Wife Advice

Hello Everyone -

First, great forum. Kudos to Thunder. May be donating soon if I can figure this problem out. Any help would be much appreciated.

I’ve been married for 17 years. Marriage started out very shaky. The first two or three years of our marriage, I put her through total hell. We got married very early in life (unexpected pregnancy); I was only 18 years old and a complete bastard womanizer. I was very good looking at the time, and had no trouble getting one night stands, two girls at the same time, and so on. I could tell you guys stories that would make the Penthouse Forum editor blush. I have no idea why I am not dead from any number of sexually transmitted diseases. Frankly I should have them all.

My wife, bless her, stuck with me through it all - the women calling late at night, the panties under the bed that weren’t hers, wrong color hair on the bathroom floor, cigarettes on the lawn with strange lipstick on it, etc. But I got my head on straight, realized I loved her, realized what a total shit I was, and for about the last 15 years I’ve managed to be true to her. Happily.

Despite this, I have no doubt that she has been psychologically damaged by my idiocy. She is still very insecure; always worried about me. Not jealous or anything like that, but always, always worried. I work on assuring her and making her feel better about herself as best as I can. Love her very much and would never knowingly hurt her again. Tremendous guilt, still, for knowing what I did to her.

So, here’s the problem.

‘Round 10 years ago I did some theorizing on the whole PE thing and experimented on my own. Made a homemade ‘pump; came up with some exercises. Gained about 1/2 inch length and girth. The base gained about 2”. Our sex life was really something and it was awesome to use the extra gains in bed. She did and said all the right things - “filling me up!” “So big!” and so on. But outside of the bedroom, very very insecure about why I was doing it, and was worried that I was slipping back into my old womanizing habits. She was also worried about our kid finding the equipment, and felt it was all a bit “trashy.” Despite the fireworks. She also claimed that I was too big and that it hurt if I pushed in too far. So with a powerful sigh, after a few months I let go of my aspirations..

Now we’re both older; sex isn’t what it used to be. Mainly because, well, it’s become routine. We go without for a few weeks, sometimes months. When we do it’s loving and she always orgasms seven or eight times, but it’s not exactly inspiring, and it’s mostly my fault. Also, I’ve noticed my past gains have slipped a bit over the years and her claims of my being too big have subsided. Thought maybe I’d pick up PE again to add some spark, found Thunder’s place and read several inspiring stories. Some of the regulars here seem to have good hearts, so I thought I’d ask..

Given our past history, should I discuss it with her first? Not do anything at all? Or surprise her with the results of a few months of PE? Her birthday’s coming up in April; I could avoid sex until then, and most likely keep my efforts secret without much difficulty (preventing me from donating right away, as she handles all finances with an eagle eye). Ordinarily I never keep anything from her, but I must confess that the fantasy of her reaction in bed to a new “me” is a powerful siren call.

If anyone manage to read through this whole horribly long post of mine, can you give me your stories re: wife? Done in secret? Done with full knowledge? Bad reactions? Good? Any wives out there that were surprised one night by their husband? What was your reaction?

Thanks so much in advance.

I would inform her, but couch it from more of a fitness standpoint (i.e. warding off ED, flagging erections, etc.) rather than as a means for size enlargement.

Four months without sex? You’re a bigger man than me already. What ever you do don’t hug Anna;)
Strange Reactions

Surprising the wifey with a nice plump pump is nice, but there are also a lot to be said for PE savoy wives who get involved. Incorporate the routines into your sex. Have fun with it.

Also Welcome aboard.

Ha! I wish we could say that in the physical sense..

Abstaining that long isn’t exactly hard for me. Sex is great, mind you, but I’m also a workaholic and have a lot of projects going on right now. Plus we have a teenager in the house now so she’s up all night - not much privacy for the parents to be screaming and moaning and carrying on (it would be so embarrassing - for the kid I mean). Also, I guess I had so much sex when I was younger that it’s not always the first thing on my mind. Like drinking. I grew up in New Orleans so by the time I was 14 I’d become a regular at several bars and several girl’s beds. Now I almost never drink.. And sex in all it forms with so many different people isn’t the “undiscovered country” that it used to be.

Thanks for the advice.. I’ve read your posts with much interest in the main members area, you write well.

Given her uncertainty and the reasons for it - and how she reacted during your last bout of PE - I think I’d tell her I was doing these anti ED exercises. If she keeps asking, tell her it’s the flip side of the coin for getting bigger, same exercise dual results.

I vasilate on this both ways on the one hand;

I agree with mgus. I would tell her that you are doing the exercises for ED prevention to make sure your sex life is alive and fresh.

On the other hand, I think its okay for men to do stuff for ourselves without consulting our wives everytime we need to wipe our asses.

I told my wife after I had some gains and she liked the gains, but kept digging at me how weird it was to have PE stuff hidden in our closet and how my dick was discolored, blah blah blah. So I stopped telling her and did my PE either at work or when I had privacy at home.

Good luck.

789

789, mgus, DEP -

Thanks much for replying. I hadn’t thought of passing it off as anti-ED.. Interesting idea! I’d have to build up to that somehow. Have a pretend evening of ED? Because I don’t know if she’d buy it, in all my years I’ve never had a single bout of ED.. She’d see through it instantly without an example ahead of time. I wonder, does saltpeter work?

Interesting about the “weird” comment. One of the things she complained about to me, too, along with it being “trashy.”

I don’t ordinarily go to her for permission on everything under the sun.. It’s primarily an issue of not hurting her feelings, you see, given the past history.

789, do you think she suspects that you continue in your endeavors? How do you think she’d react if she caught you still doing it?

zippy, I would be completely honest with her about PE. Tell her why you’re doing it, explain the benefits of it to her. This is not something I would keep from her given the past history that you two have. If she knows about it from the start, she is liable to be more understanding and less insecure about it. There is nothing weird about PE at all. Men do it for many reasons and women are here on this site for many reasons. If she has questions from a stand point that you can’t answer, this is a great place to get them for her.

flower

Thanks for the post, Flower.. It’s good to get a feminine point of view. My first instinct is the same as yours. Hm-mm. How to bring the subject into conversation?

Scene: morning breakfast. Eating toast and bacon. “Darling, we need to fix the kitchen faucet,” she says. “Certainly, Honey. By the way,” you say mid-bacon, “I thought I’d pick up on PE again while I’m at it.”

Note, however, that I myself do not think PE is weird. But the wife, coming from a conservative and religious upbringing, found it (several years ago) bizarre beyond belief. Being formerly one of God’s frozen people myself (old-school protestant), I suppose I understand the notion.

I’ve been completely honest with my girlfriend about PE (although I’ve been a member here for about 4-5 days, I’ve been PE-ing for some time now), and she’s been completely great about it, we even have a weekly lenght and girth check-up, and although we have regular sex, the weekly check-up is a freak fest simply because I PE more for her than for myself, and she know’s it.

She may, but I really don’t care anymore what she thinks about my PE endeavors. And if she caught me I would tell he what I have told her in the past. “I expect you to support me for the insecurity that I have just like I did/do for you when you wanted a nose job or are wanting a boob lift.” I don’t flaunt my activities so I dont suspect she’ll find out I am PEing at my office. I get more than a little pissed when I think about the fact how supportive I have been with her and the nose job and the boob job. She once said to me “why do you want a bigger dick, I’m the only one who sees it” and I said “why do you want a boob lift, everyone in the world will see them not just me”.

Now, in woman logic that just doesnt fly. As women ALWAYS make all discussions or disagreements somehow about them. So she’ll think I am wanting a bigger dick so I can screw around or some shit like that. The reason I want a bigger dick has NOTHING to do with her, in this case it’s all about me.

789

Ha! That is the thing, you aren’t really “passing it off as anti-ED”, because it really is an ED preventative! This is not a sales pitch, it is the truth.

I have said many times, even if I got zero size gains, the overall health benefits to my wang were more than worth the effort!

I like your reasoning here! (Good argument — you thinking about becoming a lawyer?)

Good one!

Perfectly put! While Mrs zippy has not had nose or boob construction, she does work out two hours a day, wears makeup, and dons the occasional padded bras. She’s a stay-at-home and her social life consists of going to church and women’s church study groups. Otherwise she’s fairly cloistered (as am I). 99.9% of the folks she associates with would not be appreciative of any sexually alluring attributes she may sport outside the house, and she knows I’m not very particular and find her attractive in old sweats first thing in the morning. So who or what is all the work and accoutrements for?

Quite obviously, for herself.!

I think this is the way I’m going to bring it up to her. I’m going to blend flower’s input (being upfront) with 789’s sharp legal wit. Will let you guys know how it goes. Thanks so much!

She often says the same thing to me. I think you should be able to apply logic to most situations, even those involving females, lol.