Damage to Corpus Spongiosum

Hi everyone,

I’ve been preparing and planning for this post for some time about something serious in my life. This post is for me to find answers, seek support, follow advice and maintain a hope for a resolution. Please post serious and productive comments only. Including any questions, comments, concerns, ideas, corrections, contacts or answers if you have them.

Every day for the past 10 yrs I’ve lived with Body Dysmorphic Disorder. The thing is, what I see is not imaginary. Its real. What I most desire is to appear normal.

Background:
Almost 10 yrs ago, when I was 13 yrs old I was horny all the time. One day I was on vacation with my aunt and uncle. I decided to tie a very rough thin rope around my penis. We went somewhere public with no restrooms, I became erect and it started to hurt and I couldn’t take it off. 3 hours passed and we finally went somewhere with a restroom (my family had no idea what was going on). When I saw my penis I was shocked and very scared. It was so swollen and dark. I knew from that point that I severely damaged my penis. Having good reason to believe that the corpus spongiosum tissue of my penis was severely and permanently damaged.
I’ve lived these past 10 years hoping it would heal, or that someday someone would have an answer that could help me fix it. When I finally became sexually active, my penis would not get erect sometimes and the embarrassment only made things worse. I have not been able to feel like a normal male. And I’ve hated the way my penis looks. I constantly think about changing it, but not to make it better than anyone else’s, just to make it look normal.

I’ve heard that the medical world has successfully practiced recreating and growing limbs or organs from a patient’s own DNA and also growing human ears, noses, and even a penis on the backs of rats. I think about and wish for this every day–to have a completely new penis grown made from my cells, remove mine and attach the new one so that I can ‘start over’.

This issue has consumed me every day, and I’ve even thought about suicide. I don’t want to die. But I don’t want to live unhappy. I just want to live a normal healthy and sexual life.

Its difficult already to meet someone, to judge your personality and appearance. But its even harder passing that criteria, and finding someone that will not judge or perhaps even LIKE your penis.

Current Stats:
-I’m Latino, 22yo, 5’9 , 140-150lbs generally
-Penis size: depends; generally 6.5 EL x 4.5 EG. I’ve ranged from 5.5 EL-7 EL, and 4.5 EG-5 EG. Penis hasn’t grown much since the trauma at 13.

Diagnosed and being treated for: hypothyroidism, low testosterone, depression, KP, granular colitis. Urologists have deemed my penis “normal” when they see it. I disagree.

Description of genitals and trauma: Apparent discoloration, inflammation, circumcision scar, head (glans) tissue damage/scarring.

Bloodflow: Normally my genital bloodflow throughout the day is low or none. Creating tight ball sac, shrunken/hidden penis. (COLD)

To show its contrasting look I’ve used a heating “bag” called Wonder Warmer, or have sat on pleather/leather that heated my genitals letting it hang due to the WARMTH that created bloodflow. Demonstrated are also pictures of me pulling my balls back to make the illusion of a longer penis, (although my ball sac shouldn’t be tight, up and out anyway).

When erect, head and bottom ridge (corpus spongiosum) does not “fill” usually without wearing a cockring.

Color: Discoloration and glans tissue damage is apparent.

Possible conditions/treatments I’ve researched:

1. An atrophic and sclerotic condition of the head of the penis (glans). Sometimes leading to stenosis and occasionally obliteration of the external meatal orifice.

2. If the cremaster reflex is CAUSED by the cremaster MUSCLE, is there a way to remove the muscle permanently or paralyze the muscle so that scrotum hangs? Different options? Muscle relaxer?

3. If a doctor can create a penis for FTM transgender, I figure the same could be possible for a male penile reconstruction.

4. Seroma classifies priapism into low-blood flow (ischemic) and high-blood flow (nonischemic) conditions. A color-flow scrotal ultrasound can evaluate scrotal vasculature.

5. See dermatologist for dermal treatment (microdermabrasion or laser). I don’t believe it will cure internal tissue damage of the glans, veins, and corpus spongiosum though.

Thank you for your time. Included are pictures of exactly what I see every day. Please help

Here are pictures of implants ideas— but I would rather have a healthy penis with good regular bloodflow, than implants filling it in.

You needed one more Poll option:

Yes - Due to Violence

If you had that it’s what I would have chosen.

What is your penile/scrotal trauma? (If you don’t mind me asking TS)

You did mention that you have low testosterone and and hypothyroidism that could explain your poor erections and other related symptoms. If your doctor will put you on some hormone to remedy that you will find that the erections will fill out . The hypothyroidism can mess up your upbeat attitude. Along with tiredness and depression you won’t be in your finest mood. The mood swings and irritability and so forth!

Go and see a good endocrinologist and an urologist for treatment. I bet you will feel better about yourself. You have a lot of years left in you to be wasted in regretting over what had happened 1o yrs ago. Let others be the judge. When the right time comes along wear a condom - nobody can tell the difference or dim the light. Finally you do look normal.

Hey BigFinale,

Since your extremities are cold, have low EQ, and low testosterone, your thyroid treatment may not be helping. I just discovered a book about the underlying causes and treatment of hypothyroidism The Thyroid Book | Hashimotos Hypothyroidism Fatigue by a Dr. Datis Kharrazian with a long list of acronyms after his name. Sounds like it could have some new answers. Maybe there’s a cure in there for me too.

I’m not sure if doctors in my region are imbicilic idiots taking their positions as care givers for granted, but I’m living in a metropolitan area now. I am being treated for low t with androgel (2-5 pumps a day, past 6 months). At first I would have erections all the time, and rock solid! now not so much. My t is now normal range (before was 300, now 900+).

Also taking levothyroxin (synthetic for synthroid—or other way around).

Pussy pounder, I’m going to look into this book, it sounds like it has some good suggestions and answers.

Sincerely appreciate your comments and advice guys. I really trust this site for help with this as i believe we all have a common purpose here… To maintain and enhance a healthy & functional penis.

I used to be very self conscious about my penis size, but now I realize my size is fine, I would just like it to look aesthetically/cosmetically normal and function normally (ei. Bloodflow during flaccidity).

Again, thanks guys!

Do you have any pain associated with your penis or testicles?

I have numbness at the tip of my glans (meatus?) after a long period of a vigorous erection. In fact fluid fills the tip and the lighter colored part of my foreskin (as shown in the pictures). When the incident happened at 13 and I saw my penis I wanted to cry! I was sooo scared because I knew I did something really bad. Sure my penis looked big, and for days. At that moment I saw it was a dark purple/brown, all I could think to do is rip the the string off. And now I have this internal scarring and numbness after an erection. :(

My testicles don’t hurt, but when my scrotum is tight/cold, and I pull on the skin it feels like it’s being ripped apart.

(note: I had a circumcision and testicular implants 10 months ago).

Not to sound like I regret having the surgery done, but I kind if wish I wouldn’t have gotten the circumcision— I think too much of the lighter part of the foreskin was removed.

Sorry for so many topics for just one thing—my penis. But this is one of the most important topics in my life. And I am just looking for answers.

BigFinale I am in a similar situation as yourself. Can you give a follow up on how you are doing?

Just so you know, BigFinale hasn’t been around since 2013.