I just.can't.cum

Hey guys, this is my first post here, and it actually has more to do with sex than PE, but I’m hoping someone might be able to help me anyway.

I’ve been seeing my girlfriend for about a month now, and she is incredible in bed. Our first time was nearly overwhelming, it was all I could do to not cum in the first 5 minutes. After that, I did a lot of kegels, and during sex I would visualize something unrelated to sex, and I quickly learned to hold back my orgasm. The only problem is, after she cums, I can’t get myself to anymore! Our last time, she came twice in maybe 30 - 40 minutes, and another hour and a half later, I still couldn’t get off! Eventually she started getting sore and finished me off by hand (which seems to be considerably easier.) I think it kind of ruined the experience a little. I feel bad about it. She even said I was the best she’d ever had *except* for that. So here’s my question:

Once you figure out how not to cum, how do you learn how TO cum?

Damn it I sure wish I had your problem.

Any meds currently taken? Paxil for example.

Looks like it could all be in your big head, so relax and learn to enjoy stuff. Looks like you brainwashed yourself to not cum and can’t let go of that mindset.

Are you Catholic/religious, afraid of knocking her up, or don’t really care for her? These are usually supposed symptoms of a problem called ejaculatory incompetence.

I’m actually very against drugs like paxil.. I’m not religious in the way I think you’re talking about. I may be slightly afraid of pregnancy, but I’m very careful about that. I do care a lot for her.

There are times in the first, say, ten minutes that I could have cum, but I held it back. After her first orgasm I might have been able to again, but I could see her getting all worked up for the second one so I held back again. After that I just couldn’t let it go. As a side note, when she used her hands at that point, it only took a couple minutes, having already been pretty worked up from 2 hours of sex. I mean it’s all the same to me, I just think it would have been more special to her if I came inside her.

Btw mr 6inch, when I felt myself getting close I would tighten my pc(bc?) muscles and think about the beach or a forest or something peaceful and it would help me hold out

“After her first orgasm I might have been able to again, but I could see her getting all worked up for the second one so I held back again. After that I just couldn’t let it go.”

It’s not as bad, then, as you think. You could cum after her first orgasm but you go on to wait for a second then get blocked.

Sounds to me like you are onto something good. The way you describe it, you can cum anytime up to or after her first orgasm, which probably takes a nice while. Those times when you want to get off earlier do so, but the times when you decide to hold off, settle for the hand job - which I am sure is not too shabby an orgasm.