it kills me

I wish I could go back, If only I had done a little research… This could have been a happy ending story. I used the bathmate because it was recommended by so many. Even urologists on youtube gave it a shout out. I was alone with it, my first mistake was when i couldn’t get hard, i thought i had to do something but i really had to step back and do nothing… I went into use it or lose it mode. I pumped a few times flaccid went to masterbation and sex as much as possible, until nothing worked, no viagra no cialis and no morning wood. I managed to kill my penis. My penis never came back… It’s been 5 years. I wished i had found thundersplace before this mess.

Suicide is calling me. I look back and hate myself, when it all comes crashing on me all i can think about is ending it. I posted something a little while back about this i apologies, i just don’t know what to do. ED treatment is pretty archaic, the most effective is injections ,VED or implant. Sometimes i wake up in panic mode, this is when suicide starts banging at my front door and it won’t stop. i can’t believe it’s come to this. PLEASE BE AWARE OF THE BATHMATE.

Sometimes i get full of hope that stem cells or gene therapy will come save the day, but deep down i know it’s wishful thinking because it’s still being studied in rats. I went from a sex machine to a man with ED in the closet… I’ve seen a lot in my life and I’m ok with this being the end for me. I wen’t through extreme trauma that has impacted my whole life which lead to two suicide attempts in my early twenties. I’ve been struggling for a looonnnggg time. With all this on top of it i can say i’ve seen enough.

I know someone will think this is a cry for help, maybe in a way it is, I don’t really know… I just got to get out of my head.

“ “

You said, earlier, you had a counseling appointment.
Did you even go?
Nobody can help you if you don’t help yourself.

Then go get that help—in person. Anonymous commenters on a forum can help you only so much. Your issues go well beyond PE, ED, Bathmate, and all of that, especially when you mention having tried to kill yourself twice already in the past.

I wish I could go back, If only I had done a little research… This could have been a happy ending story. I used the bathmate because it was recommended by so many. Even urologists on youtube gave it a shout out. I was alone with it, my first mistake was when i couldn’t get hard, i thought i had to do something but i really had to step back and do nothing… I went into use it or lose it mode. I pumped a few times flaccid went to masterbation and sex as much as possible, until nothing worked, no viagra no cialis and no morning wood. I managed to kill my penis. My penis never came back… It’s been 5 years. I wished i had found thundersplace before this mess.

Suicide is calling me. I look back and hate myself, when it all comes crashing on me all i can think about is ending it. I posted something a little while back about this i apologies, i just don’t know what to do. ED treatment is pretty archaic, the most effective is injections ,VED or implant. Sometimes i wake up in panic mode, this is when suicide starts banging at my front door and it won’t stop. i can’t believe it’s come to this. PLEASE BE AWARE OF THE BATHMATE.

Sometimes i get full of hope that stem cells or gene therapy will come save the day, but deep down i know it’s wishful thinking because it’s still being studied in rats. I went from a sex machine to a man with ED in the closet… I’ve seen a lot in my life and I’m ok with this being the end for me. I wen’t through extreme trauma that has impacted my whole life which lead to two suicide attempts in my early twenties. I’ve been struggling for a looonnnggg time. With all this on top of it i can say i’ve seen enough.

I know someone will think this is a cry for help, maybe in a way it is, I don’t really know… I just got to get out of my head.

Sometimes it’s best just to talk and let it out.

Few questions, your attempts to end your life was it chemical or physical I.e. overdose or physically harming yourself.

I had similar issues years ago before I started drinking but drinking made things worse. I took so many overdoses my wife doesn’t even know how I’m still alive but I’m here.

My erectile function dropped to how you’ve explained yours, I can’t get an erection myself but I can when I’m intimate with wife now, depression and low mood can make it extremely difficult to get erections even morning wood.

Have you had blood tests, specifically testosterone both free and total, sex hormone binding globulin (shbg), LH, FSH, prolactin and cortisol and estrogen.

Prolactin and cortisol can stop erections when too high or when they are raised for longer periods than normal.

It may seem all doomed for now but if you can find what’s causing it you can fix it.