"Your penis is too small" comments may lead men to suicide

Men risk long-term anxiety and depression if they are unable to perform sexually, according to an extensive study by an expert on men’s sexual health.

Sexual dysfunction ‘may lead to suicide’
By Carol Nader
September 28, 2003

Men risk long-term anxiety and depression if they are unable to perform sexually, according to an extensive study by an expert on men’s sexual health.

The depression that results from sexual dysfunction may also go some way to explaining higher rates of suicide among older men, the study suggests.

Bill Ohehir, a senior consultant psychologist of 18 years who runs relationship workshops for men, and is author of Men’s Health: Uncovering the Mystery, is halfway through a five-year study on sexual dysfunction in men. To date, 400 men and women in urban and rural areas across the nation have been interviewed about the issue, which he says worries men more than their health.

“I would say that there would be an element of sexual problems associated with many men who experience depression and anxiety, some of whom suicide,” he said.

Women who criticise their partners’ sexual performance may contribute to the problem.

“If a woman says, ‘I can’t climax’ or ‘your penis is too small’ or ‘you’re a lousy lover’ … I don’t even think they say it in a vindictive way but the bloke takes it to heart,” Mr Ohehir said. “When that relationship fails, he then carries it into the next relationship or, worse still, he doesn’t get into another relationship.”

To cope with a relationship breakdown, some men may withdraw to “the good old Aussie shed”, creating a parallel relationship in which the couple live separate lives in the same home, or they may spend hours in the pub. The amount of alcohol used to cope with or suppress problems was amazing, Mr Ohehir said. Drugs such as Viagra treated the physical rather than emotional problem of sexual dysfunction, so that women may be “coerced” back into a sexual relationship but were still unsatisfied.

A recent study published in the Australian and New Zealand Journal of Public Health found teenage males and those aged over 50 were most likely to feel anxious about their sexual performance.

Women who encourage intimacy and talk about their needs in a non-confrontational way may have an uplifting effect on their men. “Good communication is the key to a happy sexual relationship,” says Andrew Pattison, a GP and Melbourne University lecturer in men’s health.

Impotence could also be an indication of health problems such as diabetes, high blood pressure and cardiovascular disease.

Christopher Fairley, of the Melbourne Sexual Health Centre, said research showed that gay men were 30 per cent more likely to experience sexual difficulties.