My On-going Motivation - What's Yours (long story)

Hi All,

I’ve been at this PE thing for a few years now and motivation levels can vary immensely. Well I have a story that has got me back on track and also showed me how inadequate I feel and how much I am affected by this thing called a penis.

It goes back a fair way but my wife and I have some very close friends, a married couple who we have gone camping with, had many dinners, lots of drinks and plenty of good times over the last few years. There has always been something simmering between the four of us which has come out on a few occasions but nothing serious.

The characters:

A = Me aged 36, married my teenage sweetheart never been with another woman
K = My wife, aged 35, of 10 years who also had never been with another man

M = Burly male friend aged 34 - Cross between Crocodile Dundee & Steve Urwin.
V = His attractive wife who is a few years younger than the rest of us at 28.

V has always talked about M’s dick and said that from day one, it was the biggest amongst the many partners she has had. She talks about how it just fits in here mouth and stuff like that. M says it’s a “myth” and that he always felt insecure in the showers after footy as it suffers from the “mushroom factor” and didn’t hang at all.

K has always been happy with my size and suggests that it’s long and has never complained and we have a reasonable hit rate in terms of her orgasm from penetration only. However, she has no benchmark on which to measure and was blissfully unaware of what else might be out there.

A couple of years ago, at the campfire one evening, we all got fairly drunk and the topic headed it’s usual direction to sex and all related topics including dicks. The girls curiosity was such that they wanted to see the “myth” and compare it to a longer unit.

The result was a huge dose of stage fright on my behalf as I have always been fairly self conscious and had never been in the spotlight like this. M on the other had rose to the occasion and popped out a girthy dick with a large head and about 80% hard. It’s not long, probably 5” but it would be 6” around with a large head and quite impressive against my 20% flaccid which would have been 4-5” long and 4.5” around with a small head.

Regardless, M has stuck by his “myth” and, based on what I had seen, I have disagreed saying that girls love wide and thick.T hinner and longer may hang better in the shower but he had the volume advantage. So over the last few years I have been pumping, jelqing and stretching to try and improve things down there so that my next stage event might go a little better.

K knows I PE and has enjoyed the results and has encourage me to keep doing my “exercises” if it makes me happy. There is no doubt, on paper, that when “on song” my package is fine and I have moved from around 7x5 bpel to 7.5x5.25 bpel (hard gainer here). And when I’m alone with K it’s all strong and good but as soon as M & V are around, I’m a goner and it’s frustrating.

So on to my latest story and the reason for the title of this post.

M&V were coming to dinner, all kids were with baby sitters, the night was ours. Everyone dressed well and I was cooking up a feast with plenty to drink and nice music as well. The night went so fast, we ate, drank and got merry with the conversation moving to what games we could play. The usual stuff was bypassed and we made up our own game using just a dice.

Round 1 - dice roll

1 = player tells fantasy
2 = player ask any other player fantasy
3 = player dare partner
4 = player truth partner
5 = player dare any other
6 = player truth any other

It was during these rounds that dares of kissing of opposite partners was suggested and complied with, nothing serious just a quick kiss.

We soon bored of this…

Round 2 - dice roll

1 = player kiss opposite partner
2 = player grab crouch of opposite partner
3 = play kiss same gender - girls said that if we want them to kiss we have to as well!!!!!
4 = male player grab breast of opposite girl, if girl rolls miss a turn
5 = girl player grab crouch of apposite male, if male rolls miss a turn
6 = player kiss and grab breast/crouch of opposite player

Well this heightened the mood and got us all fired up. I was travelling well and was generating a reasonable package in the crouch region for V to grab. V tells me to kiss more softly!! K likes it when I kiss firmly so already these girls like it different ways. Boys end up saying no-way when either rolls a 3 but girls happy to oblige, wow!

We enjoyed this for a time but were ready to take the next step…

Round 3 - dice roll

1/2/3 = girl player get tits out - boys miss a turn
4/5/6 = lads get dick out - girls miss a turn

Well, my stage fright returned big style. M was revealing a hard as rock, thick large headed package and I was reluctantly revealing my 5x4.5 full flaccid…ahhhhh! K pipes up and says where is that big, long and hard dick that you have for me and I just own up to stage fright when confronted with the “myth” to try an lighted things. Both V&K (the girls) the offer to do what ever it takes to get my package going as K again back me up and offers encouragement that it’s a good package suffering stage fright.

Well I don’t know where I plucked the courage, I was desperate I guess, but I offered the following scenario:

Lets move to the 3 seater couch, K sitting in between M & Me with V straddling K. K & V to the kiss while each has a hand on M’s & My dick which are unzipped, so flesh on flesh. I said that surely this would have to get my loins responding.

To our utter amazement, the girls were happy to do this. So there we were, the girls kissing while holding the lads dicks, so each lad had a hand from K & V gently stroking while they kissed each other!!! M was now busting and my plan had back fired as I was still struggling. V moved from K and straddled me during this heated moment and M moved on top on K all the while the girl kept opposite partner dicks in hand. The next little while we were one on one with opposite partners and enjoying a very rare moment. That said I was still flaccid….I can’t believe what I’m writing, because right now I’m hard telling the story but when knowing M was there, hard and impressive I struggled.

Things settled down and reality caught up with us, it was time to go home.

K & I talked plenty about what happened and after a long time just skirting around the real issues, we both agreed that we found the encounter invigorating and exciting. K asked why I would not put on the impressive showing for V that she knew I was capable and V was nice looking with a great body, but I was not sure and put it down to being massively self conscious of my dick.

I finally get to my point….

M may not have the length but sure has an impressive package, even at a dinner this week I was amazed to hear my wife say to V that she appreciates how hard it must be to oral M due to his width!!! I quote ” I have held that thing….” Well that’s it, I’ve been pumping using my bigger cylinder and doing a massive work out each night to try and break the same/same PE that I have done day in and day out for several years. I told my wife that I’m trying to break routine and she understands and again is supportive of what I want to do.

Now some disclaimers/findings:

-I love my wife and I have a good sized dick.
-She loves me and we have no intentions of leaving each other
-We loved the ability to bring other sexual encounters into our relationship without cheating.
-When I’m with my wife it fires up to it’s best proportions
-I actually found it a turn on to see my wife enjoy another
-We have never swapped or engage in swinging but can no see some appeal
-My wife wants me to put up a proud showing, somethings she knows I am capable of.

Well there you have it, I’m in the midst of a PE frenzy, within reason, and am totally motivated to work harder towards the next event.

Later
A

PS: 16th Dec the girls are arranging a spa party!!!! OMG, I’ve only got 2 weeks to prepare. We arranged this at the same dinner when K commented about the oral thing and I openly said that I will be ordering VIAGRA!!! I don’t want to take any chances and they all laughed….they think I was joking, I’m going to investigate this option as I’m not going to flaccid up three times in a row.

PPS: Sorry for the long story, I have a feeling that I’m doing more dumping of stuff that’s on my mind that providing PE related motivation or contributions that might help others.

Great story. Excellent motivation.

Cialis may be a better choice than Viagra for your application, as Cialis has a longer active time.
Here are some threads:
Liquid cialis
Kitnsmore 50ml Liquid C = How many Pills?
Closing down all the generic drug web sites/and finding open sites for generic drugs

There are many more threads about the various options you have for chemical assistance.

makyen

Remember to drink a lot of water, Or else you might get a bad head ache from the Viagra/Cialis.

Good story, I think your situation would be motivation for alot of guys. My motivation is my self-esteem,and to make the woman in my life happy, and just to be able to say “yeah, I gotta big dick!”. Silly , maybe,but to each is they own.

Do jelqs, they elp with erections.

The drinking definitely affects things, especially when you get paranoid about not getting it up.

Viagra lasts 24 hours for me, even though they claim 4-6, but I’ve never tried Cialis. Jelqs also are great for flaccid hang and erection strength. Kegels help erection strength and ejaculation.. If it gets to that point. I liked the story, sounds fun!

Great story. Keep us posted.

BTW, do you think your relationship with this couple is going to eventually progress to actual intercourse/oral? Like have you and your wife discussed it as a possibility? If so, do you guys plan on doing it in the company of each other (same room), or steering off into different rooms?

Great story (I have just joined site and will post an intro later). As you don’t actually have erectile dysfunction, a good 25 or 50mg dose of Viagra should see you with a hard on, the likes of which you’ve not seen since high school. Do it I say - your confidence will rebound. I was in a similar situation but was unsure of the guys size but the partner reckoned he was a good size (she had had sex with the guy 5 years before). Previously I had a (failed) threesome with a good friend and his partner (who was very very hot) but I went soft from stage fright.

The Viagra was awesome this time around. After the session, my partner told me she couldn’t believe the size difference between me and this other guy (I am 8 * 6 NBP when fully hard, he was out of shape and struggling I think). I have to say that felt great to hear her say that.

Glad you liked the story, there are several other chapters but you have read the most interesting bits.

Thanks for the advice on Cialis & Viagra, it’s a shame I have to get a doctors note to get this stuff unless anyone has other ideas for and Aussie based option. That said, I’m ready to make an appointment, just not my usual GP 8-)

As for the jelq comments, I have been doing this stuff since 2002 and would love to have a $1 for every jelq I have done. My comments above about breaking the routine up with a more intensive work-out was motivated by the fact that I don’t get the same flaccid, heavy & veiny hang that I used to get from pump & jelq. That said, I am bigger flaccid now than I was in 2002 so I’m working on theory that my body has conditioned itself to the current levels of PE.

As for what might happen in the future, I’m not sure. We all talked the next day and it was uncomfortable but there seemed to be a mutual acceptance that we were all ok with no ill feelings. M was a bit worried that he had gone to far with K but I told him it was kinda cool and weird as it might seem it was the similar feeling I get when I encourage friends to have a drive of my car. I get a buzz out of seeing them enjoy the performance and the compliments about how nice it is to drive. With the greatest respect to my wife, who is an attractive lady with a personality larger than life, I have a similar feelings about letting someone else (who I trust and respect) enjoy her company. Maybe I’m showing off what nice things I have, letting someone drive my car or be in an intimate moment with my wife.

One more weird thing, I got a real buzz out of giving my wife a chance to do and experience something she not done before. It’s an interesting gift but we have a very mature relationship and I don’t think it would work without that strong foundation.

24 asked if it did go any further if I’d go to another room. I don’t think so, part of the thrill for me is watching her enjoy herself and I don’t think it would be the same if she went elsewhere.

Maximus, you too have suffered stage fright, it’s bloody frustrating and you probably re-live the moment as I have and wonder about what could have been with that hot friend.

I will keep you posted, but don’t hold your breath, as cold feet may set in and we will have to wait for the next impromptu encounter.

Cheers
A

Ok, skeptdick, I have read similar sentiments from other “open minded” husbands. Personally, just the thought of my wife actually WANTING to have sex with another man makes me sick to my stomach. I know that you are not alone, but I am sure I am not alone either.

Have you given any thought to how this might change your relationship (mature or not) after a spouse swap?
WHAT IF:
1) K admits she really enjoyed the sex with M, maybe more than any other encounter she has ever had with you. (Girls dig the Girth, man!)
2) V does not seem as impressed as you would like after sampling your package in the sack. Your wife made that girth comment… see #1.
3) M can last for hours and shows a real fondness for pounding YOUR wife in a way that you can hear from the driveway.
4) K asks if it is ok, to do it again with M, perhaps on a regular basis.
5) V becomes jealous of something that is exchanged between her and M.

I hope you do not think I am judging you. I am definately NOT thinking that way! I am a little concerned (for your young son) that perhaps you have already gone too far. A good portion the swinging I have read about ends up badly. Typically, one spouse cheats eventually.

The spa part is a SURE sex setup, man. You probably already know that. In my opinion, this is dangerous territory (not that you asked).

Best Wishes! Good luck with the PE.

Goonbaby, I’m cool with you pointing out the other side of the story. I have thought a lot about the points you raise over the last few years and I do understand, all too well, that people think differently to me on many things.

All your points are valid and I’ll comment on each:

1. I would expect her to enjoy the encounter but maybe not the physical aspect as much as the mental one. I have a theory I call the forbidden fruit syndrome…. it’s no great secret that human being want and desire things they can’t have and I guess it’s strength of will and some would say our character that dictates how good a person we are..yes, maybe no?

On the girth side, once again I have read many things here at Thunders that point to girls loving girth but I can give you an interesting fact about M & V that might throw a spanner in the works. V has never experience orgasm through penetration/sex even with M’s girth. I have witnessed him in action during a camping trip and he does love pounding, I nick named him RPM after that…it’s another story maybe.

K on the other had does reach through penetration and I think this just heightens V’s imagination and adds to the mystery, I guess. I know we are all different and K might be one of those girls who would orgasm through penetration with any partner, I’m not proclaiming to be something other than normal in sexual skill sets. That said, she would need to be comfortable and fully immersed in the moment for this to happen based on my 20 years of experience with her. Hell you have to be pretty committed to improving/changing your game plan to keep a woman orgasmic after 20 years with the same bloke! There is no doubt that PE has been a big help in this area.

2. I think I may have covered that in point 1, but agree that my physical size may not fill her but I would touch places deeper and I do operate at a much slower RPS than M 8-)

3. We have talked and laughed on this subject as a group, yes there are times when we boys are unstoppable and others when we don’t last long enough so I guess we both have the potential to create this scenario.

4. Hmmm…an interesting one, not sure what to say about that. There is one thing that comes to mind though. I am a sale executive in a tough market full of worthy competitors. When I have a sole contract with a client I work hard and do a good job for them but my creative juices and levels of service and commitment rise sharply when I am defending a good client from the competition. The moral and my point, a bit of competition sharpens us and makes us take things to the next level, on the other hand, sole supplier = complacency in most cases. I only came up with that theory while writing this reply but I guess it could have a part to play.

5. yes a bit chance of that happening in the friendship all round. No doubt there would be a price to pay at some stage, just a matter of trying to weigh it up.

There has been one weird and amazing side affect for my wife. Her self confidence levels grew in a big way after the encounter discussed. We talked about why and the answer was as interesting as it was simple. I often praise her, not as much as I should, and I get very pissed at her when she puts herself down and says she is not attractive to other men. K carries some weight, she be a size 14 a few months ago. I answer that with “so how am I supposed to perceive you” she says it’s about love and all that stuff. I’ll give you an example, we have another male friend who I have always though has a soft spot for K, I have said it with a grin as have M & V as they know him too. She says no way, he’s younger, tall and good looking and would be after something much different. We as it turns out, at his encasement party he had a bit too much to drink and told K that he found her attractive and easy to talk too given different circumstances….She like most people become used to their hubby saying that look nice but it does not have the same confidence boost that another man saying it.

I drifted again, so back to the amazing side affect from the encounter with M. K is going to the gym, felt better about herself and is working on her weight. She has been reminded that she is an attractive lady and if she were to lose some pounds she would move to an even higher level and that I can enjoy the rewards as well. There is no doubt our sex lives are great when she feels good about herself, and confident that I find her attractive as well.

Now after all that, yes it’s dangerous and the four of us are taking a gamble should we go to the next level. I guess time will tell. As I said earlier, the spa may not happen and we’ll go another 6 months or longer before we play dice again.

One last comment:

I believe that monogamy is a very difficult thing to maintain and that deep down inside the human being there is a desire to be with many partners. I love my discover channel and have watched some amazing documentaries on this topic and how different cultures and even primates deal with this issue. I won’t go into it too much but the female chimpanzee’s process of partner selection is amazing, when she is ovulating, it’s the alpha male and then she mates with others after so that none of them know who the child belongs too (males are rough and can kill babies when they know they didn’t mate with the mother). I know it’s not humans but the story was amazing all the same. There was a human college study as well with interesting results too, I did not know that we are attracted to the smell of another person and even if they are attractive if the smell they give off does not fit, then it’s no go. I’m not talking bad breath of band odour, more our normal scent.

Once again I apologise for the lengthy replies, I am now feeling like I am lying on a couch having to explain myself to some physiologist, I guess that’s the appeal of this place, sharing deep set/felt ideas and opinions in a constructive and non judgmental environment. (mostly)

Later
A

Great story. Very real. Gotta’ love the human condition unfurled. Annonimity and free expression strike via the media of the internet once again!

Salutations.

Regarding the dick that comes up soft. Shit man, I’ve had shit like that happen before. When one of the best looking chicks I’ve ever been with whispered into my ear that she wanted to “suck my dick” until I, “came in her mouth”, my dick acted like somebody kicked it in the balls and fell right over. Shit is inexplicable. Happens.

She tried to suck me off for about a whole week running- same result. Then, one night, she ceded the poonanie (thinking that I wouldn’t be able to get it up?) and I tore into her cunt like a visigoth, rendering her a trembling mass of feminine gooseflesh.

Go figure.

Here’s the thing, you haven’t really gotten it on with a lot of women and therefore naturally expect your dick to act like you “think it should” given a particularly appealing erotic encounter. However, that dick has a mind of it’s own. Let it be. Let it have that mind of it’s own. My experience is that sooner or later your natural rod will come up like a rock- unless of course you overthink yourself into a cul de sac (not the one you’d like to be in mind you!) of self deprecating and competitive thoughts.

as far as the points which goonbaby brings up- well, they’re certainly worth considering. However, humanity is pretty fractured when it comes to sexuality. The only point of unity seems to be that most of us like it. Sexuality, for me, exists outside the limits of whatever “possession” I may claim on another human. It is part of the game I play- a fun game, a game I don’t really get “hurt” in that often (if ever). Good sex and bad sex both bring something to me and I learn from both scenarios and everything in between. Relationships come and then they go. Some of them keep on going. It’s a dance. A part of me but not me. If my lover were fucked by a friend of mine, someone who I really trusted and respected, then who am I to expect that she shouldn’t enjoy it more? Logically, why *wouldn’t she*? Isn’t that the whole point behind calling a nice new piece of ass *strange*? i.e. I’m going to go out and see if I can score some *strange* tonight….

I guess what I’m trying to say is that so long as you are careful, cautious, learning, and forever willing to accept unseen consequences, what’s the point behind allowing *anything* to give you the feeling like you’ve been “punched in the stomach”? I, for one, refuse to acknowledge this type of power over me and my own peace. Could PE really be the final step away from whatever jealousy, insecurity, and psychological fear which may have plagued us in the past? It’s certainly a step in the right direction.

And what if your wife actually turns out to be a size queen and has ear splitting, neighborhood arousing, nether wall bashing orgasms with your buddy? Well, rather than getting your insides all up in a knot with fear, why not just let all that go and smile at the fact of her pleasure. Also know that YOU were a central component to her achieving that pleasure. I could go on and on. If you love someone and they love you too and that love is real, developed, and mature then the sky is literally NOT a limit on what is possible in the realm of these human lives.

Handle with care. Enjoy with gusto. Refuse to “lose”.

Peace man and good luck with your adventures. Keep us posted.

<<<<I believe that monogamy is a very difficult thing to maintain and that deep down inside the human being there is a desire to be with many partners.>>>

***applause***

Interestingly, in certain belief systems “cheating” isn’t described solely in terms of physical conact, but is said to begin once the mind takes it’s first bite of a piece of strange. Although I am not a practicing monogamist (serial or otherwise) I happen to agree with this assesment. One even finds remnants of this kind of thought in our modern day judicial establishment- i.e. a crime which is said to be “premeditated” is held up as being more heinous. Really, what in our lives comes into existence which was not first a thought?

Here’s a question for all the jealous guys out there who get that “punched in the stomach” feeling when they think about “their” chicks getting it on with another: do you think that every time your girl masturbates that she thinks only of you?

More likely is that in her mind she’s blowing the UPS guy or getting banged by the pastor as she diddles herself off while we’re away at the office.

Do you have a problem with that? I don’t.

Forbidden fruit and unknown pleasures appeal to us all: male, female, married, celibate, whatever…

What I’ve noticed in my life is that my life and psychological innards function much better when I’m *open to possibilities* and that the cluster-fuck and instability only creeps in when I reach for something unnaturally, with fear, or with the desire to own it. Some of the only regrets I have in my life stem from my ever having gotten married to a very possesive and close minded partner. During my ten year marriage to her I met two or three VERY special ladies with whom I had a deep and immediate connection. The only thing keeping us apart was my marriage. Beyond my divorce I swore that paper contracts and hopeful promises would never get in the way of my soul or that of my partner again- and, as they say, that has made all the difference!

I must now note that this is my 69th post- ***slurp***

lol.

Some very interesting stuff there wantsmore, I have to go to work so can’t take the time to reply at the moment.

I can say that I enjoyed the posts.

Later
A