Penis pumps, Steve-O and PlayboyTV

I’ll admit it, I subscribe to PlayboyTV- US$10 for a fairly decent array of fairly hardcore full penetration porn. They have a gag hidden camera show called Totally Busted, which brings me to this post.

On tonight’s episode- don’t know if it’s fresh or not- Steve-O [the wackjob from Jackass] grabs up a Kaplan pump from someplace and proceeds to try it out on the back of a cab with some floozie named Tanya James, all the while complaining how small he is. When not much happens he disses pumping as BS.

Here’s the irony- if I hadn’t stumbled onto Thunders I would have bought his rap that it doesn’t work. Now I just watched and thought how Steve-O was doing ti wrong- he wasn’t hard when he went into the pump, he wasn’t lubed, he wasn’t watching his pressure- all the details that the pump gurus have drilled into my thick skull since I logged on here almost a year ago.

A big part of his schtick is how underhung he is.

Thing is, toward the end Steve-O started getting a little wood going and commented on how his schvantz was getting h-you-g-e.
Which he promptly attributed to his porn cooze as he dissed the pump as BS.

Poor shmuck- if he only knew how close to the promised land he was.

I’ve had a similar experience - in reverse. Before discovering that there was in fact a holy grail of penis enlargement out there, I’d read an article in “Score” magazine(which caters to men who like large breasts) about penis pumps, in which the authors summarily dismissed them as useless garage clutter. REasoning that the pump’s penis enlargement qualities were only temporary, they felt it to be about as useless as stretching your dick for 30 minutes a day!

Oh so close…and yet so far away.

Morons.

Bullshit media commentary like that contributes to sooo many men’s ongoing dissatisfaction.

I danced around PE in the pre- pervasive WWW days, running across odd commentary in odder bookstores like Shakespeare & Co on lower B’way and [the now defunct] Coliseum just off Columbus Circle, but never ran across any mainstream media that even offered that PE might be legit.

And to own my own shit, I accepted their dismissal with a remarkable lack of overriding skepticism, letting my initial doubt over PE in general overtake my questioning of the questioners.

How different things might have been.

Such as it is, at least I have taken the reins into my own hands.

Let them think that, LOL! It’s either Tanya James bitching at how small it is or her bitching about 8 inches of solid girth being slowly crammed into her primary sex organ.

It remindes me of an off color joke… cleaned up.

Do you know why poor guys have big dicks?

Becuase when they were young they did have toys.

Oh so true.