Benefits of not jerking off.

I’ve been off mastrubation for three weeks now. I am married, and the reason I do this is to see what happens with our sex life. I also would like to stay off porn, if possible. Over the years, I feel more and more that I am cheating on her when I watch porn.

Have anyone else here tried this? How did you keep up? Did you sex life with your spouse blossom?

Masturbation has been a healthy component of my 18 year marriage and 23 years together with my wife. She encourages me to play with myself as needed, whenever, because sometimes she doesn’t feel sexy or she just knows I need “me time” and I need to get off the way I want with no one involved. She also plays with herself from time to time and cums in the shower sometimes prior to us having sex so she’s super ready and wanting (she’s in menopause so we are making sex happen any way possible…although she’s warmed up in the shower for years now because she loves it so much!).

I quit porn on 22 March 2021 and rarely if ever see anything. I do not pursue online content anymore; I do not actively search for or use any porn when I do PE or when I jerk off. I haven’t cum to a video of anything, or even photos, since March 22, I did so then and that’s when I knew I had a problem with it: I couldn’t really get hard anymore without it, and I couldn’t get hard for my wife either who desperately wanted my cock more than anything early this year.

I get harder now faster than I can ever remember. I can get hard by barely doing anything, just suggestive thoughts or ideas or even talk with my wife gets me up quick. I have 0 fear of anything sexually anymore: my hard on, my EQ, my stamina, nothing. I’m 45 and feel better sexually now than I did at 35, even though I was in seriously good shape then and worked out all week for years and years.

Sex with my wife has always been super amazing. Sex every single day possible for years and years. Only cancer that she got 7 and again 6 years ago has slowed us up, but then we were back at it. My porn use grew through those years, it was minimal and not daily, but then went to daily. But menopause killed us both and I delved deeply into porn. Not like all day, but several times a day for 5-15 minutes here and there. I started to have expectations of sex and what I wanted to do with my wife that I was reminded of on the screen but could not do with her, like doggy style fucking pretty vigorously like we used to be able to do, stuff like that. I could get hard to jerk off at a screen, I could not get hard for my wife even if her pussy was swollen wet red and ready. I then could not get hard alone without porn, and I couldn’t cum without porn either. Now I feel like a million bucks and don’t imagine ever wanting or needing to look at porn.

Is there an issue with your wife or relationship right now, is there no sex happening? Or is sex not so great and you want it to get better? All I know is this: my wife is my age, skinny like rail thin and still gorgeous. She turns me on to no end, but now that I’m off porn, she’s like the most desirable thing I’ve ever seen and I get hard from literally just looking at her hands free. I’ve never been able to do that before. I absolutely know its my no-porn lifestyle that is bringing me more excitement bodily and mentally with her.

Sex also feels better now. I was already very in tune with my body, but now its like I can live eat and breathe through my cock, and when I’m in her, I can feel so much more and I’m much more present with her and our shared pleasure. She’s a heavy cummer and gets off dozens of times (last night she gave me a hand job, had pants on but topless, and I wasn’t touching her, and she had a little orgasm from me just being in her hand!?) so I don’t need to do much of anything else for her to get off a lot. But my feeling of it all is so much more strong now, there is something going on that I can’t describe but the intimacy during intercourse is very fun, exciting, deep, sensual and remarkable now. We’ve always been very very close during sex, but its more so now, especially on my end.

Hope this all helps a little?!

Thank you, for a great answer. This was absolutely insightful and helpful. I am looking forward to see how things will work out. Sex with my wife is sometimes great - sometimes like a duty, and I wonder if I will want her more if I save myself for her. I hope so. We’ve been together for over 20 years, we’re in our mid 40s now, and I have always thought it’s natural to desire other women. Maybe it’s the other way around! If I don’t look at porn, maybe I’ll want her even more!

Quitting porn has been like a revelation to me, since I found out I reprogrammed my brain to seek constant arousal and stimulation, which in real life is not a normal thing.
My last porn-induced orgasm was in the beginning of October, but porn came really just like a background noise from an hour of edging.

Needless to say, sexual arousal solely from the presence of my girl skyrocketed. Since we don’t have sex, I wake up with a raging boner, which quickly transforms into a wild raging boner just from my girl’s aroma and sift skin. This morning’s experience, for example, lasted a good two hours of me rock hard while we cuddled for good morning.

Imagine two hours of erection. Painful erection. Tunicas stretching. Precum all over. Feels great.

I also quit porn this year and started edging instead of masturbation. The fact that I’m not coming as often makes me desire my girlfriend even more. I think you will benefit from this.
I don’t hate porn, will watch again as a background ambiance with my girl friend maybe but for solo play I’m out for good.

Good luck!

Thanks for liking my post, I try! My wife and I talk about sex all the time, any time of the day, even in public sometimes (when we are out together, rare nowadays), so talking sex here is super fun :)

I can say absolutely that I desire my wife so much more now. And i kind of cry at saying that :( I have always desired her, like a crazy fiend for her. I would spend 3+ hours sexually with her every day if possible, and have always felt like that.

But now without porn for so long, when I see her, its like I haven’t ever seen a woman before and she looks…like a supernatural being to me. Wow that’s kind of cheesy but I’m not deleting that! Its hard to explain in words what the new intensity in my desire for her is since not doing porn. I feel her more intensely when I touch her skin, breasts, ass, and especially pussy. I think there is intense intent behind my touch and she can feel it, too. She senses I have a new found focus on her when we’re intimate. And its the intimacy, not the physical act of sexual pleasure and satisfaction, that I crave with my wife: I need my wife, not necessarily just her pussy. But I want to experience intimacy with her through her genitals and she knows I’m not just in her to cum, sometimes I don’t even care when or if I cum, I just need that sexual intimate connection with her.

We’re mid-40s now too and man to be honest I undress every woman I see in public and imagine what their face looks like during orgasm, I have done this for over 20 years and I’m embarrassed to admit it but I do, and it isn’t changing and my wife knows I do this too. She thinks its natural and I’m not going over to say “hey, you’re hot!” or anything like that, and I never would. BUT I do not and did not and have not desired other women more than my wife because I watched porn. That has nothing to do with the natural, uncontrollable desire I just have to fuck everyone. I’m just a horn dog :( I’ve never ever acted on any feelings like this. Now that I’m not out in public a whole lot (covid is just a drag for us both) and not on porn when I see my wife, its so hot. Last night I looked down at her during sex and she looks like heaven sent her down, what a beauty :) I feel like I am compelled to tell her stuff like this versus before with porn I was a little more distant and it was more sex than intimacy.

I can honestly say I do want her more now maybe more than ever. My dirty thoughts about her have increased and just thinking about past sex we’ve had, or sex we will have later, makes my cock stir and if I touch it I’m getting hard uncontrollably. That did NOT happen on a steady diet of porn. I really do think you and your wife will be banging it out like gangbusters as a result of your porn quitting, I have the feeling ;)

If I have to masturbate I would get divorced!! She knows I love my porn and will never stop! As I have said before I have a good one!

A recent study found less cancer in men who ejaculated about 21 times per month.

Ejaculating At Least 21 Times A Month Can Cut Prostate Cancer Risk, Claims Study

I never masturbate almost anymore, keep my loads for the lady.

If I was single I would do it like maybe once a month max to help my prostate.

Benefits I found doing this are more energy, more focused, definitely more socially confident and dominant, more horny of course as well and I would say I eat more food for some reason but I could be wrong on this one.