancy? Is this a permanent movement? My wife seemed to always have to put it in slowly but recently, when she gets on top, she can take my 7.25” in one thrust. I know that in some positions, she can’t take it all in at once, and I wonder if I am hitting her cervix then. I never took the time to really feel what I am hitting in the vagina. Last night I was concentrating more on being aware of what I am hitting there, I wasn’t sure if I got the cds, but it definitely made it a better sex to be aware of what you are doing there. Surprisingly, being more aware of what my penis was feeling in her vagina, it made me last longer. I was able to better control my orgasm by knowing what my penis was feeling. I always tried to do the opposite, that is to take my mind off of that area or even off of sex. It seems that the more involved you get in sex with your mind, the more understanding you have of what is going on at the time and you are able to better control your actions.

One last question. I remember that some time ago, you had a thread about cds and menstrual cycle. I guess I’ll try to do a search on it, and reread what you wrote about position of the cervix during different stages of the cycle. But if anyone has a link to that thread, I’ll be grateful if you posted it here. Thanks.

>>luvdadus, is it your experience (knowledge) that the cds changes position after having kids?>>

I think that the tissues become more stretched out in general and a little more length is required to put a good stretch on it compared to before childbirth. eg if 6.5 or 7 sufficed for cds stim before maybe 7-8 works the same after.

>>If I understood correctly, that is what you are implying. Does it move further down after pregnancy? Is this a permanent movement? >>

Not sure that it is deeper, just may need more length to get sufficiently stretched for the desired effect. I think that whatever the tissues return to by say a year or so after birth is what they essentially stay with barring new developements.

>>I know that in some positions, she can’t take it all in at once, and I wonder if I am hitting her cervix then. >>

Some women don’t seem to mind thier cervix being nudged my wife doesn’t mind it. I DO think that a head on collision or a sudden “flipping” of it could be unpleasant.

>>One last question. I remember that some time ago, you had a thread about cds and menstrual cycle. >>

depth of cervix and hence depth of the adjacenty cds is most shallow just after the menses. Maxes out 9-12 days later. gradually returns toward, but does not quite get back to the original position prior to menses. Guys with a lot of length need to take more time on the “shallow” days to avoid discomfort. Guys with less lenght have there best chance to get to stimulating the cds on these days.

Awwwshucks,

I don’t know if this will be helpful since you claim you kind of already had sex together, but this was a problem for me my first time.

When it is time for penetration, one can’t just slide it in and begin having sex. Especially if the girl is a virgin, you must slowly work it in. This was alot more difficult than I thought. I always envisioned just sliding it in, but that is not how it works.

First, you must position your penis at the opening (it’s much easier if the girl grabs your penis and positions it correctly at the opening before insertion because you may be just a little high or low if trying to do it yourself). Begin sliding your penis in. You will quickly meet resistance if she is a virgin; you may only get the head in. Do not just push harder to break past the resistance. You must slide back and then slide forward again. Each time you’ll make it a little farther. This gives her a chance to widen up and makes the whole experience better. Do this until you’re all the way in.

It may sound logical to do all of this, but my first time I never thought to pull back when meeting resistance; I just pushed harder. Pornos (at least the ones I’ve seen) don’t seem to show any work with penetration. They just show the penis slide all the way in the first stroke. This isn’t true. To this day, I still have to do 10 to 15 seconds of short quick strokes to open my wife up before normal thrusting can begin.

The others have touched on great points, so I won’t add anything after you’ve successfully penetrated.

Wear a condom…

One thing that helped me out a great deal when I was having my PE problems was being good at oral… Extend the foreplay out as long as you are able… Start out at her head and work your way down to her toes… I would spend more then a little time ‘gently’ using your tounge on her cat and as long as she is a clean girl lick that ass a good couple of times as well…

I wish you the best, follow the other guys words and mine and you will have a great time… Whatever you do don’t worry and stew about it if she is not as excited to get into things as you are when she gets back.. I know the 2nd girl I spent time with was all excited then backed out of the deal on the 2nd thrust… Girls are odd this way and what is important to you might not be as important to her… Good luck!