depressing...

I’ve had a problem now with not being able to make my girlfriend orgasm. I’ve tried just about everything physically possible, I’m thinking a good part of it has to do with the psychological aspect, I really don’t understand it. My girth is lacking a little bit so that may contribute too.

Anyways, she and I had problems because even REALLY early on into the sexual aspect, she’d fake orgasms, and would do it repeatedly even after I said I would rather her not because it just made me feel worse. She kept giving me the “I just wanna make you feel good, what you don’t know won’t hurt you” card.

So then things got a little better and she seemed really into the sex we were having, except last night she made a comment along the lines of “sex doesn’t really feel that good anyways.” When I called her out on that, she said she “didn’t really feel anything but a sore/dull friction after entering her”. I thought about this, thought maybe it had to do with my size or something. I just don’t get it- I’m not that small (though I do want to improve, that’s why I’m here), and I’ve tried all types of positions, speeds, you name it, and she says she doesn’t really get any pleasure except in that extra-sensitive area right in the entrance? Is that normal?

When I told her how much that bugged me, especially because she never told me, she said “well I just love the intimacy and the way you are when we’re having sex, isn’t that good enough?”…uhh…no.

So I don’t know if it’s something with her, or something with me, or if she’s lying (we’ve been fighting lately too about other things). It’s just quite a hit to the ego to know that you’ve been having sex for a while and your partner “hasn’t even really enjoyed it.”

Any thoughts?

>>she doesn’t’t really get any pleasure except in that extra-sensitive area right in the entrance? Is that normal? <<

Yes!
She just told you what she wants / needs and where to pay attention to her body at, that’s good communication coming from her.
Whip out that tongue and go to work buddy, in that “extra sensitive area”.
Start lightly, tease her with light licks, then as she gets more into it, you get more into it, press your face right into that “extra sensitive area” if she can stand it find that clit and circle it with your tongue. Stick your tongue deep in her twat and growl, humm, make deep throaty sounds that vibrate. Then when you go to enter her take your dick head and rub up and down her twat teasingly, enter a little then pull back, tease that twat, man.
Taking a couple of things for granted here, one is she has good personal hygiene, second that you have no aversion to giving oral pleasure to her.

I see what you’re saying, and I have no problem doing any of that. My whole issue was the fact that she said she got no pleasure out of the simple penetration. I always knew the entrance was MORE sensitive, I never realized that she could have absolutely no sensitivity inside though, you know?

Kai,
We have communicated about cheating girls, and I thought this would be a good opportunity to throw some fuel on the fire. In my personal experience with and subsequent detailed study of cheating women, I have found that a very high percentage of them are not orgasmic. Apparently the self-esteem issues that lead them to cheat also effect how they see their own sexuality. They are in it for the flirting, teasing, touching - all the things that reassure them they are “worth” something, not really the sex per se. They know they are defective, and it is why they can’t have pleasurable sex or a valid relationship - but they keep on trying in the hopes that SOME man will fix them.

In short - it is not you. Dr. Ruth says everyone is responsible for their own sexual pleasure. I personally know how painful it is to be in a relationship with a woman who does not orgasm with me - but goes out with other men. We want to blame ourselves, think we are somehow bad lovers, or deficient. Hell, I started PE because my ex slept with an African American musician who she told me was the best lover she ever had and his dick was twice as long as mine. Evil bitch, that one. It is never us Kai. You are probably the most tender, caring, competent lover she has ever been with or ever will be with. Someday, you will meet a good woman who will reassure you of just that - I promise.

In the mean time, if you want to stay with this girl, take her at face value when she says, “well I just love the intimacy and the way you are when we’re having sex”. To her it is all she will ever have, and it is as important to her as squirting female orgasms are to you.

The fights you’re having about “other stuff” are probably linked to the sex, but I’m sure you’ve already thought of that and that’s the last thing you want to hear.
I’d analyze this further, but there’s a lot I don’t know.

How long have you been together?

I would seriously consider finding a woman that enjoys the feeling of sex. There’s not much hope if she doesn’t particularly like it.

2 years, and like steve mentioned, there’s some history I want to get to, I’ll write it out once I clean myself up.