Vacu-tech or Bathmate??

Exactly that.

I guess you could throw a sponge in there, if it makes you feel better too. So I could rig one of these brake bleed fluid jars in between an expensive computerized vacuum pump setup and my tube so I’m not breaking my equipment?

I’d be a bit wary of doing this with an electric pump, the standard mityvac fluid jar is pretty small an fills up very fast, you may need something a good bit larger to prevent accidentally sucking water in.

The other problem as you pointed out is the moisture especially with hot water. I would look into an inline moisture filter like the ones used between compressors and spray guns assuming your pump doesn’t already have one ?

try an auto parts store they would have them don’t you have one called Prince Auto? They would have it.