Sick of problems gaining erections/Should I just use Viagra?

(Sorry if this thread has been done before, I searched and didn’t find any duplicates, plus mine may be different to others in terms of personal specificity)

So I’ve been having problems getting erections when I’m involved in a sexual act pretty much all my life with girls. Even a partner who I’ve had sex with more than once I never felt that my erections during penetration maintained themselves enough.

I wonder if I should just start using Viagra for such first time encounters? As nothing else seems to work, Kegelling hasn’t solved this problem.

I wonder if anyone here can help and advise?

To be more personal, today I got invited to a group sex session. Basically sex and oral pleasure from girls was 100% to happen. Yet I seemed to be the only guy standing there who frustratedley could not achieve an erection as well as everyone else. OK not every could get 100% erections but they got theirs more hard than I did. I ended up not even getting sex from this situation.

And with that, everything hit home. All the other sexual experiences I lost due to not getting an erection in my life, or my lack of maintenance of being fully hard with a long term partner.

I was texting a girl for an incredibly long time who would constantly try to persuade me to come to her place for sex. This is a girl I have deep feelings for, even though we’ve never met (that’s crazy but for a different subject), and I just know that after all our flirting and me acting like Mr Big and Cool, that when I go to her instead of the all night sex I say I’ll give her, the reality will just be me laying on her bed next to her trying to get myself hard whilst she probably kicks me out.

So enough is enough. I wonder what I should do about all this? I hear more and more about people taking Viagra, including guys at this gang bang today, and some friends of mine too, who I always thought were sex gods who didn’t need Viagra.

I’m 43 now, and though I’ve had so little sex in the past, maybe I was better at getting it up back then and now my sexual strength has gone down, so maybe Viagra has to be accepted and it isn’t such a bad thing for someone in my position to do.

I don’t want to keep on having sexual experiences slip through my fingers and I’m not posting this to go off track and be told that these sexual experiences aren’t worth it as their first time/casual/girl not worth it and it’s only first time nerves etc. I just want to find a way to get hard for first time encounters or long term encounters as I can’t go on living with this problem.

Sorry this is a long post. I kinda need to get a lot of stress off here after today’s ultimate disappointment and re-examination of myself and you guys are pretty much the only people online I can come to for this, so I really would appreciate your help. I know I’ve been a bit ratty in the past with advice seeking but I’ve kinda put that behind me now as I think it’s a rotten way to reward compassion from people trying to help me.

So anyone at Thunder’s Place, please advise. Are there ways to gain and maintain an erection for my encounters apart from Viagra, or should I just go for it and use this drug?

You should see an andrologist.

Thank you. I don’t know what an Andrologist is but I will look it up now.

EDIT. Looked it up. I will ask my GP for a referral. I may have to exaggerate a bit to make sure that referral will happen. Thank you very much for this advice.

Sounds like it’s more of a psychological thing rather than physical? If you can get hard easily when alone or watching porn its psychological, I began to have erection struggles after I failed get hard while too drunk a couple of times then after that I’d constantly place pressure on myself through fear of it happening again so because I was thinking it it would happen, it’s a real pain because it’s difficult not to think about it, the way I overcame this was to admit to myself it could happen but it’s not that big of a deal because I have a tongue & honestly most girls understand too & if you don’t make it seem like a huge deal she won’t but I also took Cialis just to help everything & soon the issue was gone, when I have a big night I still take a Cialis just in case though so it definitely does help, FYI Cialis has a much greater half life than Viagra it usually has a positive affect for around 72hrs

Thank you. Yes it’s mostly psychological. I get erections easily at home. I think it’s mentally uncomfortable situations, or as yesterday’s group sex event showed, maybe physical too - as I had to get an erection standing up, maybe that cold floor didn’t help but at the end of the day, if I could get an erection more easily generally speaking, I would have got through those physical problems and gained and maintained my hardness.

But at the end of the day, it’s too hard to program my mind for new encounters and the different physical or psychological barriers that they will create. Having constantly new sexual encounters all the time would help, but heh that’s not gonna happen for a while.

I’ll look into Cialis, god knows I get enough junk mail about this all the time, thanks.

Of course I wonder how long the erection may hang about for and if it may become unwanted. Also I may need to use some form of erection drug that kicks in fast and doesn’t outstay it’s welcome.

I should say that in talking to men at this event yesterday, some did suspect that others were using some form of erection drug, and one guy said that he used a quarter tablet of Viagra in the past to ‘enhance’ things. I would love to know for real who did use Viagra or some drug yesterday, it would reassure me to how common my problem is and how common such drugs are used. (1 in 5 men use it online research says)

It won’t keep you hard for days I worried about that too lol, from what I’ve read whatever chemical is released in order for you to get an erection the Cialis just enhances that so you’ll only get hard when you’re turned on, from my experience this is true although us guys think about sex a lot & I didn’t realise actually how much I did until I took Cialis because I’d be up n down all damn day just at the thought of it haha

Thanks. I’ll read up a bit but heck, I’ll try this as well as Viagra at home, see what the differences are.

I have virtually no sexual experience at the moment, so I don’t mind having 72 hours worth of extra erections after any sexual encounter - hehe maybe I might get stares from girls on trains if they see a slight bulge in my jeans, I know they do this.

Do you watch porn? If so how much?

Not much.

Anyway, I’ve been to see the doctor, told her my problems. She advises that after my blood test comes in, which should show no problems like diabetes contributing to my condition (as I did medical trials and they show I’m fine), she said she will prescribe appropriate Viagra-type of drugs, but also send me to a sex counsellor. I’ve been to one before, didn’t like it much, but will try a new one, see how it goes.

She may send me to an Urologist too.

Sounds like classic performance anxiety.

Yes it is. I believe I got it, just can’t shake it. I don’t have enough regular sexual encounters to allow me to ‘practice’ getting over it via consistency, so it’s a vicious circle right now.

Would be nice if I could combat my problems via my mind so that I get erect all the time it’s required, but I don’t think that I can do that with the toughest of self brain training and discipline or seeing a counsellor. That’s why I think Viagra or the like would be good, maybe it will get me to a stage of mental ease where I will no longer need it?

I have this issue too. I’m convinced its condom related and anxiety. I can’t feel much when I have a condom on. 1 girl was really wet and I didn’t even know it till I felt my penis after it slipped out.

I’m also constantly worried if the girl is even enjoying it or if she’s faking it. This makes me limp as well.

Sorry about that dude. If you’re having similar problems as me, then maybe you should see a doctor about it like I am. They’ll tell you what to do in regards to taking medication or not, what condoms to use, or whether some other action is needed. But they may be the best to advise on it. Even your mental concerns such as the girl enjoying it or not.

I can’t feel a bloody thing with a condom on, or even without. It’s all wet and mushy inside a vagina so I have no bloody clue either.

I think most times the girl is enjoying it. If she’s faking, well then she’s faking it with others as well as you, so it shouldn’t be taken too personally. Most girls state they don’t get off on penis penetration really, and that they prefer oral stimulation to get them off.

But yeah, post up some threads online or read up, but seek actual person to person advice too. Fuck this problem, go out and end it. Life is running out all the time and you’re better off solving this problem for when you meet a girl you want to spend the rest of it with, then meet her when you’re still having these problems with and letting her slip away because of it.

I don’t mean to have stalled on solving this problem, but because I am trying to get onto a Medical Trial and they request a GP report, I have had to abstain from pursuing this erection problem with my Doctor, at least until I finish a trial, as details of this goes on my GP report to the trial unit, which could affect my chances of getting onto a trial.

Is it a good idea to get Viagra online instead? I am considering the side effects and the best places to get it online or the best product, I know there may be an online questionaire to do with a doctor before I get viagra or Cialis approved.

Or can I get this over the counter at some pharmacies too?

Any advice is very appreciated.

Well I’ve been using Cialis pills, then used herbal extra strong Viagra pills, both on different occasions.

At best results I’ve gotten with Viagra pills, I still have problems maintaining an erect penis. I’ve had sex at sex parties and I find it incredibly difficult when wearing a condom and being inside a girl to keep whatever erection I can muster up.

At best I must be around 80% hard. I enter into a girl and pump in and out, but it’s not long until my penis gets soft again and I have to withdraw. This is with Viagra - which is meant to be the magical solution to getting an erection.

It leaves me again feeling like I’m the exception, the only person on the planet that 1. Can’t get a longer erect penis with all the penis stretching techniques discussed on this site. 2. Can’t get a reliable erection using Viagra.

WTF is wrong with me and my penis why such things that work for others don’t work for me?

I thought that Viagra would help keep my penis erect like it has other people. But it doesn’t with me.

What can I do to get an erection and maintain it during intercourse???