I think I would say I had self esteem problems as a kid. I was shy, red headed, curly haired kid. I remember believing I was not as good as other people, and I really sucked in any kind of social situation.
Something changed in me, and I think a lot of it had to do with weight lifting in high school. It was the first thing I could really do well, better than most other people. As a result, people accepted me, even respected me, which gave me a group of friends. From there, I had a few girls notice me. By the time I was in college, I had been socialized enough to realize that I no longer cared at all what other people thought.
It is quite a blessing to be free of worrying about other people’s scrutiny.
I love myself. I judge my intelligence, my health, my success according to my own standards, not how I compare to other people. People who compare themselves to others usually have low self esteem and need a way to boost their egos. Your self worth has to be defined from within yourself.
I have had a couple of other incidents in my life that have reinforced this attitude in me. I was burned in a fire and had to learn to expose my body and burn scars in the summer in front of others. If you dwell on how people view your scars, you can go mad, but I really go anywhere without ever thinking about it (wearing shorts with scars on my legs.)
The burns happened a few years before my beautiful daughter was born without a hand. I thought I would have to teach her about self esteem but she has taught me more than anyone else ever could. She is a leader in her school, straight A student, sings and performs in plays. Among the other girls in school, she is the leader they follow. When she was born, I worried about her socialization, and thought of the sad times I would have raising her, dealing with her pain from the mean harsh world. To my joy, she is thriving, brilliant, almost too confident of a girl. She is such an inspiration she has been in the newspaper several times and a couple of national publications. How can she have such high self esteem? I don’t know, but what a blessing it is.