Divorce Crazy Time

sheeez, so it is true. I knew this gay guy that told me that so very many men were at least bi that I wouldn’t believe it but I guess this proves it along with the kinsey study. It really is unbeleivable. He used to tell me that every single day in the toilets of his law firm “straight married men” would go for it with other men. He used to laugh at me for being naive and I used to think he was crazy.

I wander that if it was acceptable (according to society) to be with men how widespread it would be. Maybe in ancient times they got it right when men were sexual objects and women were there for having babies.

I think for the most part men have tendencies but many are not willing to admit to this. All of us here like big cocks in one way or another.

Bigone, just be safe and don’t let your risky behavior lower your self-esteem to the point that you stop caring about yourself.

Easy usually does not equal quality.

Also, do not fall into the trap of hearsay justification which gets more people intp personal crisis. Make your decisions by your experience and lots of other research.

The main thing is stop short of long term harm to yourself.

Bigone

Sorry to say it’s pretty nasty getting BJ’s from guys or girls in an arcade and very unsafe. Find your self a butt/bj buddy if your bi.

Dino

Dash

Thanks for the comments and concern. I do appreciate it. It isn’t my intention to keep on using people this selfish way. I have been checked several times for STD’s and so far negative. I do want to quit and am taking some steps to stop my fall in the hole (no pun intended that I am in) Thanks again.

Dino

I do know it is a nasty place and unfortunately I have been one of the nasty people there using people. Most of my sex partners for the last few months have been from the internet. But I had been going to arcades for a couple of months and like I said I am addicted. The only way to stop is cold turkey and I haven’t gone this week. I also cut off my two internet sex sites last week. I declined to go to a swinger party I was invited to for tomorrow night. I am still getting offers in my email for all kinda kinky sex. One wife got really mad at me earlier in the week when she found I had cut my site off wanting to know what happened to me and when I was going to get with them. Some are really pushy people.

I didn’t reveal some of my experiences to shock people though I am sure it is shocking to some. One year ago it would have shocked me. I have turned down kink that shocked me even recently. I just wanted to have some no strings fun with a couple. This is how it started out and it just got out of hand. Wilder and weirder as time went along. I am going to try my best to stay clean a few months. Be happy to play with my rod myself and make it grow some more and then get tested again and try to ease into a one on one intimate realtionship with a nice lady. I am not proud of what I have been doing, but I believe I have grown as a person from my experiences. I hope I haven’t caught some kinda shit. I do know myself better …what I am and what I am not. I have more compassion for men and women who are different than I am. I am less judgmental of others.

I do want my kids to be proud of me and be a good example to them and of late I have not been a good role model for a family guy. Time will tell if I can straighten my life out and get back to my old life. I think I can and I am gonna try my best to clean my act up.

bigone,

I wish you well in your efforts to extract yourself from what has become a sex addiction. I still like porn too much for my own good, and sometimes I wish I could stop watching all together. I don’t let it get in the way of my real life, but still it is a habit I could do without. I know I have the potential for addictive activity, so crossing the line into sexual behaviors outside of my marriage (no matter how thrilling) would just be too tempting to continue once I got started.

Maybe, you should try to go cold turkey and reestablish new non-sexual priorities right away. In the long run, the successes of your life will be measured in the successes of your children, not in the passions of the moment. Take care and all my best to you.

Peforeal

Peforeal

Thanks for your insight. I am blessed with three great kids too. I may have been in a poor quality marriage, but we did a great job on the kids. The second one graduates today and got into an ivy league school. All three kids are better looking, smarter and more talented than my ex and me. We did something right with them. The divorce has been damaging to them I am sure, but they are doing fine. I am determined to get along with my ex whether she wants to get along with me and coparent them the best we can.

As to my addictive sexual behavior, I think if I don’t stop I could become a Marquis de Sade type. I have encountered so many types of people, sadistic, borderline violent, people who want to be degraded and pissed on, women who want me to beat their husband up or wrestle him down so she can do what she wants to him, a cross dressing bank vice president that wanted to be blindfolded, hand cuffed and raped (met him early and I declined then, he is lucky I hadn’t met him recently because I have handcuffs and have used them) tv’s, and people visiting my town wanting to play in hotels. Some I have been with want to pay me to visit them out of state. Guys sending me naked pics of their wifes and girlfriends. One guy got mad at me because I was unable to drive to San Antonio for his wife’s 40th birthday party so he could videotape her sucking my dick. He emailed me cussing me out because I ruined her birthday.

Sometimes I could only laugh at how fucking bizarre my sex life has become and it was getting weirder. Each day brought new potential when I read my email. If nothing interesting was going on and I was bored I could go to the arcades and get sucked a time or sometimes twice in one day. Once at lunch and again on my way home from work. I thought it bizarre that often some married business guy with kids was sucking my dick to completion and a few minutes later would be kissing his wife with my cum on his lips. Sometimes I was mean to those guys and would hold them by their ears and gag them. Treat them like shit. Same thing with some of the skanky women I met. Like I said I am not proud of a lot of what I have done. I need to change and get a rest from my wildness.

bigone0749,

Again be careful out there, and much strength to you in altering the current path of your lifestyle. Obviously, you are quite aware of the potential longterm seriousness of continuing what you are doing. Your references to some of the crazies that you have contacted worries me in that you never know when these people might not only have contact with you but also with the members of your family. That would be devastating! If you really want to stop and are still having diffculty, perhaps some 3rd party counseling might be appropriate.

Best to you,
Peforeal

Peforeal,

I haven’t gotten with anyone for one week. I closed my internet sites a little over a week ago. Most contacted me through there. A few have my email at work. I know where some of them live, but I never chased them they contacted me.

My kids know that skanky women contacted me and I think they suspect I have had sex with guys. When this first started out, women and couples would send me pics and I would delete them. I didn’t know about emptying the recycle bin. They saw some pics. Gals in tongs and fuck pics I think. Also, a few dick pics with guys wanting to trade pics. One guy had sent some pics of his wife sucking my dick to me. That was unfortunate, but it happened.

As to counseling, I don’t want to go back to my psychiatrist. Last time I saw him about a year ago he said I was coping well and didn’t need pills. He loves giving out pills. My other two therapists were my anger management guy and the marital therapist. Last time I saw my anger management guy he recommended I go to Sunday school at a couple of large churches and find me some decent women to fuck until I find a woman of my own.

Right now I just want to slow down, catch up at work, and enjoy my kids while they are still home. I do like exercising and doing my PE.

bigone0749,

Glad to read that you’ve been able to go solo for one week. One week leads to two weeks, etc. Hopefully your children will think that the pics they saw on the computer were just random downloads, rather than something personal to their father. It would be unfortunate if your ex would use information like this against you.

Maybe in an effort to refocus, you can completely throw all of your energy into PE’ing bigtime. Concentrate on yourself and work 50% of the time and on your kids the other 50%. They deserve your attention. Childhood is fleeting, as they grow up and away from their parents.

Take care,

Peforeal

Peforeal,

Sounds like a plan. Thank you for your genuine concern.
later …Big