Size issues

I have bad body issues. My dick is about 6.30 bpel and I don’t have much fat pad so I’m close to if not 6 nbpel (I can never really tell how to measure nbpel) and I have about 5.80 eg. But every time I do anything with my new girlfriend I just keep thinking that she’s thinking I have a small dick. It’s affecting our sex life. I’ve never approach the whole topic of size with her but she’s told me numerous times that I have a perfect dick. And even swore on her family that she wouldn’t change one thing about it. It’s “perfect” for her but I still can’t shake the fact that I’m not good enough for her. I have a bit of body dysmorphic and it’s all I think about when doing stuff. How do I get over these issues? I just want to let it go but my mind keeps going there.

p.s. I have had erections from time to time that measured more then 6.5 bpel. If I have that potential then how come it only happens every blue moon. Is there anything that would get it there all the time?

5.8” is a great girth. Very nice indeed !! :D

You need to love your self more, really.

I know this sounds clichéd, but think of your life and your body compared to those less fortunate than yourself. Don’t comapre your dick to that of pron stars. Don’t drag your gf into your insecurities. Your length is already at the far end of average or even a bit above average. That means 80-90 % of guys you pass down the street have shorter dicks than you. Your girth is well above average.

Dysmorphia is a label, it may have a reality to it in some cases, but indulgence could make it worse. Know your weak points and don’t put yourself in situations that will send you on the downward spiral. Definitely don’t watch porn.

Your post raises an interesting question though in regards to PE. I have notice that quite a few guys on TP are aiming for 9 inches or more. I love and respect them but I wonder what they are planning to do with the 2 or so extra inches that most girls will not be able to accommodate? I am going to stop PE as soon as there is even the remotest hint that I am bottoming out with the wife. I think we are not far off and I am only at maximum 6 inches BPEL. I like to grind pubic bone to pubic bone and I have no intention of changing wife to accommodate my ever increasing length.

Excellent post, Marky777.

Thecrow19: you have good size. You have above average size. You have never approached the topic of size with your girlfriend, and she has volunteered that you have a perfect dick? Then don’t let your feelings about it screw up your sex life, man!

There’s a good thread here on depression (The Depression Workshop), and one of the things that I learned there was about dealing with those types of messages going through your head. When you get one of those thoughts or doubts, stop it right there and substitute a more positive message. And I mean positive; not "I’m not small"; something like "I have a good sized dick" (or if you’re doing PE, "I have a good sized dick and my efforts are making it larger still"). Someone in the depression thread said something to the effect that "You can’t break a habit, but you can substitute another in its place."

Thoughts will come up on their own, unbidden. It’s up to you to nudge them aside, not let them take root, and substitute a more positive message.

What a man thinks in his heart so is he.

Think something different, pull on your strengths let the weakness takes care of itself. Believe me there will be plenty of assholes in your life to point out your flaws rather they are physical or not. Tell the bozo’s to piss off! Give yourself a love chat now and then. Like every five minutes of the day.

Not surprisingly plenty of guys around these parts have size issues. Plenty of guys around here have OCD, BDD, or other “issues”. You could even make a case that those of us that don't have size issues but end up hanging out here year after year must be the craziest ones. (:

By all means do PE and get a bigger unit because why the hell not? But at the same time do work on your self esteem and self image. If you end up being a fast gainer and suddenly find your self with an 8” penis and still consider it horrifically small take a break from the PE and work on your head a bit more.

You will find that the guys here are very compassionate and nonjudgmental. Lots of guys have found that getting a bigger penis is the least of what Thunder’s does for them.

:moon:

Interesting post Crow. I have the exact same problem.. But way more acute :D , and let me say I think it has crippled my life in more than a few ways. I am 6.5 -7 on a rock hard day by 5.2, and I have the exact same feeling that I have an inadequate dick.. So much so that it actually prevents me from pursuing women to a large degree. The problem is compounded even more because I am told that I am very good looking, pretty bright, and fairly wealthy.. All good things in other departments. For the life of me I cannot figure out how to feel good about myself in a sexual sense so that I might be able to pursue women without these worries. I suspect that the dick is not the real issue at all maybe, and even if I had an 8”er.. Some other prob would still be there. F@$K.. Please.. Anyone out there offer me some helpful advice!! This is KILLING me! The other night I was at a bar flying solo, and a young college babe (intellectual set for sure) came up to me and started making out with me after a nice 10 min conversation (she WAS carniverous, and perhaps a little tipsy). I was shocked, this was no regular night.. And I felt I was somehow reliving some night from 10 years ago. She asked me how old I was and I told her my age 37(which she guessed was 10 years younger).. She told me to guess hers. I guessed 24 and she said 20. At the end of it all she wasn’t the slightest bit phased, she still continued to make out with me.. And couldn’t understand why I wouldn’t take her home (she asked me at the end why I was hitting on HERif I didn’t want to take her home!! LOL). I didn’t because of the above reason plus the fact that I was pretty drunk and worried about obvious performance issues. Before you berate me for not capitalizing.. Please offer some constructive advice help with insanely low sexual esteem.

Peace out, Jamps

I would kill for 5.8…that’s a whole 1.25” more than I am in girth, feel lucky for what ya have, buddy ;)

Hey jumpers!

You know what may help with sexual self esteem is a good ballooning session just to see how big it can actually get.

As far as sex goes no one has mastered true perfection yet. So just try to have fun with it and don’t forget to wear a condom.

Change the way you think. When you where young you’re mother points out the window and says robin. After hearing this many times you think robin every time you see that bird. Now every time you see your dick call it whatever you want and that’s what it will become. I suggest calling it perfect instead of labeling it a size. Try using your search engine for other ways to unleash the power of your mind. Wouldn’t it be great just to be grateful to be alive?

The power of the mind.
Be transformed by the renewing of the mind.

Dude, do a search on penis sizes. You are just over average on length, and far over on girth.

Between the two, chicks prefer girth.

Your perception is probably skewed by porn. Remember the guys are in porn because they have big dicks, and have good control when they cum. They are an extremely small percentage of the population.

I have size issues of my own, even though partners say I’m way fine, and I’m 6.25 BPEL, 4.75 EG. I’m also a therapist, and though I wouldn’t say that this is my department, I would say that what may present itself as “size issues” can be many different things, ranging from stress, to self-esteem, to deeper kinds of sexual ambivalence. When I say deeper, I mean issues from the past, parental issues, etc. (Not kidding!) Sometimes those issues can be helpfully addressed through therapy and sometimes it’s not necessary. I’m NOT recommending therapy, but putting it out there as just one option to address this. Just joining this supportive community here is very powerful in and of itself.

That said, a solution-focused option is to pay attention to the pleasure your penis gives you during any kind of sexual action. Take the focus away from performing and away from having your maximum erection; instead, place it on the sensations you experience through your penis. Find a partner who you can explore this with, or you don’t even have to tell your partner what you’re up to.

The penis is such an unbelievable gift. It’s amazing how good things feel when we focus on feelings instead of expectations.

Duzzit.. Thanks for your input. It’s even more meaningful if you are a bonifide therapist. As for myself, I can say you would be right on the money about dick inferiority complex being related to other issues. In my case I was traumatized as a child by one psychotic, overly critical and extremely dominant mother. To this day, I have never asked a woman for her phone# or instigated any sexual forwardness. I have always been the one who was pursued. The major problem for me now is that I recently came out of a very long devastating relationship (10yr), and at my current age of 37.. The odds of the type of women I find extremely attractive (lets say 22-29) pursuing me are slim to nil (the other night being a rare exception). Not only is the dick perception thing an issue for me, an even bigger prob is my lack of “social, courting and closing” skills. It’s a rather pathetic sit I feel.. I am almost thinking that I should go to prostitutes to try and sort this sh^t out!! Maybe this isn’t such a bad solution? Any advice most appreciated guys.

Cheers, Jampers