Quote
I don’t think I have any issues that need help beyond [finding a girlfriend]
That very thought, in my opinion (and in some other guys’ opinions stated here — e.g., the one who said he laughed out loud at it), is an “issue.” It’s ridiculous. Whenever people are down, they pin their hopes on that “one thing” missing in their lives that will make it all better. When they get that one thing, a few weeks later, they’re on to some other “one thing” that will solve their depression. It’s almost certainly not gonna happen. And you know what? The #1 reason you aren’t able to find yourself a woman, I bet, is your depression. You are constantly ruminating rather than getting out there and doing the things you need to do to succeed (like your schoolwork) and making friends.
Quote
I think about suicide daily but I won’t do it because I know it will crush my family.
You don’t think that daily suicidal thoughts are a problem? Maxtro, when you combine everything you’ve posted here, you have a textbook case of depression.
Look man, I’m only arguing with you here because I hate to see people suffer depression and refuse to seek help — so common among men.
I agree with ModestoMan very much. I doubt I will ever again be in as bad a place as I was when I was 18 to 19. SSRIs were a godsend to help me get out of that phase and build the successful life that I needed to sustain my happiness and buffer myself against any further depression. Good therapy can also be wonderful — but as you experienced at the clinic, a few therapists are useless.
What is this free clinic you speak of? If you can see an actual medical doctor there who can prescribe drugs, tell him or her about your symptoms: sleeping problems, exhaustion during the day, lack of motivation and interest, daily suicidal thoughts, loneliness, etc. If you live in the Bay area, I bet that there are programs available to cover the costs for individuals such as you who lack money and health insurance.
Also, what the heck are you doing spending money on all these supplements, when you don’t even have health insurance?!