What do I do in this situation??

Well I do feel lucky that I dont carry guilt about sex around now!
I guess I never had a reason to.

If I was a flamboyant cheat to my husbands or I went after other womens men. I think I would feel guilty about that. But I decided a long time ago that I woulnt walk on anyone to get where I am going. Not because of their feelings as much as my rotton feelings about myself in going that route.

But i am allowing myself to make that choice. It would be hard if I felt like I was stuck in guilt anyway.

I am sure you have by now tried about everything to get your wife to open up & not have to feel guilty for doing so.

So where does her guilt actually belong? It has to belong to someone else down the line. Especially if you dont represent or encourage her to feel it. I wonder if she knows that its not really hers? But someone has made her feel that it is her burden. Probably way before you ever came along. Its sad that she has to inherit something like that. A tradition that imprisons a part of you when theres no real reason for its existance.

I hope that somehow that will change for you both in the future & you can be open with her without her feeling anything but good about it!!

Thank you for your concern.

As I have mentioned elswhere in these forums, she seems to like sex, gets turned on, and always has at least one orgasm during sex. It seems that it needs to be me that takes the lead most of the time in terms of trying new things, etc. She does initiate a good deal of the time but these are most often non verbal cues that married couples develope over the years. Any time I try to bring up discussion about our sex life in terms of trying to get at what is her level of satisfaction with this or that technique, position or what not, she blushes and gives me a pained/embarrased look and tries to turn the conversation elsewhere if she can. I don’t want to cause her discomfort so unless I feel it is really critical I usually drop it. Since I have enlarged to a leve that is considered at least ample (7 3/8 bpel) she has become more vocal DURING sex. Perhaps when she is at her horniest and really turned on during fore play some time is when I should try getting at what kinds of desires she would like to fulfill.

Summary of USA Conservatism:

Sex bad. Violence good.

These attitudes are slowly dying out, along with the Old Boys’ Network, but the Old Boys aren’t out of it yet.

You are a fortunate exception, DW, and the world would be a better place if more people were as open-minded and forthcoming as you are! :D

Hey I think your right when your in the act is the best time for talking about stuff!

Jabari Thanks! That was a nice thing to say

You know what, sometimes I wonder if someone is playing a big joke on me. So I bring up this discussion here, and ask everyone’s advice. My g/f goes off to a religious camp, while I’m getting advice from everyone here. She comes back and has decided to re-affirm her faith, which includes cutting me off until marriage.

So while I appreciate everyone’s input on what I should do, it doesn’t look like it matters for quite awhile now. However, rather than suddenly surprise her with something an inch longer (hopeful) I did broach the subject much in a manner recommended to me in an eariler post. I used the whole “yes, I’m perfect now, but wouldn’t I be a little more perfect” approach.

DW and Luvdadas, I understand your points about little white lies and not wanting to hurt my feelings and all. But all I can say is that when I brought it up, she was vehemently against the idea. I felt it best at that point not to tell her I’d gained an 1/8 th of an inch already.

So maybe she was telling the truth, I don’t know. But it looks like it doesn’t matter anyway, not for a couple of years.

My hands have just become my new best friends in more ways than PE’ing.

DOH

Sorry Boss! Just keep on working on it! You NEVER know how hard that next inch, half inch, quarter inch will be to chase! So, just quietly wait at your exercise program and who knows? Maybe you’ll find a new girl or maybe this one will straighten out for you. Best of Luck! TT

Well I’m sure she is against you getting bigger or anything that you might be doing penis wise if she is cutting you off untill marriage.

I would do what I wanted then & not worry about if she will like it or not. Heck in 2 years she wont remember too much about your penis anyway. Unless she has a photographic memory.

I would go for it. A lot can happen in 2 years.

You’re quite welcome. And you don’t have to thank me: I speak only truth :)

>>So where does her guilt actually belong? It has to belong to someone else down the line. Especially if you dont represent or encourage her to feel it. I wonder if she knows that its not really hers? But someone has made her feel that it is her burden. Probably way before you ever came along. Its sad that she has to inherit something like that. <<

I believe that at some point, as adults, we turn inheritance into ownership. Being in the South but having been raised in the North, I see the attitudes that Luvdadus is talking about. It’s not pretty. But in reality the people here *choose* to hold onto their precious viewpoints and so forth, and that definitely includes sex. At the age of 36 I am now working strongly to jettison ridiculous traits that I learned from negative examples in my earlier life. I choose to do that. Luvdadus’ wife has to choose to come to grips with that stuff, or not. But no one is forcing her to take that viewpoint now. Even in the Deep South, people have to strive at times to hang on to ridiculous negative traditions. And what I’ve learned is this: it is easier (ie., less work) to just ‘accept’ yourself for all your negative traits and expect everyone else around you to do that same (that includes family), than to actually do the hard work of confronting and changing these things.

[Soapbox OFF]

Hey I fully understand what your saying. I think there is a lot of truth in your words.

Actually if you go before all man & ask if his happiness is here. You will find that it is not. Because it seems man would rather be unhappy than happy.

Its a very curious thing about mans unhappiness. We have all the tools for happiness. Every reason & every thing we want to be happy. But were not.

Actually when you get right down to it theres no reason for man to be unhappy, except by choice. We choose to be unhappy.

I think like you said its easier to just accept neggative. Blame someone else for why we are not happy. Taking responsibility for for our selves is just not as easy as changing the deeprooted negative convictions of others inherited & handed down opinions.

But history cares for nothing but repeating itsself. The only way to change history is to change the future.

Assuming your girlfriend is in love with you, I believe this is the reason she is telling you that you are the perfect size. Wouldn’t it absolutely suck if the two of you split up and you hear in the rumor mill that she’s been going around telling people how small you are. Keep pe-ing because for the reason you came to this site in the first place is the same reason you should continue pe-ing… because you want a bigger penis! You never know what curveball life will throw you but in the end you need to be content with yourself.

I haven’t checked this post in quite awhile. This girlfriend and I actually broke up a little while ago, due to religious differences. Isn’t that ironic, considering how this thread led to that discussion between Luvdadas and Diamondwinds.

No matter, when we broke up, she made a specific point of telling me my size was fine yet again. Which I guess is complimentary since I broke up with her. Anyway, I’m not with her anymore, and the pe’ing hasn’t stopped. I’m on my way to 7, currently at 6-1/2.

A little off subject, but had any girth gains?

By the way I have been in a similar situation as you. I have had an on again, off again gf for three years. We have always been very open sexually. (She even got a threesome together for me)We started dating senior year of high school, and we broke up for college and always end up together when we see each other. This last summer we were in the same town. Now we will be apart for about two years and the thought of someone else fucking her better than me makes me sick. (She has only fucked one other person in college and she convinced me well enough that he wasnt good.) It is really weird, It took me a long time but now I think I am in love with her.
The thing is, her pussy is very big. Under normal circumstances I would much perfer a smaller vagina b/c it feels better for me, but in her case because I love her, sex with her is always the best. If I knew that she viewed this the same way I do, I wouldnt give a damn how many big dick frat boys she fucked. The thing is, I have yet to meet a girl who really feels that sex is always best with someone you love. I am not inexperienced and recently lived with four very sexually open girls. (Obviously I dont listen to anything my girl says, as I know she would never knowingly hurt me.)

I guess this is something that I just have to deal with and decide whether or not I want to be with her (or any other girl for that matter) longterm knowing that she could have had better sex with other people. I used to believe that if two people were really “in love,” that even though there would be hard times, the good times would always be best with that person, sexually and otherwise. I no longer really feel that this is possible, at least for people that dont have huge dicks. Its very depressing.

Anyways, I apologize for my rant. I am very prideful and would never share this sort of shit with anyone I actually know, so I said it here.

late

- bogava

It isn’t as bad as what you say man. I’ve been in love a couple of times, and I have felt, and been a part of, things where being in love does make whatever you’re doing the best with who you’re with.

I’m by no means huge. I started out at 5.75 by 5.25, and have increased to 6.5 by 5.5, so yes, in answer to your question, I have had minimal girth gains. I’m proud of how I am now, and I do this mainly for long term fulfillment, not out of any need or pressing anxiety.

You can ask Diamond, or one of the other women on here, but I’ve always been of the mind that if you know your way around foreplay, and truly care about the person, your package will take care of itself, regardless of size. You just have to find the right one.