Advice from older members

Questions:
How can I maintain healthy sexual functioning in my 60s?
Are my problems just in my head?
Am I doing more harm than good with PE?

Background:
I’m a 61yo hetero male. Happily married. No major health problems other than hypogonadism, depression, and hypothyroidism. I’m probably 20 pounds overweight, but my weight has been stable within 10 pounds for many years. When I drink, I tend to overdo it, but not so much that it impacts my job or health. However, within the past five years my sexual health has began to suffer. I used to have rock-hard erections, no problem with orgasm and ejaculations, and a robust sex drive. Now it’s becoming more common for my erections to be soft, and many times I can’t keep it hard enough to have sex. I’m also finding it more difficult to have an orgasm. Sometimes I can pound away on my wife until I’m physically exhausted and have to quit, even though I haven’t come.
One interesting issue which is also developing is that I frequently begin to ejaculate long before I orgasm. When my wife is going down on me (which she loves to do), I’ll fill her mouth with ejaculate (which she gladly swallows) until she thinks I’m done. She’ll take me out of her mouth and I’ll grab myself and stroke until I finally orgasm - with additional ejaculate.
I currently inject testosterone and HCG under a doctor’s orders (25mg EOD for Test, 25mg EOD for HCG) When I’m anticipating sex, I also take tadalafil (generic Cialis) and inject either PT-141/Bremolanotide or Melanotan. This used to guarantee a hard cock, and it used to feel like I was sleeping on a lead pipe at night. Now, it’s hit or miss.
I’ve also learned that if I drink any alcohol at all, I’m less likely to be able to complete the sex act. So if I’m hoping for sex, I don’t drink or have very little. I remember the good old days when I could fuck when I was very intoxicated. I miss those days. I also have begun wondering if weed is interfering with my erections. I take weed (I’m a lightweight) for depression and stress and relaxation - a few puffs a night.
Apparently my self-identity is closely related to my sex life. I’ve become increasingly despondent over the changes I’m encountering. I know I’ll never have the ability of a 25 year old, but at 61 I’m not ready to think of sex in the past-tense.
I also take some OTC products - horny goat weed, citrulline/arginine, icariins, pygeum, and a few others that slip my mind. All of these are supposed to help with NO2 which helps with erections.
I’ve been doing PE for at least ten years. I jelq several times a week (150 strokes) and do full package pumping. I have a decent flaccid hang and am unusually thick, flaccid or erect. Length is 7” +/-, and girth at the base is 7”+. I haven’t measured for a long time. If I get any thicker, my wife won’t be able to take me down her throat - and she has a big mouth. But maybe I need to quit PEing and hope for the best? Could PEing be causing problems?
Like I said, I’m not ready to give up on sex, but when I have a “failure to launch” it depresses me for days. I’m now considering giving up on sex, giving up on the meds, giving up on the nude photos I take of my wife and me playing (we have over 22 million views on Flickr). I know that the older I get, the more likely things are going to get worse.
I’d like to know from older guys who have experienced similar problems - what can I do to restore my ability and confidence? I have no problem initially getting erect, and usually have morning wood, so it’s not necessarily a physical problem. But is it all in my head? Do I need to up my dosage of Test/HCG/Cialis? This is a dry month for me (I abstain from sex for one month twice a year, including July), but I haven’t noticed any improvement since abstaining.
I’m really depressed and concerned about this. Mr. Happy used to never let me down, but now it’s hit or miss whether I’ll be able to fuck, and hit or miss if I’ll be able to come. I’d like some input.

Sorry for the long post,

Jake

Excellent thread. Eagerly waiting comments from experienced PE’ers.

Hey Jake!
Sorry to hear about the problems you have despite all the things you do or take to avoid those problems.
I just wonder if you have tried cock rings? They are perfect help to maintain erection. I don’t use it so often (yet) but now and then I find them useful. Another positive thing is that the make your cock not only rock hard but bigger as well.

You mentioned you are under a doctor’s care for ED meds- have you had this conversation with him/her?

I’m a 60 y/o who’s combatting ED. I also am on testosterone replacement therapy and take 5mg/d cialis. I was frustrated with the variance in my EQ and began using a c ring consistently. With a c ring my EQ is consistently strong and like Patrick, got a nice girth bump from it, probably around 1/4”.

Sounds like you are occasionally having some delayed ejaculation (DE) problems, which I also occasionally get. DE is another of the issues associated with ED. I have no guidance for you other than share what works for me. I simply ask my wife how long she wants to go for ‘cause I may be a while, and generally just time it for her orgasm to stop. There have been times when I just have to say I need a break. Good communication helps makes the whole ED/DE much much more manageable.

Good luck!

Hey Jake -
Question…. do you watch porn? If so,stop! It has very negative psychological effects. You mention depression and if that is chronic it can devastate your sex life and ability to achieve firm erections. I’ll be 63 next month and I’m on hormone replacement therapy too… very small injection of Test. Cypionate once a week.
I supplement with L-Arngine too and occasionally use 20 mg of Cialis before sex if I’m not feeling 100%

My PE training actually helps my EQ and I’ve found it vitally important to work on erection quality at least 3 times per week on days I don’t weight hang or pump. Achieve and erection and maintain it for a minimum of 15-20 minutes.

I would highly recommend some professional counseling if your depression is habitual…. with the way the world is now, under a constant state of confusion and disarray , depression is something many are dealing with at this time!

I’m only 29, but I’d like to chime in if it’s worth anything.
-vitamin D (unless you get good sun everyday) you need to supplement it.
-ZMA (zinc, magnesium, B6
-exercise/fitness/movement (this is a must)

Also, look into ashwagandha. Specifically the KSM-66 version. Do some research and read the review on this stuff. I’m sure you’ll think, “jeez, why haven’t I heard of this before”.

It will help with your depression, test levels, sleep, decreasing cortisol (stress), quality of sleep and mood, and even more, your hypothyroidism. It may help you lose weight due to this as well changing your metabolism.

Replies:
Patrik, I have just recently started using cock rings, and yes the do help.

32quarters, I have an appointment with the doctor managing my hormones later this month, and you can bet I’ll talk about it.

LGHanger, my wife and I watch porn occasionally to help set the mood, but we rarely watch more than a scene or two. I’ve heard that porn can cause problems, but what about photos? I take and post a lot of nude photos of my wife and moderate several photo groups, so I spend maybe 10 minutes a day looking at nude photos of all types. Yes, I have chronic depression but am on Wellbutrin and have been for many years. But I don’t feel the need for counseling. I know why I’m depressed and have good reason to be, after having made some bad decisions and am suffering the consequences. But that’s another story.

Makehergocrazy, you’re right, I should be taking those and need to start working out. Ashwaganda rings a bell and I’ll look into it.

I appreciate the input.

Sounds as if you’re going in a positive direction….
It also appears like you have a great wife! Depression can be a lifelong battle, none of us are immune to experiencing it at one degree or another. Having a loving relationship with your wife where can be openly transparent about your battle will help you immensely. A close friend who’s a good listener with some wisdom can also help tremendously! Remember iron sharpens iron! Everyone fails in life and sometimes the consequences are very difficult to deal with. I had a 23 year marriage that failed, it ruined me emotionally and financially for a couple years. A lifelong friend gave me a great book to read by Pat Williams who was the senior vice president of the NBA’s Orlando Magic called “Who Wants to be a Champion?”
Great read that helped me get my life back on track!

My ED is primarily a result of diabetes though being 78 doesn’t help much either. When Viagra (100 mg) stoped being effective, my urologist prescribed Trimix injections which were very effective, at least for the first three years. However, I did have issues with delayed ejaculation. You should discuss Trimix injections with your doc.

As long as your having real sex with your wife porn won’t be too bad. Guys mess up when their sex life is messed up or non existent and they substitute porn for real srx.

jimbeaux - I’m an older member…and my member is older. 56. You know the routine about weight, exercise, drinking, so I won’t go into it.
1. Jelquing has improved my EQ immensely. I cannot say enough about it.
2. Weed turns me into an insane sex god. So maybe it’s a matter of buying the right kind?
3. Not sure what your PE routine is, but pumping helps me. Not the pumping itself; it does kill erections for a day or two. But a good pump routine gives me fat erections that create a feedback loop of giving me confidence…and confidence leads to erections. You get it.

When you say, “my self-identity is closely related to my sex life,” I understand.

Are you in the gym? Workout 30-60 minutes a day 5-6 days a week. It will improve blood circulation, dopamine and seretonin are increased which boost mood. Plus it keeps extra fat off. As we get older we may get depressed and tgen you learn it was important to stay moving.

Instead of working out at his age, make sure you’re walking and eating healthy. Jumping into training as you prescribed could have deadly consequences if he hasn’t had a complete physical and cleared by his doctor.

Like you, my self-identity is closely related to my sex life. And it is also closely related to my physical shape. My advice is to exercise. It truly is the ‘fountain of youth’

I’m in my later sixties, and the best sex of my life has been during this last decade. Just kissed the love of my life good-bye as she left the house for her morning run. She laughed that my boner was stretching my exercise pants out my full eight inches. Damn, that woman feels neglected if we don’t have sex every single night. And even if I’m feeling tired, my cock is hard and ready. It’s a fit body that’s doing this.

So get with it, and get in shape. Everything will fall back in place for you. Your cock and your wife will both thank you. I wish you the best, my brother —- and a lifetime of diamond hard erections.

Isolate variables, which is inline with much of what others are saying here.

If you have not already eliminated alcohol from your current routine, do so, completely. Also clean up your diet, increase exercise, and drink a lot of water. Again, some of what others are saying.

Basically live like a saint for 8-12 weeks and determine where you are at.

Unfortunately the body’s tolerance for excess and impurity decays with age.

I feel you.

Ugh.