Cable Clamp Alternatives
Want to Wench, but can’t find a Cable Clamp? All your friends teasing you because they are Wenching and you aren’t? Have no fear, there are alternatives! Granted, none of them are as elegant. And you would not use any of them if you could get a Cable Clamp. But these clamps will work, and they will get you hanging. I have tested each one up to 20 pounds in 20 minute sets, so I hope you appreciate my sore penis because I did it all just for you (I own a zillion Cable Clamps myself, and usually hang at 15 pounds).
Clamp #1 is a simple 2” c-clamp I purchased at the Home Depot for $1.96. It is ugly, but it works just fine. It has a tendency to leave circular marks in the Wench - but who cares. I didn’t show it in the photo, but I found that placing a couple 1x2 inch paint stick pieces between the clamp and the Wench eliminated the marks, and made the clamp less likely to twist off if one bumps the clamp hard while hanging. For me it was just easier to use it as shown and not to bump the thing much.
Clamp #2 is a 4” Quick Grip Handi-Clamp clamp made by Irwin. It cost $5.90 at Home Depot. This clamp goes on and comes off instantly, so it is very nice that way. But it is bulky. Really bulky. After I took the photo, I drilled some holes in the handles at the ends and ran a string through them. Then I hung weights from the string between the clamp handles. I kind of like this, as I can attach the clamp and the weights at the same time. I hang my set, then release the clamp and the weight at the same time - leaving the Wench on but without any pressure. 10 minutes later, on goes the clamp with the weights. I have actually gotten to like this more than the Cable Clamp, it is so quick and easy - and I can do it all easily one-handed (which was important when I hurt my hand last month). What’s more, I can really crank down on the clamp and I imagine that one could easily hang 100 pounds off it as tight as it can get (and if you are hanging 100 pounds, please send me a picture!)
Clamp #3 is a 2” spring clamp, bought for $2.96 at the Home Depot. I have seen them at Wallmart, hardware stores, and at lumberyards. They are cheap and easy to use. Just put it on as shown in the photo, and you are off and hanging. A little ungainly looking, but it does indeed work. Be careful putting it on though. Until you get the hang of it, the clamp has a tendency to twist off the grippers if you let go too quickly. After a few nasty pinches you will get the hang of it though! It does go on and come off instantly though, and it will hold the weight, so it earns a place here.
Clamp #4 is a 2” Irwin Quick Grip Handi-Clamp. It cost $4.90 at Home Depot and I bought it because the 4” I already had and was using was overkill. The 2” works wonderfully as shown. I have difficulty getting it on in the manner shown in the 4” clamp picture (#2). I can do it, but I have to squish my penis head a bit to get it where I want it. Still, it is half the bulk of the 4” clamp, and with the holes drilled in the handles it can be used exactly as I have described the 4” clamp - so if you were going to try out one of these fine clamps I would have to say the 2” one would be the place to start. I actually have 15 pounds tied to the 4” clamp, and 12 pounds tied to the 2” clamp and switch clamps based on how much I want to hang. Ah, decadence.
Clamp #5 is a combination of 3 things, but when assembled it works fine and is the most compact of all the clamping mechanisms. What’s more, it is the best looking! You will need a releasable wire tie. I bought a package of 15 black Releasable Tie/UV in 7” length from the Home Depot for $2.97. If you can find some just a little longer that would be helpful if you are wider flaccid (I am 5” flaccid and 7” just barely makes it, but it does work). If you find you can’t get one wire tie around your Wench, you can always put the male end of one tie into the female end of the another and make a longer length. For goodness sakes, only get the releasable wire ties. If you do not, you will have to cut them off. I don’t know about you, but ever since my circumcision as a baby I have gotten really nervous when knives come anywhere near my penis. And for that reason, practice with the wire tie first before you use it. There is a short learning curve with them. Once you get the hang of it they come right off. But until you figure out the technique, they will stay locked. So practice snugging them around something and releasing them until you feel comfortable with the process. Of course you can always cut one off it it gets stuck, but then there is that whole knife near the penis thing again.
The second component is the wire tie gun. I have a hellishly expensive one myself, but I bought and tried out the pictured “cheap” one. It works just fine. Pictured in #5 is a Thomas&Betts Tighten/Trim Tool which is the least expensive one I could find and it was $10 at Home Depot. Ouch. But who couldn’t use one anyway? Use the gun and some ties to hogtie women or perhaps even bundle all those messy wires coming out of your computer and snaking all over the place. Anyway, the gun is necessary to get enough pressure out of the tie to hold the weight of hanging. The more weight you hang, the tighter the tie needs to be. Just don’t use the tool to trim off the end of the tie if you want to reuse the tie (and you do want to reuse the tie, right?)
The last component is bigger grippers. This will work without them, but I am uncomfortable with the amount of pressure the wire tie places on my dorsal nerve when I am hanging above 10 pounds without this modification. So if you want to hang with the beautiful, sexy wire tie, please make this mod to your grippers. I find that grippers that measure 2x2 inches provide the best margin of safety for me. Now I am pretty wide (5” flaccid), so you may find you can cut that down to say 1.5x2. What you want is to be able to squeeze the sides of the Wench without putting any pressure on the top of your penis. Since the grippers originally recommended in Wench construction come in 1x4 rectangles, they are not up to this task. One may purchase bigger grippers and cut them down, but I find using a scrap piece of wood, plastic or metal is cheaper and works better (see the discussion on Alternative Grippers).
Now, with the bigger grippers in place, you merely have to put on the wench, wrap the tie, and use the gun to snug it up. I find that different tension is needed for different weights. The more weight, the more tension on the tie. For 10 pounds, I use a snug fit, and for 15 I crank it down tight. For the 20 on my testing I really went to town. A little experimenting will go a long way here.
Clamp #6 is a common 2.5 inch (64mm) muffler clamp. Any auto shop, anywhere in the world should have one. I bought mine at Autozone for $0.98. They come in many sizes, but I recommend this one because it will put plenty of pressure on the sides of the penis without putting any on the top (dorsal nerve). You will need a wrench or some pliers to get in on or off, and it is completely ugly, but it will work marvelously well. Use it as shown, with the bolts on the side. If the threads bottom out before it is tight enough for you to hang, just put some padding between the clamp and the wench on the sides, or better, get some washers and put them under then nuts. Just do be careful not to scrape your leg.
