Lack of pleasure

Hi everyone,

I am posting this here as I couldn’t post it in male sexual health which would be more relevant.

I am a 43-year-old male. I have this problem of not really enjoying sex physically until ejaculation. This was mostly like this as far as I can remember. I mean, during the intercourse, until I get close to ejaculation, it is more like a physical exercise for me. When I start getting close, I start getting pleasure but then I ejaculate and only during those moments I get the pleasure. It is not like I don’t feel anything, I mean, I feel the pressure around the penis, but this doesn’t give pleasure before it builds up and I get close to ejaculation. So I think I enjoy mostly the psychological aspect of having sex with a woman, satisfying her, etc. I don’t know if this is some kind of premature ejaculation, but the thing is I can last at least 5-6 minutes. I always use a condom, I know this also is a factor but I’m thinking, what might be wrong. Has any of you experience such a problem? Any suggestions? Thanks.

Do you masturbate? If so, what do you fantasize about?

I do sometimes, mostly watching porn, but not that often.

Are your sexual encounters inline with your fantasies?

I can’t say I have prominent fantasies.

Have you ever had high blood sugar? High blood sugar can wreak havoc in the body and cause damage to nerves, which over time can lead to less sensitivity in your penis. Other factors that could account for this might be heavy masturbation to porn, which can make your penis get used to and respond to certain kinds of stimulation more than others. Also, aging can be a factor as well. Over time, your skin changes and has a slower cellular turnover which can lead to thickening and less sensation.

That used to be my problem. I realized I had quite a bit of keratin build up on my unit, due to general wear and tear and age. It’s worse if you’re circumcised as well, because in intact men, the foreskin protects and moistens the sensitive skin of the glans. If you’re cut though, that protection is gone so you need to intervene to fix it. What I did was:

1) Use a dick moisturizing and skin regenerating cream. I tried several of them, including Man1Man oil and they all improved my sensitivity and penile skin health greatly. If you don’t want to spend any money on those special purpose creams, then you can just use extra virgin organic coconut oil or something along that line.

2) Pumping. Believe it or not, pumping can significantly increased penis sensitivity. I think it does this because the blood flow to the penis is massively increased which leads to increased tissue oxygenation and regeneration. When I started pumping in January of this year, I noticed a HUGE increase in penis sensitivity in a few weeks.

I didn’t have any high blood sugar. But yes I’m circumcised. I heard about its negative effects on sensitivity but still, if that caused my problem, many other circumcised men would have a similar problem? Thanks for your suggestions by the way, I’ll try one of those creams and the pump.

A lot of men do have this problem, hence why there is such an abundance of these dick restoration creams available on the market now. Like I said, I had that problem and I’m sure mine was caused by keratin build up over the years due to age, general wear and tear, friction from sex and clothing etcetera. The reason why I know this is because my skin used to be rough and much thicker compared to how it is now, which is smooth and shiny.

It can happen to uncut men as well, but for cut guys like us, the effect is much more severe because our glans is constantly exposed. That said, I was still able to enjoy sex and orgasm, but only after a good while, ie 10-15 minutes. And condoms made it much worse to the point where I could not orgasm at all sometimes unless I was super horny. This is in stark contrast to how sex felt when I was in my 20s, when I could feel every contour and texture in a woman’s pussy and her body heat with tremendous sensitivity.

But now I’m happy to report that my unit’s sensitivity has been more or less completely restored. I can orgasm very quickly now if I want to, and that’s even with condoms. So assuming your problem is similar to how mine was, it can definitely be reversed.

I would advise pump too. Maybe kegels also or hand clamping. Basically any increased blood income (when you have expansion) makes penis much more sensitive. And usually it remains same for some time. Even jelqs can work, it just is much easier with pump.

I am sorry to hear of your challenges and it is something that I experienced a lot of in my early 20’s and from time to time still suffer from such. I do not know all the underlying factors in your case but I have found the following to be of notable assistance in my journey.

1. Pumping ( rather than high pressure I have found using multiple sets at low pressure to be beneficial )
2. Put the porn away
3. Improve health (exercise, diet)
4. Meditation
5. Supplements ( L-glutamine, L-Citrulline, Macca Power)

I have a similar problem. I enjoy intercourse and I ejaculate, but in my entire life the ejaculation hasn’t ever felt like I think it should.

For most men ejaculation and orgasm are one and the same, but they are different things. Sometimes my ejaculation is painful. It’s never given me the pleasure I think it gives most men. I suppose it could be argued my problem is the opposite of yours. I enjoy the intercourse a lot leading up to ejaculation, but the ejaculation doesn’t really give me pleasure. The similarity is that both of us aren’t enjoying the entire sexual activity like we think we should. I’ve wondered for years if I’m unique with my issues. I have suffered from severe depression for many years and I sometimes wonder if it impacts sexual orgasm. I’ve also suffered from prostatitis for many years. I also wonder if my body is doing everything perfectly and my brain is somehow not experiencing the pleasure properly. It has been nearly impossible to find a doctor who has any idea about how to help me. I can honestly say I don’t know if I’ve ever experienced an orgasm. I met a girl once who gave me the most amazing blow job. The pleasure was mind blowing and I didn’t even need to climax to consider it one of the best sexual experiences of my life.

Anyway, you are not alone. I am 44 now and this has been a problem for me my entire life. I am sure a small percentage of men are in the same boat as us with a lack of pleasure in sexual activity being a major concern. I think some men probably don’t experience any sexual pleasure at all and that is really unfortunate. Perhaps we should be grateful we experience some sexual pleasure even if it’s not perfect.