Precum and Premature Ejaculation advice

Hi,

This is my first post, I have read the FAQ and guidelines and hopefully have understood them.

I’m 42 and off and on have tried PE for some time with ‘some’ temporary gains. Main reason for not being able to continue regularly is lack of available time from family, work, etc.

I have recently purchased a hydromax pump but have not tried it yet, based on reviews I realize it may not be permanent and most people suggest its better for girth than length but I thought it would be worth a try at least for length also.

Ok, thanks for bearing with the intro, reason for my post is that I have not been able to really last a long time most of my life. It has happened occasionally but quite rare. Normally I cum within 2-3 minutes of actual intercourse, is this considered premature ejaculation? I thought most people last only a few minutes hence it must be normal? Also, most times I’m not rock hard and still ejaculate, my erection I’d say is about 80-85% I would really like it to be rock hard.

Secondly, a lot of times when I’m with my woman and just laying there not necessarily to have sex but just for some foreplay, kissing, etc. I always notice that I leak precum, even when I don’t get hard. For a long time I tried to hide it and thought maybe I’m getting older, or wasn’t feeling good that day, or some other excuse. But I think this is an issue and could also be related to premature ejaculation that I described above. Any thoughts on that? I’m now convinced that I should DO something about both issues, unfortunately it took me a very long time to even identify that these could actually be issues.

Based on everything I read about control and lasting longer and even harder erections, I have started kegels a couple of months ago and basically do about 200-250 quick squeezes in the morning on my drive to work. The only thing I have noticed is that I now get morning erections 3-4 times a week which were pretty much gone for quite some time. Again, I thought since I’m getting older, its due to that and morning erections only happen when you’re young.

Anyways, I would truly appreciate any advice or suggestion regarding this. With the vast experiences on this site I’m hopeful that I will be able to get some good advice and info to correct this.

Last but not the least, if this is the wrong forum, please accept my apologies and move it as appropriate. I tried starting it in the men’s health forum but could not, even though my membership is been a month almost.

Thanks again

You want to be focusing on jelqing. This is the main thing that will help your erection quality and get it to a 100% as it should not be 80 - 85 %. Just stick with a newbie routine. I would stay away from any girth exercises like squeezes, etc. Kegels is good but don’t do too many either or the muscle will be to tired for a decent erection.

Regarding pre-cum. Some men have it some men don’t and actually a lot of woman find it a turn on so I would not be embarrassed about it at all. Regarding ejaculating too quickly 2 - 3 minutes is quite quick but not the worst. It is something you can work with. I would recommend when you start to feel getting close to change things up, go back to Oral, go in to a position where you are in control, etc. Other tricks are to think of something that turns you off, could be things like peanut butter or financial debts… Also you can try reversed kegels when you are about to come, this seems to work for some men to stop the orgasm. You can practice this quite easily it is the motion that you normally use to pee with more pressure (unlike kegels that you can use to stop your pee). Another way seems to be to kegel and hold it right before the point of no return.

Also have sex more often. When I have sex every day I can keep going. If it has been a week I can also come within a few minutes sometimes. If sex every day is not an option try jerking off a few hours before.

Do some searches about this in the forum and you will find more advice regarding the above.

I always Precum when I am going to have sex but I do not pre cum at all when Im masturbating no matter how long or how short time.

Thanks Uncas and Tenbris, really appreciate your advice and feedback.

@Uncas: I will start jelqing again and continue with the kegels, thanks I wasn’t aware that too many kegels can be actually counter productive. I guess I wouldn’t be too worried about the pre cum if the erection and lasting longer issues are improved, its good to know that some men have it some not. I don’t think my partner is turned on by it, but she also hasn’t said anything negative either.

Regarding kegels, I’ve read several posts and online places and I’m a bit confused. Some people suggest doing quick squeezes 50-100 or 200 but some suggest doing 5-10 second squeezes. I try to do quick squeezes about 200 and then maybe 20-30 5-10 sec squeezes. Can anyone please help in suggesting a proven and good kegel routine?

I have also noticed that my libido is not that great anymore. I used to be a really horny person pretty much every day, but now once I have sex, I usually don’t find myself wanting it for a few days at least, and some times I just do it for the heck of it thinking its been 5-6 days, I better do it, but its not really that satisfying and enjoyable of course because of the half assed desire. I exercise about 3-4 times a week and generally try to eat healthy, not a huge fan of vitamins or supplements, but could anyone PLEASE help in suggesting something that would improve my libido/desire ?? I’m not at all bored with my partner or anything, I still only want to have sex with her but the testosterone level is just not there.. :(
P.S. I don’t masturbate at all.. Not due to any particular reason tho

Thanks once again

Have you had a complete physical and blood work done recently? If not, you probably should. Make sure there’s no physical reason for your situation.

I actually had a full physical not too long ago, and thankfully everything was normal, as far as I was told. But I’m not a medical professional so its possible that they didn’t check EVERYTHING, maybe there are standard health evaluations which are not very deep.

I’m considering starting ginseng, maca and dong quai root regularly, any advice or opinion on that would be much appreciated.

Do you look at a lot of porn? Could be a reason for low EQ and low sex drive. Although I guess if you did you probably wouldn’t have premature ejaculation problems because you would be masturbating so much.

At any rate, just throwing it out there .

My libido and EQ dropped off significantly because I masturbated to so much porn. On the premature front, the only time it ever happened was when I would get myself to such a high state of arousal that I would pop without orgasm. What a ripoff.

A lot of times this stuff is mental and other times its physiological. Don’t ignore the mental aspect. It’s much more common than its given credit for.

If you’re convinced its not mental, try acupuncture. Hell, try it anyway and don’t be afraid to tell them everything. I know its considered an alternative treatment, but find a really good acupuncturist and give it a shot. I looked for the oldest Chinese practitioners I could find and picked between the ones with the best experience. I swear by them now.

As far as precum, I start dripping if there is even the slightest impression that sex is gonna happen. I precum so much that even if the female was dry, I would have more than enough to lube it up. That thought right there was enough..

Just my .02

Good luck man!

@Bazookajoey: I actually do not, but good question. I seldom have time and also am not too much of a fan of porn. Occasionally I do see clips that friends or someone forwards me but that’s about it. Thanks for the suggestion tho.

Nothing wrong with you producing precum, it’s actually good and works as a natural lube when you enter. What you could do is just before you reach the point of no return is to stop. You can also practice by masturbating and as you are about to cum, squeeze the glans and stop all hand movement. When the feeling has passed start again till almost there and repeat. Do this a few times and you’ll begin to notice you last longer in bed.

Just ran across this post and sorry for responding even though it’s a few months old. I’m a gay man and about the same age as you are but wanted to let you know that what you consider a problem, the precum, is a huge turn on for many men and women. If I was laying there with my man and saw his dick drooling, I’d be all over that thing. Precum does prime the pipe for ejaculation in some men. Your partner can help with slowly building up the activity.

Glad to hear precum isn’t linked to premature ejaculation. Hopefully the girl I end up with sees it as a good thing as well, since I’ve always had it, especially if a girl tries to actively turn me on (charged scenario/conversation).