(Not Really) Deep Thoughts #1, by BH

So this will be a monthly piece I write on my Not Really Deep Thoughts on PE, the penis, and male sexual psychology (you may want to check out now, folks..). OK, it won’t be monthly, but this is where I’ll ‘contain’ them for the sake of the board.

So here’s my first thought. Hit me this AM.. First a quote from an article on female breast-oriented orgasms (!) and then the relevant thought:

>>Although virtually all women are aware that their breasts are a major source of attraction for men, many women have ambivalent feelings about their breasts. They may be dissatisfied with the shape or size of their breasts, or be critical of the shape and size of their nipples. As a result, they may go through a bout of anxiety the first time they expose their naked breasts to a new lover. Not surprisingly then, loving attention paid to their breasts throughout the sex act constitutes a very powerful form of reassurance. The attendon a man pays to a woman’s breasts is his way of proclaiming her sexual attractiveness, and may allay her self-doubts by reinforcing her self-concept of being a desirable woman. <<

Well, I know this point is true in regards to a majority of women. And I don’t know why, but this AM I realized that perhaps the main reason I want a woman to express desire and affection for my penis is because deep inside it tells me she is attracted to me sexually on a very simple, physical plane.

Yes, I know women are attracted by other things such as personality and all that. As a man, so am I. But my penis is the most overt sexual aspect of my body, and her attraction and appreciation does wonders for me on many different levels. I don’t need the sicko penis-worship that some guys go after, but I do want to know it *really* turns her on.

I believe this is one of those things that women often tend to dismiss. I feel as if they often fail to understand that men have the same basic needs/wants as they do, but by nature express them differently. Western society with it’s Oprah-worship of women and their ‘needs’ really tends to throw this reciprocal kind of thinking to the wayside. To the detriment of everyone.

OK, got really up on a social soapbox at the end, but what do you think of the hypothesis?

For committed relationships, sex is more than just physical…Turning your woman on has more to do with mental stimulation.

Now that I’ve said that…
A lot of men have insecurities about their penis, and if your woman expresses desire for that “insecurity”, then your insecurity is somewhat lifted from your mind, your confidence is skyrocketed, thus making both you and your woman happy.

But that’s just what I think…

True, true, sooo true. It’s important for both partners to take it to that level.

Yeah, I guess this is true. My point, which might not have been made clear, is that it just increases things for me sexually. I don’t really suffer from an insecurity about my penis. It’s just that it amps things up more when she goes off about it. Same as if I go off about her body. You know, add a few degrees to the erection angle.

The real point is: communication, and part of it being an expression of personal attraction to your mate’s body, is an essential part of a healthy sex life.

I completely agree with you. Plus, I think what you have been saying is the same as being comfortable. When your girl says something positive about you and you do the same towards her, then both of you become SUPERHEROs in bed…a little boost in ego is good for both you and her.

Good post, SS. Good to have you here. :)