ICANNdoIT journal

PREFACE (sorry so long—it’s been a long journey.. My log is below)

I’m restarting PE after close to a decade of absence. Not sure why I stopped when I did, but I’m sure real life and being in my 20’s and wanting to party got in the way. The fact is, PE really worked for me when I was in college. My freshman year is when I started, just for shits and giggles. I never really was that routine with it and usually only had time to do it in the shower for a few minutes. And, I’m sure I did stuff all wrong, but I’ll be damned if it didn’t work. I don’t recall measurements, but I was right around average (5.5-6” BPEL and probably around 4.5-4.8” EG).

Never had any complaints, even made a couple girls bleed from sex during high school. But remember, this was my teenage years when just about every girl was tight as hell. When I went to college, I had the luxury of going to the same school as my HS senior year GF. We were sexually active already, but I was looking forward to doing it whenever we wanted to at college (this is basically had it turned out being, which was awesome!).

One week during the summer before freshman year, we were at the beach. We had been in the sun all day hanging with friends, and find some alcohol that we had throughout the day. That evening, we started talking about things we liked about sex. Somehow we got on the subject of penis size and how I was the longest she had been with. I was pretty stoked to hear that, but then she mentioned totally nonchalantly that it be cool if I could get a bit thicker. As soon as she said it, she realized what she said and I swear she looked mortified and afraid that I’d be angry. She then started saying she was more than happy with my size and loved it and reassured me that I was not small. She also, that night, was extra kinky in bed obviously trying to make up for it. I didn’t mind at the time, plus the sex was amazing that night, but I think it stayed in the back up my mind.

Fast forward a few months and were now at college. Totally new world, for those that went to college you understand. I was still with my GF, and we were very active in the bedroom. At 18 years old, I was always rock hard when erect. That was never an issue at that age. However, internet porn was really becoming a “big” thing now and I was watching that when I wasn’t with my GF. I think this is when I started to second guess my size, thinking back to what my GF said at the beach and seeing the size of the males in these pictures and videos.

So, I started looking online about it and that’s when I found the world of PE. Some of it made sense. But I didn’t understand all of it, nor did I want too. I just wanted to get bigger, if possible. I actually paid $30 to get access to a website that only members could access all of the exercises. I’m not exactly sure how long it was from when I started to when I started to see a difference. Like I said, I wasn’t really in a routine, just whenever I had time. It must have been a couple months, but I will never forget the moment when my GF realized it. We were in her dorm room, and her suite mades were in the main suite outside her room. We started messing around and she when done to pull it out and started to give me a bj. Well, I guess she was used to how far she could go down, so she started like normal as I was getting hard. But then, she gagged. And right away she knew someone was different. She started looking at it and right away said it was longer and she couldn’t believe it. And she got loud about it, to the point where I had to tell her to be quiet so her suite mates wouldn’t hear her. The hottest thing was when she rested her chin on my pelvis, held up my unit beside her face, and started tapping her forehead with it saying “It’s as big as my face!” .all said with wide eyes and a sexy ass smile. That was all the encouragement and proof I needed that this stuff really worked. I started looking more into PE, because now that I knew I could gain length, I wanted the girth she mentioned before. The girth wasn’t as easy to come by, and I think I mainly gained only about the base of my unit.

However, my length seemed to gain fairly easy. A couple years later, a new GF, and after intermittent PE routines, I was very confident in my unit. My GF at the time often bragged about it with her roommates. One of her roommates even said she could draw a picture of it without ever seeing it because my GF told her so much about it. During this time, I could measure anywhere from 7 - 7.5” EL. That variance, I’m sure, was more about my error in measuring, but I did notice fluctuations in EQ at times that may have contributed also. I did not do PE as much during the time with this GF since I was happy with the size and she already acted like I was huge.

Jump forward a few years.. I had graduated college and I was now single. And I was actually single for a while, which led to more porn. A lot of porn, and webcams chats, etc. I masturbated all the time, and never gave any time to PE. More importantly, I did not pursue any females and was content with my life. Basically, I was stuck in a rut and didn’t realize the damage being done.

Probably two years went by like this, dating sparingly and only having sex a few times. My EQ dropped and I think this caused most of my gains to regress. I luckily meet my future wife during this time and finally broke out of the rut. But it was tough to break out of the porn addiction. I struggled with it for years, even into the start of our marriage. EQ continued to drop, and then anxiety-based ED affected me for a while, as well. This is when I actually learned about the effects porn can have on guys. For years now, I’ve majorly cut back on porn and this has definitely had a positive effect on EQ, libido, etc. However, I still didn’t regain any size lost from those dark times. I was hopeful that maybe it was all EQ related, but I guess over time you can lose in the same way you can gain.

My wife has never been one to boost my ego by saying I’m huge, and I know she’s been with guys that are larger than me. The only thing she said about being with larger guys (this is from when we just started dating) is that prolonged sex was painful. However, at that point she quickly changed the subject and we’ve never really discussed it since. On the flip side, she’s never seemed to think I’m small either, and some positions do seem somewhat painful for her with me, to where I cannot fully penetrate her without her gasping and pushing me out.

So, I never really worried about size for years. I am older and wiser now, I’m married and at this point our sex life was very good. But, just recently, an event took place that ended up making me feel very insecure about my size. My wife and some friends went out one night, one of her friends mentioned going to a strip club, and then they all went. I only found out after she told me about the night’s events. It didn’t really bother me at first, but I finally had to bring it up because it was beginning to stew. The next week or so we discussed it a few times, because I couldn’t get over it, especially when she started telling me details of it all. I guess she wanted to give detail to show me that she didn’t do anything (I never thought she did) but all it made me think was of how she said she and her friends were talking about every guy there and comparing them all. Naturally, I start thinking my wife is now comparing me to what she saw, as well. Basically, they saw one guy with a 12” unit and they all talked about how could it fit and how he wouldn’t go all the way in.. And how they all felt sorry for the guy standing next to him… Blah blah blah. Not sure why it bothered me, but I couldn’t get over my wife looking at a bunch of naked guys 10 feet away from her and talking about their junk. Thus, I began to feel insecure about my size. Even though I know it’s still a little above average now, I know it can be bigger, because it has been bigger. I want my confidence in myself again, I want that feeling I had during college where I knew I could please my GF and turn her on by just swinging it around so she could see it. After finally getting over the whole strip club thing (it still stings a bit honestly) our sex is still good now. But I know I can make it better if I feel more confident in myself. This all happening reminded me of PE and the positive effects it had on me. PE is only one way I am working to improve myself. I’m eating a healthier diet, I want to work out/exercise, and improve my communication with my wife. My log below is only documenting one of the many ways I plan to make a better, more confident me.

TL;DR
PE worked for me in the past.. I gained.. I stopped for years and then lost most of the gains along with some anxiety-based ED… I’m now here to gain it back and then some!

WEEK 1
March 6th
I decided to start a newbie routine influenced by the JP90 routine. Basically, warm up - stretch - dry jelq - lightly stretch - warm down.

I find that this is all very familiar, and my penis takes to the exercises very well. I start this routine with a 5on/2off the first week. I almost immediately notice positive PIs resulting in morning wood (I have rarely gotten or noticed this for a few years) and harder erections when stimulated. Flaccid size seems more heavy, plump and full, as does my EG. It’s difficult not getting carried away with this, since I want to jump back to what I did years ago.

Starting measurements:
BPEL - 6 3/16” | MEG - 4 13/16” | FL - 3 ⅜” | FG - maybe 3”?

WEEK 2
March 17th
It’s been close to two weeks, and I’m really seeing some good benefits from PE already. My flaccid hang is much better. During the day it used to turtle up when wearing boxer briefs, and I hated how it looked when it did that. I’ve noticed that it is not turtling nearly as much, and within seconds of freeing it from the briefs, it fills out some and hangs lower. By the end of a piss at the urinal, it is hanging maybe over 4” now. Has a bit of bounce and swing to it when it’s free now!

Sex last night with the wife did actually feel different. I got a little gasp out of her that is not usual when entering her from the missionary position. I’m not sure if it’s in my head or not, but I did feel like I felt more of her… perhaps a little deeper and but definitely more sensations of her along the sides of my shaft. My erection was much firmer, I think she felt this the most, and it felt a little fuller as well. Her facial expressions seemed a bit different, in a good way. Not sure if she consciously felt any differences, but her gasps and how wet she got was a nice sign.

Definitely makes me eager to continue my routine to see any other improvements that might come along.

WEEK 3
March 24
Perhaps I got a little over eager in training this week with intensity. EQ seemed to go down a bit or fluctuated during the week. I’m still doing the 5on/2off and I’m starting to question if that’s too often, or if I’m just getting too intense during the sessions. Sex was still good and no issues getting erect, so that’s positive. Morning wood fluctuated during the week, it wasn’t fully firm one day and non-existent another day. That said, there were still times where my unit would stand at full attention and just look “meaner”. Veins are more pronounced, this helps my unit look thicker when it’s flaccid. I’m still doing a variation of the JP90 routine, however this week I focused more on warming up instead of rushing through it to get to the jelqing sessions.

Routine (5on/2off):
Warm up - 10 mins
Stretch - in all directions/helicopter shake/ and a bit of penis slapping - 10 mins
Dry jelq - no set reps, go off of what my unit tells me, probably around 20 mins total. I take a few breaks from jelqing to go to full erection to get new blood flowing.
Warm down - 5 mins
Light stretch - in all directions - at least 30 seconds each way
More penis slaps to circulate blood
More heat for a couple mins and a couple JAI stretches

WEEK 4
March 31
Sex was great this week! Early in the week, the wife actually said “That dick is so deep in there, I love it!” as she rode on it and came about 10-15 seconds later. Now, that’s a pretty serious statement since I hardly ever hear that kind of thing from her, and when I do it’s usually when she’s tipsy. We were stone sober for this though. I’m positive that most of the difference that she may be feeling is from better EQ as I’m much harder when erect, though I don’t think any gains have really occurred yet (I’ve held off from measuring to just focus on the routine and not be ‘all about the gains’ right away). With the improved EQ, I will say that my unit does look more impressive when at 70-90% erect. Not too much difference at 100%, maybe the base looks thicker? But I do know something is going right by the wife’s reactions and the aftermath of her just laying on me unable to move for a minute or so.

Later in the week, another successful night with the wife during this week. And another comment I don’t usually hear during sex about my unit. I was a little more pre-occupied to remember verbatim (we were both close to finishing), but I believe it had to do with ‘big’ or ‘hard’? And she came twice on it. It is much more intense while inside her with this improved EQ. I may enjoy it as much as she does. I feel more of her, I’m assuming, because I’m much more rigid. This results in pushing against her walls more during sex, where I think before I maybe conform since I wasn’t rock hard? Definitely different sensations for both of us, and that think it’s better. She may not even realize a difference yet, but subconsciously I think she feels it (even manifesting into comments about it).

I’ve actually tested out with ULI’s this week during my sessions, albeit only for about 10-15 seconds each for 2-3 reps. And I’ve not done them every day, but with a 2-day break between. I still am doing 5on/2off. Some small red dots appear after ULI’s, but are gone after a day or so. The day after the first ULI set I did a very light session. The 2nd ULI set was done the day before the 2 rest days. I’ve noticed the day after the first ULI’s my BEG felt bigger. Still no measurements, but with my OK grip it felt girthier and more solid. That new feeling has stayed for the most part since then. Hoping the 2 days off allow everything to heal up and ready to go again next week. PI’s has stayed pretty positive, some mornings still not fully erect, but my flaccid hang in the mornings have been very impressive. Wish they lasted throughout the day like that!

Routine (5on/2off):
Warm up - 10 mins
Stretch - in all directions/helicopter shake/ and a bit of penis slapping - 10 mins
Dry jelq - no set reps, go off of what my unit tells me, probably around 20 mins total. I take a few breaks from jelqing to go to full erection to get new blood flowing.
Warm down - 5 mins
ULI’s - 10-15 seconds/2-3reps. Only performed in 2 of the 5 sessions (2 days between ULI days)
Light stretch - in all directions - at least 30 seconds each way
More penis slaps to circulate blood
More heat for a couple mins and a couple JAI stretches

The improved EQ is awesome, and that alone has made everything more enjoyable. I’m looking forward more improvements during this journey.

Two rest days are in the bag. I’ve noticed in the 3 mornings since my last session that I’ve have pretty solid morning wood. And the flaccid hang for the first 15-30 minutes of the day has been really impressive. I’m really hoping that this is a sign that at least my flaccid is about to gain, I’ve always wanted to be a ‘shower’!

Today will be a lighter session to get back into the swing of things. Mostly just stretches and some jelqing. I’ve down some light JAIs over the last two days, though not sure if they do anything or not. I’ve noticed that my flaccid seems a little bit more spongy when doing them, however.

I did measure my BPSFL since I have never done it before. It was just above 6.9”, almost 7”. Was a bit surprised by that, but then again is was BP so that adds some to the visible length. FL was just over 4”, so there has been a little gain in length. I did not do any erect measurements.

I’ve noticed that I’m becoming very sensitive during sex, especially in missionary position. I am better while wife is on top, plus that’s where she seems to be enjoying the new EQ the most.

One thing I have failed to mention so far is that I am performing kegels. I think this is one of the main reasons for the EQ improvements. I remember in college that my PC muscles were very strong, and probably helped me get the gains that I had. This muscle group has definitely weakened over time, so I’m working on building it back up. I am starting to feel blood move into my unit when I kegel, especially when erect.

4/7/17:

Some gains have occurred in the first month back! I attribute most to the EQ improvement, though the past week EQ has weakened a bit. Hopefully the weekend resting will bring that back to close to 100%.

BPEL - 7” | NPBEL- 6 3/8” | BEG- 5 1/4” | FL- 4 1/4” | BPFSL- 7”

Compelling story, well written!

Glad to hear you are experiencing positive results again.

Do you know what was the maximum girth you had reached back then?

Btw that stripper wasn’t 12” ;)

Thanks for reading! Keeping these notes and having feedback from others is extra motivation to continue this journey.

Unfortunately, I do not remember what my max girth was before I stopped back then. I don’t remember measuring it that much, honestly, even though it was the initial factor for me to do PE. I think once I started seeing length gains, that took over.

About the stripper, I wanted to tell her that as well! But the fact she and her friends​ thought he was made me think she liked it (when you like something, at least for myself, I’ll exaggerate a bit to make it better, out bigger in this case). She also said the guy they felt sorry for was only 1/2 inch.. Basically they saw two examples of 0.001% of the male population standing naked five feet from each other. Hard to grasp the odds of that!

EQ was back and raring to go last night! I know my wife feels the difference now, by her face she makes when I first fully penetrate her, and then with what she says when she’s sitting on it.

While on top of me last night, she mentioned a few times how deep it felt. The third time she mentioned “I don’t know why, but it feels so deep in there, it feels so good”, I could no longer hold back; because seriously.. If you’re not use to hearing that in the past and now she’s gushing over how deep and good it feels.. It’s fucking hot as hell.

Shortly after I finished, she mentioned how she loves when it comes inside her, and she looked sexy hell when she came.

I think the BEG is making the biggest difference, beside the harder/firmer erections. Its definitely making me more sensitive because she’s getting tighter when I’m all the way in.

My sex drive is rising through the roof now, as well. I want to see more of those​ faces she makes during the act. Plus, I notice I’m not lasting as long as I’d like to, in part because she feels tighter but also because of her remarks. More sex will give me more practice to last longer with my bigger unit!

My flaccid hang this morning looks full and meaner than usual, more veiny and heavier looking. I also had rock hard morning wood.

One more rest day today, then I’m ready to continue my routine (nothing has changed).

4/11/17

Not sure what to do here. I guess I’m experiencing my first true negative PIs? Which is strange because this is occurring after multiple rest days.

Basically, Saturday was my first rest after 5 days on. Horny all day and that night that we had great sex, with great EQ and full hard-on.

Sunday (2nd rest day in a row) good morning wood and flaccid hang started out big, but got smaller thoughout the day, but not quite ever turtled. Not much sex drive until Sunday evening when my wife was laying a certain way on the couch that caught my eye. Though, still didn’t do anything about it.. Haha..

Monday, morning wood had low EQ (also seemed smaller at the BEG where I’ve seen good gains recently) and small flaccid hang with no fluctuation in size (some days my flaccid is bigger randomly throughout the day — almost like a small semi-erect). Again no drive throughout the day. This was suppose to be my first day of 5 days on, but I didn’t feel like I should. I did heat up in the shower and stretch a little in each direction along with kegels during the stretch, but that’s all I did.

Today, decent morning wood but smaller than a normal erection, though I was laying on my stomach at the time. I decided to see how my unit would respond to a session. Took a bit to get it to where I could jelq effectively at 50-70%. Noticed that BEG initially seemed smaller. Though, I did notice towards the end of the seeing my unit seemed to “wake up” a bit and I at least felt a little excitement there. BEG towards the end of session felt closer to what it was like last week. EQ still did not seem 100%, however. I also felt like I could ejaculate a couple times during the session when not fully erect, and without much stimulation.

The only thing different from any day mentioned here was Friday night I drank a lot of alcohol, yet Saturday I still functioned at 100% mentally and physically (in terms of wanting and having sex).

I’m confused as to why this all seems to have occurred after my rest/off days? Especially when my 1st rest on Saturday I was raging hard and ready to go as soon as I was in bed with my wife. The day before on Friday was even a bit intense of a workout (ULI’s). My sleep hasn’t been the best the last few nights, but that is much of a change from the norm. Maybe it’s something psychological but I don’t feel like something is on my mind. I did, though, have a tough week at work last week (hence the drinking Friday night). Maybe it is still affecting me, and today at work isn’t helping if that is the case.

We’ll see how I respond after today’s session. Thus far, flaccid hang still seems smaller that it has the past couple weeks. Hopefully it’s just a phase, or even better, a sign of growth coming? I’ve read somewhere that some guys experience EQ drops before gains? Perhaps I should continue to rest until EQ improves. Somewhat encouraged though that it seemed a little better towards the end of today’s session.

So, EQ has rebounded. However, I still feel it isn’t​ where it was a week and a half ago.

Also, seems that BEG gains have disappeared back to what it was before PE. Very strange, and a little disappointing.

I’ll continue this week to see if there is any difference after another week.