Originally Posted by Zman2700
she is obsesive cmopulsive and has anxiety disorter, which makes her worry about everything.
((I seem to have written quite a lot here— there’s no need to respond— it’s just good to be able to get this off of my chest))
Zman2700— I met someone like that— different problems but lots of them. After the first few times we spoke she wouldn’t come near me. It was difficult— the rejection was surprisingly painful and made me feel really helpless.
She spoke to me again about four or five months after I first started approaching her and she said she’d see me again the next week but I changed my schedule and haven’t seen her since. Every time I’ve made even the most casual of arrangements to see her it’s played on her mind so much that she hasn’t even been able to look at me— she just stares at the floor looking terribly terribly distressed. The last time we spoke I explained that I didn’t want to make a fixed arrangement to meet with her because it’d caused her so much anxiety those times before. I just said “I’ll see you when I see you” and I haven’t been back.
The rejections are painful— she seems to talk to everybody else in the gym but me (all of the girls)
Even when I assured her that all I really want from her is her friendship and tried to let her know that she’s in control of the relationship she still has difficulty even talking to me. I’m not sure if it’s just me she’s afraid of or my sex/gender or if it’s the emotions that my sex/gender invoke in her that scare her (maybe all of those things). I think she might be more afraid of what she wants to do with me than she is of me.
She seems to have issues with intimacy and I wanted to tell her that I’m not going to try and have sex with her (pregnancy would be so catastrophic for this girl that even if she consented in the heat of the moment I could still be convicted for rape given that I know what I know from spending time with her), but it’s just not really appropriate for me to talk about those things with her in the context in which her and I speak.
When I first approached her it was with the intention of trying to form a close relationship, but she let me know in no uncertain terms that she absolutely wasn’t interested in an intimate relationship— she seemed really confident and together on that first day, but then she just slipped further and further away from me.
If I’d known I’d have so little time with her I’d have listened to her a lot more— we sat in a park and talked and I genuinely thought we’d be doing that two or three times a week, so I thought I’d try and make her feel less pressured by just talking all the time about stupid things so that she could get used to being around me and feel less ‘on the spot’ :rolleyes:
She went through a bad-patch recently and has just got herself back on her feet again, but a part of me feels responsible for the down-turn in her emotional state. I’m sure it was my fault and although I’d like to see her again I’m worried about where it might lead and the emotional toll it may take on me also.
I don’t want to diminish her problems, but I’m not sure that I'm emotionally strong enough to cope with such a potentially turbulent relationship.