Esquire (USA edition) 2004 page 84
What is “jelqing” (by Stacey Grenrock Woods)
Jelqing refers to a penis-enlarging technique that any guy with a passing familiarity with masturbation can perform. Proponents claim that placing the thumb and forefinger around the base of the penis and pulling upward every day for about thirty minutes will cause the penis’s spongy tissue to fill with blood and expand permanently.
According to some sources, jelqing originated in the MIddle East by fathers “preparing their sons for marriage”, which is one way of putting it. First is a “warm-up”, in which a warm bath or hot towel is used to increase blood flow to the penis.
Then comes the “workout” (or “jelqout”, if you’d rather), followed by the customary shame, loneliness, and promises made to oneself, ultimately broken, But if you’re hoping for permanent enlargement, I’m afraid the jelq’s on you.
Enter urologist Stanley J. Swierzewski III to spoil everyone’s fun: “First, some basic anatomy: The penis is not a muscle that you can make bigger with exercise”. Erection size, he says, is predetermined by two tubes within the penis called corpora, which are not stretchable, If they were, you would never achieve a firm erection. Your penis would be, as the doctor puts it, “a soft balloon filled with blood” (which, coincidentally, is the title of my childhood memoir, due out later this month).
All in all, if it walks like a duck and it quacks like a duck, it’s probably a masturbating duck. Anyone who tells you differently is just ‘fulqing’ with you.
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